The 4 Things Every Woman Needs for a Life-Changing Reinvention After 40

What if the life you're craving isn't about becoming someone new, but finally coming back to yourself?

Reinvention after 40 is different. At this point, you've lived enough life to know what happens when you ignore your own voice, override your intuition, and shape yourself around what everyone else expects of you.

In this episode of The Femme Cast, we get into what it actually takes to create a powerful midlife reinvention that is led from the inside out.

Because starting over isn't about throwing your old life away. It's about learning to trust yourself again, healing the experiences that taught you to abandon parts of who you are, paying attention to the patterns your own life has been showing you, and becoming willing to imagine a future that isn't limited by who you've been told you're supposed to be.

This is the deeper work of personal reinvention. The unlearning. The unbecoming. The finding yourself after 40.

And when you start listening differently to your own intuition, your past, your desires, and the clues your life has been leaving behind, something changes.

You stop asking, "Who should I become?"
And start asking, "Who am I when I stop abandoning myself?"

If you're a woman over 40 who knows there is more for you, but you're not quite sure what that "more" looks like yet, this episode is for you.

Your next chapter may not require a better version of you.
It may simply require the real one.

Press play. Your reinvention era might be closer than you think.

Your next chapter might be closer than you think.

The Reinvention Circle is now open to the first 10 women ready to make space for what comes next.

Early Bird is $197 through August 31, then the founding rate is $297.

Curious? Come take a look.
https://www.thefemmecast.com/reinventioncircle

Transcript

Why Reinvention After 40 Hits Different

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Hey you guys, what is up? Welcome back to the show. I'm so excited and grateful to have you guys here. Welcome if you're new. Today I kind of wanted to talk about the four key things that you need if you want to have a super freaking epic, juicy, life-altering, mind-blowing reinvention after 40 or whenever you're seeing this. Okay. And these are the things that I have leaned on again and again, and I have been leaning on since I turned 40. Like my reinventions I talked about in the last episode before 40 were all externally guided, right? After 40, they really became internally led. And I really needed to cultivate a system in order to do that so that it could, each time I reinvented myself, I became more and more closer to the most authentic version of myself. And this took time because we have to, number one, we have to learn to trust ourselves again. We need to learn to heal the parts of ourselves that, you know, were kind of hurt along the way. We need to learn to, you know, discover who it is that we've always been that we've never really given space to. And we need to really open ourselves up to possibilities that maybe aren't on our radar yet, right? All of that takes time. It takes practice. It takes, it takes a lot of unlearning and unbecoming and opening up to different possibilities and different ways of doing things and different ways of being so that you can create the containers in order to really come home to the most authentic version of yourself, right? And who you're meant to be, and the most fulfillment that you've like just the juiciest life you could ever freaking imagine, right? Things that you at one point never thought would have been possible become possible. You know, I never, if you've told me I would have traveled through Southeast Asia by myself for six months, I would have said you're fucked. I couldn't even go to the movies by myself, okay? Let alone travel to Southeast Asia by myself. To take dance classes and start performing dance, like that something I wanted to do since I was a kid. Who would have ever thought I would have started to do that in my 40s? Starting my own business, creating an app, starting a podcast. Like who even, who even is this person? I don't know her. She is not who I thought I was gonna be at all, right? Who's this loudmouth on the microphone right now? I don't know. I didn't, I wouldn't have known her if you had told me like 15 years ago, I would have known this woman. It was because of this whole of like this whole process, this whole method of reinvention that I've cultivated again and again and again and proven again and again that I've been able to do

The Four Ingredients Framework

SPEAKER_00 3:36

this. Okay. So there's four key ingredients every time you're moving through a reinvention.

