Coming Out of the Woo-Woo Closet | Visibility Wounds, Sharing Your Spiritual Gifts & Leading Before You Feel Ready

This episode of The Femme Cast is a raw, unapologetic conversation about visibility, emotional alchemy, and the courage to be seen before you feel “ready.” I’m sharing the real story behind coming out of the spiritual closet. The premonitory dreams, the sudden activations, the religious guilt, the identity whiplash of leaving corporate logic for intuitive truth, and the messy middle no one glamorizes.

If you’ve ever felt the pull to lead, speak, or serve… while secretly fearing judgment, exposure, or being seen as “too much” or “not healed enough,” this is for you.

We talk about the five core visibility wounds, why over-performing for approval keeps you small, and how craving recognition while hiding your power is often a survival strategy, not a character flaw. I name the shadow most healers avoid: helping while healing, serving without credentials, and trusting that being ten steps ahead is enough.

This isn’t spirituality as performance.
It’s intuition grounded in discernment.
Leadership rooted in lived experience.
Impact without self-abandonment.

You’ll hear how I learned to separate signal from noise, create energetic safety, speak to one right person instead of everyone, and reclaim a direct connection to Source without outsourcing authority to fear, dogma, or perfection.

This episode is for the unapologetic woman who knows she’s here to make an impact, but has been shrinking her voice to stay safe.

You’re not behind. You’re becoming visible to yourself first. And that’s where real transformation begins.

Chapters

• 1:24 Setting The Stage: Visibility Wounds
• 1:52 Fear Of Revealing Spiritual Gifts
• 4:26 Practical Identity Versus Mystic Awakening
• 6:13 Premonitions And Early Intuitive Experiences
• 10:17 Sorting Dreams, Signals, And Noise
• 12:59 Awakening Through Trauma And Overwhelm
• 16:04 Visibility Fears: Work, Friends, And Judgment
• 22:12 Impostor Feelings While Still Healing
• 24:42 Channelled Message: Help Those Ten Steps Behind
• 27:03 Not Everyone Is Your Audience
• 29:18 Share For One Person Who Needs It
• 31:19 Recording Unplanned: Trusting The Flow
• 32:47 Religion, Guilt, And Reclaiming Gifts
• 37:04 Direct Connection To Source And Power

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:42

Hey guys, what is up? Welcome back to the show. I'm so excited and grateful to have you guys here. Welcome if you're new. Let's dive in. We've been talking a lot about the five core visibility wounds that I, you know, come across again and again and how I experienced them both in myself and in my clients so many of the times. We talked about, you know, the fear of speaking your truth and how that kept me, you know, basically off social media for two and a half years. Hard to believe now when I think back to that time. But I wanted what I wanted to hone in on specifically was the fear around me coming out of the woo-woo closet with my spiritual gifts. This was a huge block for me for so many reasons. And the reality is, is we're standing, we're in this time where I think a lot of people are going to be opening up to their spiritual gifts, or they've already come to come into awareness of their spiritual gifts, but they're deepening, they're getting activated, they're feeling the push to kind of share them with the world, right? All of this is very, very, very important. And it's not happening by accident. I do believe that, you know, with all the karma and the energies that we cleared last year and coming into the year of the horse now, a lot of that is spiritual activations and intuition. So, and I do believe that it plays a very important role in a much bigger picture. Um, I do believe that a lot of people are gonna be coming online with their gifts. I do believe that a lot of people, their gifts are gonna be deepening, and I do believe that a lot of people are gonna be feeling the pull to cope public with their gifts, and they're gonna feel just as freaking awkward as I did, right? And there were so many reasons. There were so many reasons why coming out of the woo-woo closet was so difficult for me, you know. For starters, you know, I was always the practical one. Well, not always, not definitely not when I was younger. When I was younger, I was a total freak and a rebel. Once I got older, right, I was defiant, I was a freak, I was a rebel. Like there was no, there was no ands, if or buts. But then as I got older, I kind of, you know, real, I went, I went like, if I was like, you know, spiraling into like chaos when I was younger as a teen, I went like completely straight and narrow when as I got older, where, you know, very practical, very logical, great corporate job, on the right path, you know, like everything, every I was making all the right moves by societal standards, right? So there was there was a real practical side to who I was and and logical that just didn't jive with who I was actually becoming when I, when I, when I woke to kind of, you know, the the spiritual gifts that were kind of coming through for me. There was also, you know, I did have a lot of toxic relationships in my life. I also had a lot of toxic traits within me, right? From my own conditioning. And so coming out with out of the spiritual closet as, you know, a healer or an intuitive or whatever, I knew people were gonna be like, who the hell is she to think that, you know, she's probably one of the most toxic people we've ever met. Not that I was a horrible person, but I had a lot of codependencies, a lot of attachments, a lot of insecurities, a lot of fears, a lot of negative thought patterns. So, and and a lot of that really like intensified actually as I started to wake up to my spiritual gifts. So, you know, there was that. Then there was, you know, my upbringing, like in my religion, like it was just like there was just no place for intuition or spiritual gifts or anything like that, where I came from. And if if if if if that was a thing, then it wasn't, you know, there was it, there was a darker entity that, you know, that was involved. It wasn't, it wasn't of God, put it that way. And so there were so many reasons why I was afraid to come out with my spiritual gifts. And I think, you know, for the longest time, you know, when I was younger, I had very strong premonitions and I had a very strong intuition. And, you know, oftentimes it did scare me. It did. Sometimes I saw things that I couldn't explain. I had premonitions about, you know, certain world events. I had premonitions about family members being in accidents and and that came out of like out of nowhere. And and it was really scary the way they kind of unfolded, right? Like it was really scary when it's almost like I saw it's hard to explain without I, you know, I want to be mindful of my family members, and I don't want to say anything that, you know, I don't want to out their circumstances, right? But basically, I was kind of shown where something had gone wrong, and I was shown the worst case scenario, and then I was shown where divine intervention kind of took a hand and and and things ever everything turned out okay in the end, right? And and through no explanation, and then I remember it was through a dream that I had that happened, and I thought, wow, that was a crazy dream. And then next thing you know, we're getting a phone call that somebody was in an accident, right? And and literally, like how I saw them in my dream is how I saw them in the hospital after the accident. So it was, it was, it was like, it was very like, okay, it was hard to deny that obviously something was going on, something deeper or something more mystical than I had ever really paid attention to. And I think that was probably the first time that that had happened. Or not the first time, sorry, the most significant where it was the first time where I was like, okay, wow, some something, something bigger is going on here than just, you know, it was a good guess, right? Because