Put Intuition In The Front Seat

SPEAKER_00 3:43

The first thing, most important, is your intuition. Okay? Your intuition is, you know, as a woman, I'm sure you, I'm sure you know you're very intuitive. I'm I'm sure you probably, you know, you've you've probably learned that your intuition will never steer you wrong. However, life gets really good at trying to minimize or delegitimize the information that comes through you intuitively. Okay. You learn to doubt it. Sometimes, you know, I find, you know, your intuition tells you to do things. It's not the safest things in the world. Sometimes it does keep you safe. Sometimes it absolutely keeps you safe. It absolutely has your back, it absolutely gives you a warning when something's not right, when something's not for you. Right. But sometimes it tells you to do things and you're like, that's fucking crazy. In what world would that ever work? Right. And sometimes we just, you know, we get really good at letting the world tell us something different, you know, and to play on our insecurities, to play, to dangle the things that we want and say, hey, you can have this, but you need to do this first. And we very, very slowly but surely over time learn to abandon ourselves, learn to ignore our intuition and learn to trust what the world is telling us and put importance or more trust into that than what our internal guidance system is telling us. I know we use our internal guidance systems for the smaller things, right? And we trust, we trust our intuition to tell us what we're gonna eat for lunch. We trust our intuition to tell us, you know, you know, which swimsuit to buy online and which one not to, right? I know we use our intuition to tell us who to swipe left on and who to swipe right on, but even that sometimes fails and blows up in our face. You know, we use our intuition for many, many, many things. But we should be using our intuition for everything. And that's not to say that we should never apply logic. Of course we should. Of course, we should always apply mindful logic. We should always be in a very emotionally neutral place whenever we make bigger decisions. I believe that 100%. But I believe intuition intuition needs to have like the front seat at the table for all things. And the only way that we can do that is when we start to repair trust with our intuition. Okay. And there, you know, there are there when when we work together in any one of my containers, we do a lot of intuitive empowerment work and helping you to get really back in touch with your intuition, your own internal guidance system, because that's really what's going to help you to become the greatest version of yourself and really create the best and most fulfilling life. I can't tell you what to do or who to be or how to show up in the world. That's on you, right? And the only way to really like hone in on that is to really learn to tap into and focus on your intuition and let that guide you, let that lead you, let that inform you. Okay. So there's a lot of tools and techniques that I typically share with people. We're gonna be, I'm gonna be, that's the one of the first things we're gonna be covering in the coaching calls in the reinvention circle. There's gonna be a couple of exercises that I'm gonna be giving you to do and some meditations and whatnot, but very simply, very, very, very simply. If you can just start to rebuild trust with your intuition, right, on a daily basis, you're halfway there. Okay, you're halfway there. So you can totally do this. So, what I would invite you guys to do is to start to reflect and journal. Start to think back. What were all the times that your intuition was telling you to do something or not to do something, and you listened? Write down the times you actually remember listening, and how did that work out? And be careful because sometimes our ego can come in as our intuition, and that's one of the things that we're gonna be separating. So a lot of times we think, oh, you know, my intuition told me to to date this guy, and I dated him and you know, got my heart broken. So what the heck is that about? Well, was it your intuition or was it your ego telling you to date him? Was it your libido telling you to date him? Because let me tell you, our libido lies. It lies all the time. Or was it just a lesson and you haven't really extracted the lesson in that experience? Because a lot of times, you know, relationships that come into our lives, they're meant, they're here to teach us something, to heal something, to help us to see something that we're not aware of. So there's many different ways to slice it, but overall, write down all the times that you trusted your intuition and how that worked out. But then I also want you to write down all the times you didn't trust your intuition, where your intuition told you to do something and you ignored it and said, nah, it's gonna be okay. And you went ahead and did it anyway. How did how did that work out for you? And I want you to start to see and rebuild trust in your intuition again. And then what I want you to do is I want you to take the days, each each and every day, I want you to practice making intuitive-based decisions. Okay. Do it for the little things. Do it for what to eat for lunch, what to wear to work, what color, what color to put on your nails at the salon, where to meet your girlfriends for a coffee, you know, what to buy at the farmer's market on Saturday morning, like whatever. Do use your intuition to guide all your mundane, seemingly like what's it called, insignificant decisions. That is going to help exercise your intuitive muscles and really start to flex them and work them and strengthen them so that you can slowly start making the bigger decisions with your intuition. This should be a daily thing. Like intentionally go out every day and make intuitive-based decisions and see where that leads you and start to rebuild that trust. And sooner or later, you will be able to use it to make the higher stakes decisions as well. Now, again, I'm gonna be giving you some tools in the reinvention circle to do this. There's a couple of guided meditations and some journaling exercises that are really gonna help you get like so much information from your higher wisdom that you never even thought was possible. Okay. But for now, just tune into what feels like a yes, what feels like a no, turn into this or that and trust that to guide you along your path. Okay. Second