all like throughout my life, it's like, oh, that's a coincidence. Oh, that's a coincidence, oh, that's a coincidence. Okay, that cannot be a fucking coincidence. I'm sorry. That was just too bold. So, you know, and and at that moment, and and kind of, you know, a couple of times later after that when I saw some premonitions that were a little bit scary and a little bit off-putting. It scared me. And I didn't want that anymore. It it scared me because there were certain things I just didn't want to know, and it was, it became very hard to tell what was, you know, reality versus what was just my imagination like getting the best of me, right? Because there is both. There is both. Like, I mean, especially when we're talking about dreams, dreams in particular was one way that I got a lot of messages. And sometimes it was very hard to tell what was a premonition versus a nightmare, you know, because both can be real or both can be can be present and both can happen simultaneously. And it's and sometimes it was very hard to tell. Now I know better of what's a premonition versus what's a nightmare. But, you know, at the time it was very hard to hone in on that skill. It was very hard to determine where the feelings and the intuitions and the guidance that I was getting, where they were coming from, was it safe? It was very hard to, and even as I got older and started to dabble, you know, there was all this uncertainty around, well, you know, what kind of energies am I dealing with? Who am I, who am I communicating with? Where are these, where this is this information coming from? What other energies are coming towards me? Can I trust all the energies? There was just so much. There was so, so, so, so, so much. But I think, you know, when we talk about visibility and spiritual gifts, right? You know, when I think back to the moments when, you know, I had put it, you know, my intuition and my spiritual gifts had had kind of woken up when I was younger. And then, you know, I kind of put them on the back burner and kind of, you know, went, you know, straight and narrow path. And then I went through a very, very, very painful and traumatic period in my life. And that's how I feel for most of us, our spiritual gifts wake up. You know, they we we go through a very painful, very traumatic, whether it's an emotionally traumatic or a physically traumatic event in our lives. Some people even report having near-death experiences in order to awaken their spiritual gifts. And that's when our spiritual gifts come online. So for me, it happened very suddenly where they came back online. And when they came back online, it was like they were so intensified from what I remember when I was younger. Like they were like, I was like, whoa. I was like constantly receiving messages. I didn't know what was right, what was truth from what was, you know, my imagination. It was like constant information, constant download, constant visualizations, constant images coming through, messages and dreams. Like it was just this influx of healing, of guidance, of information, of of just this energy, and it all started around 2012, 2011, 2012, around there. And you know, it didn't it it it it intensified very quickly, and it it almost got worse before it got better. Because for anybody who's been through it, you know, you go through a lot of healing and clearing as you're going through this experience, right? Because there's a lot of things, a lot of fears, a lot of limbing beliefs that cannot come with you when you're having this type of an experience, right? Because it could really like muck with the energy. So, you know, I'm going through all this, I'm going through this huge evolution, and then I get the pull. Okay, now it's time to share it. Like now you're at the place where it's time for you to start sharing your spiritual gifts with the world. I had huge resistance to this. I still to this day think that there's some lingering resistance there, and I'm not sure where it comes from, to be quite honest. But I do know, you know, like I said, there were so many, there were so many reasons for me not to feel safe putting my spiritual gifts out there to be seen, right? For starters, you know, I always thought, you know, everyone at my work would see me, my co-workers, my bosses, my peers, potential future bosses would see me online, you know, going from this person who was, for the most part, logical thinker, practical thinker, you know, on, like I said, like very much on that straight and narrow to, you know, suddenly, I don't know, doing healing meditations with crystals and pulling tarot and oracle cards. And it's like, who even am I anymore if I'm not that person that I've I've gotten so used to being for so long that that you know that that your typical, you know, a type, not a type. I wouldn't say I was a-type. I was want to be a-type, I think, but very practical, very strategic thinker, very logical, very like on the right path, very, you know, programmed life, five-year plan, ten-year plan, thinking of the future, say like just everything that this life teaches us we should be and we should do. I was checking all the boxes. Okay. And so for me to go from that to now this airy fairy person who keeps tarot cards and oracle cards on her table at all times was a huge leap from who I was. Huge. Even my friends, like, you know, I, you know, there were I was always, you know, the practical one, the logical one. And then now they come over to my house and you know, they we we have pizza and and drinks, and they have to, they have to literally move the tarot and the oracle cards and the healing stones out of the way to make room for their plate. You know, this is not who I was my whole life, right? My idea of spirituality was going to church every, like, you know, on the high holidays and saying a prayer every now and then. It certainly didn't involve sage oracle cards, tarot, and crystals. And it certainly didn't involve reading energy or tuning into higher wisdom or higher guidance. Like that wasn't even a thing, you know? And so what people would think of me, especially like, you know, knowing who I was and how I showed up in the world to and the stark to contrast to that, that created a huge uh visibility block for me. I just, you know, I just imagined everybody and their mother finding my social feed and thinking, oh my god, this chick is crazy. Which brings me to my next point. I even thought, like, there was so much going on for me emotionally, mentally. There was so much like toxic patterns in my relationship that I was, you know, coming to the realization of, you know, especially in my romantic relationships, like, and you know, where I was so wildly codependent, wildly insecure, like total anxious attachment style, right? And how what all the ways that that presented in my relationships? And so recognizing that I had all these toxic patterns, who am I to now step up and now teach or share spiritual healing guidance and experiences that I'm moving through to other people as if I'm some like I haven't even healed my shit. Who am I to be out there helping people to heal their shit? You know what I mean? That was a huge thing for me, right? Because I felt like by putting myself out there and letting myself be seen, now the whole world can see all the all the ways that I felt I was like fucked up at the time, you know? And that did, that came a lot from my conditioning and a lot from, you know, you know, just feeling insecure and not good enough in myself. And, you know, all the ways I made all those patterns and cycles mean something about who I was and, you know, what my place was in the world and what I could and couldn't ask for, what was and was not okay in terms of visibility, right? So that was, you know, that was that was one of those things where it was like, if I put myself out there, everyone will see just how messy I am, just how like what a hot mess my life is, right? And also like this whole other layer of well, who is she to to teach anybody, considering how what a hot mess her life actually is, right? When I think back to all of it, and I'm just taking a pause. When I think back to all of it, and especially in that moment where I felt like I wasn't enough, and sorry guys, there's actually a message coming through right now, and I don't know if somebody needs to hear this, but that's why I'm pausing. Um if I could go back and and maybe you're that person right now who's feeling who am I to help other people with my gifts if my life is a hot mess right now. The person who I was then, even though my life was a hot mess, and even though I had a lot of things going on, she was moving through her awakening. She was taking the steps, she was finding the courage to trust, to put one foot in front of the other and allow whatever was unfolding to unfold for her. And if if it meant, you know, her being and sharing how she was moving through it in public, that was helping other people who didn't have like I was think of it as if we're moving through this, we're always 10 steps ahead of whoever it is that needs to hear what we're moving through, right? So, no, you might not be able to, and and I think this isn't sorry guys, this doesn't usually happen on the podcast. Give me one second as I as I tune in. If you're feeling this fear or uncertainty that where you're at right now isn't supportive or helpful to somebody else, so you don't know enough, you don't, you haven't figured it all out yet. So, how how can you possibly guide someone else? There is somebody else right now, there is a group of people right now who are 10 steps behind where you are and would give anything to know how you got to where you are today. So even though it seems insignificant to you, it would be remarkably helpful to somebody coming in the next wave. I don't know if we needed to hear that, but somebody needed to hear that. So, yeah. So, and and you know, going back to the point about, you know, what is everybody gonna think of you, you know what? When you're moving through this experience, not everybody's gonna come with you, not everybody's gonna follow, not everybody's gonna pick up what you're putting down, and that's okay. If you're being called, if you're if you're waking up to your spiritual gifts, if if there's a message on your heart that needs to be shared, if there's a healing that you want to share with the world, if there's a story or a path that you're on that you you think the world would benefit from, and you're being called to share it, there's a reason. There's a reason, and that's because, you know, and and maybe you don't, maybe the people that you're looking at that you're worried about, they're not your audience. And you know what? I can almost bet most of them will never actually see what you put out into the world because they are not, they're not your audience. They're not looking for that stuff. They're not even, it's not even on their radar. So you could probably like, you know, share whatever it is that's on your heart to share, and they probably wouldn't even notice. I can tell you right now, 99.9% of the people that I worked with in corporate had no idea what I was doing behind the scenes. No clue. Few people knew because they were my friends and I let them in on it, and and they were really respectful of my boundaries and they didn't like, you know, whatever. And, you know, and and and for the most part, nobody knew. And the few people who did know, it's