Heal Old Hurts Without Avoiding Life

SPEAKER_00 10:36

thing, and this one takes a little bit more work, right? And this is where this is probably what gonna be we're gonna be covering in week two, which is healing from all the past hurts that have kind of molded you to be who you are today. Because when we go through experiences that are painful, when we lose people that we love, when we get our heart broken, when we lose our jobs, we lose our, you know, we we suffer financial collapses, we lose our homes, we lose our fur babies, right? When we go through all these painful things that we haven't healed and fully processed, we tend to move through life, avoiding trying to feel those certain pains again, those losses again, those heartbreaks again. When in reality, each and every one of those things did have kind of a gift or a lesson for us if we were open to seeing it that way. And the more we avoid them, the more we just kind of keep perpetuating them. And the more we keep perpetuating them, the more we keep sort of hiding the parts of ourselves that we've now told, we've told ourselves, well, I can't be this person because if I'm that person, this is gonna happen again. I'm gonna get hurt and I'm gonna feel pain. So I'm gonna hide that part of myself and be something a little bit different so I can hopefully cultivate a different experience, a more harmonious experience, a happier experience, a more fulfilling experience, a more successful experience, you know, whatever that is, right? So now we've we've we've turned our back on what is internally wanting to come through us, and we're becoming what externally the world has told us we think we should be, in order to avoid feeling pain, loss, grief, or hurt heartbreak. When in reality, you know, nothing could be farther from the truth. We are every time we do that, we move farther and farther away from who we are authentically and more and more into this false persona that we've created to feel safe. But we need to be able to move past all of that and come back to the truth of who we are. But we can't do that without processing the experiences that maybe made us turn our back on ourselves in the first place, right? So this is the part where a lot of people need a lot of hand holding and support. And that's where having a supportive community comes in really helpful because then it becomes just so much easier when you have that safe container to do that, right? It can feel scary to do it on your own, but that's not to say that you can't do it on your own, right? When you start to reflect on the losses, the pains, the griefs, the heartbreaks, maybe some of the angers and the resentments that you're holding on to, when you start to see what those, you know, when you can open up to and say, well, what was that here to teach me? What was that here to show me? What was revealed to me through that that would not have been revealed to me without that having happened, you know, what blessings came into my life as a result? What changed in my life that was probably for the better, even though it didn't feel like it in the moment, right? All these things play a part. And even in the most painful, you know, I've worked with a lot of like trauma survivors. I I've even survived a lot, I've had a lot of PTSD that I had to like move through. Some of the most traumatic experiences that I've been through, you know, really shaped who I am today. Like I would not be the person that I am today had I not gone through that experience. Was it painful? Yeah. Did it totally, was it totally mindfuckery when I was like moving? Yeah, it was. It was absolutely. And that's not to say that everything that happens is good and for a reason. I don't, I don't believe that. I believe we need to give, I believe we need to give our experiences the moment that they deserve to be felt, to be acknowledged, and to be respected. But that being said, there was blessings to be extracted from a lot of those painful experiences that I could not see until I had moved through those experiences to see the silver lining in some of them. It was very hard to see in a lot of them, right? But when you start to, when you start to look at life that way, you know, everything starts to land differently and every you start to see things differently, you start to move through life differently, and you start to use it differently in a more empowered way to inform certain decisions. So you're no longer making decisions to avoid a pain, you're making decisions to become the most authentic expression of yourself. And that I think is the most empowering thing, right? Then

Gather The Data From Your Past

SPEAKER_00 15:06

you want to look at again, who were those different, you know, and then we talked about this last week. Who were those different parts of you in all those different phases of your life that were wanting to be expressed, that were wanting to come through? What were the things that you accomplished that brought you so much joy, that made you feel so fulfilled, that gave you a lasting and healthy experience of happiness and fulfillment? Not the short egocentric bursts. I'm talking like real resonant. Yeah, this felt really good and nourishing for my soul. What were the things that didn't feel good and nourishing for your soul that you were forcing yourself, right? All of these things, they're all this is the data gathering phase, right? Gather the data, go back on your life. What felt like fulfillment and peace and harmony, what felt hard, burnout, forced, resentment, frustration, right? Start to really map those parts of your life out and see what the map is trying to show you, because it is trying to show you something.