because they needed it, and they found it helpful, even though, you know, they were low-key, kind of like high, you know, in the spiritual closet themselves. But, you know, behind the scenes, it was very helpful for them. So, you know, don't worry about the people in your life who you think, oh, they'll never resonate with what I have to say, they'll they'll think I'm crazy, they'll think, they'll think I'm, you know, they'll judge me for doing it. You know what? That's not who you're doing it for. And when I tell you, I don't know how or why, most of those people probably won't even see it. Most of those people probably won't even pay attention to it because it's just not on their radar, it's not what they're looking for. Their head is turned someplace else, their focus and attention is someplace else. By you sharing whatever it is on that's on your heart to share, you know, if you're coming out of the spiritual closet with your gifts, your intuition, your healing, your magic, whatever it is, right? It's because there is somebody out there that needs it. And and and those are the people you have to always keep imagining when you're speaking, right? This is one of the things that we do when we work together in the challenge. And if you've ever worked with me one-on-one, I always say, just, you know, tune into one person, one person only, who needs to hear what you have to say, who needs the medicine that only you have, and share yourself with them. And that's the only one that matters. And it's not just one, it's usually that that one usually represents tens, hundreds, maybe thousands of people. Who knows? Right. Sorry guys, my I think. I'm channeling today. And this is weird. I don't normally do this on the podcast, but I feel it was funny because I never I didn't plan to record today, but something told me record. And then I didn't really have a plan for what I was going to record today. And then this topic kind of came up. And then now it's like, so here it is. Here is spiritual gifts in raw, real, in the moment, allowing like this is it. This is what it's like. Like you don't plan it, you don't, you can't plan it, you can't orchestrate it, you can't strategize it, you can't nothing. Like it's it's one of those things where you just have to kind of you know go with the flow, and that's when when you know those opportunities are gonna make themselves available to you. Couple more things, and then we'll wrap it up. But when it comes to, and this was one of the biggest blocks, I think, for me, and I'm gonna share my perspective, and you know, I will encourage you to take what resonates, leave the rest. My entire life I had been brought up Orthodox Christian and intuitive gifts, channeling, any sort of divination or healing arts was anything but godly. And there was so much stigma and taboo associated with those things. And so for me, really embracing and stepping into and owning my spiritual gifts not only made me fear that my family would judge me, but it also made me fearful that I was doing something really bad, that's something that, you know, my life path taught me was wrong, that I shouldn't be doing, that, you know, there's no such thing as communication or energetic exchange with any good spirits. Like if anytime you're exchanging or communicating with a spirit or energy or entity or anything, it's never of a high vibration, like it's never of a love and high vibration. It's it's always something, it's always a darker entity or a darker energy that you're dealing with, otherwise it wouldn't be communicating with you. And that's, you know, those are the beliefs that we were brought up on, right? And those, that's what we were taught to believe. And so, and I actually had a fascination with divination, even from when I was a child. And I always had and harbored so much guilt for that. So much guilt. Like there was something wrong with me, like I was a bad person, like there was something evil inside of me that I didn't want to embrace, that I didn't want to look at, that it was, it was dark, it was shadowy, and I always kind of felt a guilt about that. And I always kind of felt like something was wrong with me, right? And it wasn't until much later that I started to question. Well, if God, you know, if God, the way I understood God, created me, why would he create me to be wrong? Why would he create me to be broken? Why would he create me to be something to hold something dark or evil inside of me that that, you know, that my religion told me shouldn't be there, right? So obviously, if I'm if I'm God's creation, I must be perfect. So everything that he created about me must be there for a reason, right? And so I started to to to open up to this possibility that this idea of what I was told was right or wrong maybe was distorted, right? And then that sent me down this whole other rabbit hole when I started to move through my spiritual experience and everything that was that I was learning and everything that I was discovering. And it's like, well, now this is all making so much more sense. And and slowly but surely, religion started to make less and less sense. And so I will say this, and again, please take this with a grain of salt, take what resonates, leave the rest. But what I started to come to the realization of was that spirituality is something that we're all capable of, like having a spiritual connection is something that we're all capable of. It's something that we're all hardwired for. I believe it's something that we were indoctrinated out of through religion, because in that we become such powerful beings. And let's be honest, right? Religion, as I started to move through this experience, started to look less and less like something that was