unknown 16:08

Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

And then if you can use that to kind of inform this next level or this next era of who you're becoming and use that as kind of like guides or stepping stones. I can tell you right now, everything that I'm doing right now, the app that I created, the container, the coaching container that I've created, the podcast, like the how we're talking here now, all of this was in some way, shape, or formed informed and helped and supported by every job I've ever had in my past. Even my retail jobs, because I was constantly coaching and working with women, constantly, all day, every day for decade for like a decade. Okay. I was constantly coaching and working with and supporting women. Then in my corporate career, I was in learning and development. I was running a coaching, a leadership coaching program. I was, you know, what's it called? Coordinating leadership learning events and trainings and development events. Then I was in tech and SaaS and creating apps and technology and creating amazing user experiences. Like everything that I have done in my career has informed what I'm doing here today. And my in my teenage years, I was a total fucking mouthpiece. So hello enter podcast, right? This makes my teenage me very, very, very happy that I get to do this, right? So that's week three. Week three is all the data gathering. So, you know, go through your life, gather the data. What are the little nuts and bolts of what have they been trying to tell you and show you about yourself, about where you feel naturally inclined to go, what gifts come naturally to you, what feels pleasurable to you, what feels alive in you, what feels inspiring in you versus what feels stagnant and forced and and like you're swimming through quicksand trying to do, right? These are the things that are guiding you. And then lastly, becomes the, you know, is really tapping into the untethered vision of who you can be on the other side of all

Build An Untethered Vision

SPEAKER_00 18:17

this. This is the vision that, you know, the world has never made you feel was possible. Because maybe, maybe it's not good. Maybe the world thinks it's not a good thing to do, or maybe it just like me with the podcast, maybe it just doesn't even exist in your realm of possibilities. You haven't seen it. You haven't, there's been no example of it. So you don't know that you want it. How can you know what you want, what you haven't seen ever? Right. And as we, as we move through this process and as we move through, and by, you know, by week four, you've really like mastered your and honed in on your intuition. You've really learned to like, you know, cultivate that skill and trust it, and it really becomes more powerful for you. It starts to to really open up possibilities for you that you never thought were there. And so when we move through like week four or this fourth part, it's really about, you know, just tapping into this vision that the world has never told you was either A, okay, or B possible. And C, you've never even seen an example of it. So how could you even know if it was acceptable or possible? Right. So, you know, when you do all the like you can do all this on your own. I'm not saying like you don't, if you don't want to, if you're not ready to jump into the program with me, you don't have to. You can do this all on your own. Tune into your intuition, make intuitive based decisions. Do that as often as you can, every single day, every moment of the day. Do it for the smaller staked ones first, and then go bigger, go bigger, go bigger, and really start to learn to work and flex those intuitive muscles. Then start to reflect on some of the heartbreaks, some of the losses, some of the hurt, some of the pain, some of the resentment. What was it trying to show you? How was it trying to empower you? What who was it asking you to become on the other side? Right? And really start to see the silver lining and a lot of those really painful experiences. And then look at the data. What were the moments in your life that inspired you? Who inspired you? What felt fulfilling? What motivated you? What got you excited to get out of bed in the morning? And then the opposite, what didn't? And what can you quantify from that data? And then last but not least, if you could do anything, anything at all, anything in the world without any consequence, without any fear that you wouldn't be okay, what would that be? Or what does that feel like? Even if you can't get a picture of it yet, what does that feel like? And really start to make that your North Star. Okay. Do

Share Your Insights And Go Deeper

SPEAKER_00 20:55

this. Let me know how it goes. Reply to the email and let me know how it works out for you or what comes through or what insights you get. Wherever you're seeing this podcast, comment in the comments. Again, I have no idea where I'm gonna be posting these. I'm figuring it out as I go. I'm in the middle of my own reinvention and I'm sharing that in real time on TikTok. So you can go ahead and follow me along there and on Substack as well. But let me know. Let me know how these resonate and how these land. And if you are ready to go deeper, if you do want some support with this, again, we are starting in September. I think September 14th is the start state. The start date. We're doing reinvention circle. It's one month, okay, four weeks. We get four group coaching sessions where we're gonna be covering all of this. You're gonna be getting a companion app to support you day to day in and day out with taking the aligned action steps to rebuild and reinvent yourself in the most aligned and authentic way. And you're also gonna get a community like a group chat where you guys can engage and connect and support each other as you move through your journey and ask questions and get support. Okay. September 14th is a start date. I'm opening this up for 10 women only. This is the first cohort that is gonna be coming through this program, this container. It is only $297. I wanted to keep this super affordable, but if you invest before September 1st, 2026, you get it for $197. Okay. So that pricing is available on my website until September 1st. The link is in the show notes below. Until next time, you guys, massive love.