of spiritual, like less and less of something that was empowering and more and more of something that was controlling. And now I'm starting to question everything that was taught to me in my upbringing, to the point where today I can safely say, I personally think that religion is nothing more than a human construct to keep us in a disempowered state. And that is something that I have proven to myself time and time and time again, because the more I lean into my own spiritual gifts, my own inner knowing, what feels true and aligned for me, and the more I tune into, well, how is that different from what I've been taught and what I was always taught growing up? The more the two are just incongruent. Like it just doesn't make any sense. Like I know we're powerful beings, I know we're powerful creators, and all the things that give us our superpowers are everything that religion tried to take away from us, so that we could be dependent on this other hierarchy to be safe, to be saved, to be guided, right? When all the while we had all of that capability within ourselves. So that is a, and you know, I know that's not going to resonate with everybody. And it's not to say that, listen, it's not to say that I don't believe in God, and I don't believe in, you know, I don't believe in in Jesus Christ. And I, you know, I believe in all those things, and I believe, I believe that God exists, and whether or not we call him God, I think is different for everyone. And I whether it's he, her, hit it, is it an energy? I don't know, right? I I I've learned to take everything that the Bible says with a grain of salt. I believe that there's a lot of truth in there, but I also believe that a lot of it has been taken out of context, translated in in ways that were convenient to whoever was translating it. Stuff was left out, other stuff was put in. It's, I mean, there's a lot. There's a lot to digest in there. So I, you know, we do, I do, I do believe that we don't know which is which is the what is the truth. So I I what I what I do believe is, and and this is this is just me sharing, you know, my beliefs about, you know, God and religion. I believe in God or I believe in universe, source, a creator, a energy that created it all, a higher, a higher intelligence. I believe in that. I believe that Jesus was a, I believe that Jesus was a almost like a spiritual healer who came and and basically showed us the power that was available through each and every one of us through this, through this energy of love, through this energy of source, through this energy of co-creation. I believe that he was a teacher, a guide, a healer, and who basically showed us time and time again not just how powerful he was, but all the power that we had within ourselves to be higher beings. And I believe everybody, like you know, everyone else's roles were kind of distorted and and and we were misled. So I do believe that all the stories that we heard in the Bible are to some degree true, but I think that they've been twisted and presented in ways to serve a patriarchal agenda that has been on the table now for centuries. And I don't believe that the way that the stories have been passed down from generation to generation are actually the way that they truly happened. And I don't believe that the images of who we see in the Bible, the stories that are told in the Bible, who they're being told about, the the people that we see in the Bible, that the stories were written about, I believe all of that has been distorted to create this hierarchical structure that keeps us in a disempowered state so that we always feel the need to turn to other institutions for guidance, for support in life and and and and and uh what's it called? For for for I can't find the words, guys. This is what happens when I channel. Sometimes it comes really messy. I'm gonna, I was gonna edit this out, but I'm gonna leave this in. But you you see what I'm trying to say, right? It's almost like giving our power away to this other institution to guide us, to show us the way to hold space, to feel supported, to feel like we're, oh, we're the connection, right? Like we have this connection to source. When that connection to source has always been within, right? But would there even, like, what power would the church have if we knew we could connect to source ourselves? Would there even be a church if we knew that we could connect to source ourselves? Probably not. And so that's why I think a lot of the times, like it, I came to the realization that the real the real reason why I felt guilty about my spiritual gifts is because I was indoctrinated into this belief that all these spiritual gifts were bad. And that's because it was intentionally presented to us that way, so that we can stay in a disempowered state, not trust our spiritual gifts and our intuition, so that we always, always have this institution to hold that power for us. So coming into my spiritual gifts, I started to realize actually, I don't need you because I have a direct connection to source. And that is the one thing that has changed everything for me. So, no, there is nothing bad or dark or evil about having spiritual gifts, about having an intuition, about having healing gifts. That is exactly what the world needs right now. That is exactly what the world needs. We need more intuitives, we need more guides, we need more teachers, we need more healers. There has, we've never needed them more than we do right now. And although, you know, many institutions are probably scrambling right now, trying to keep us from stepping into that power, from stepping into our gifts, it is our job, it is our moral obligation to ignore them and trust what is coming through us to be shared, to be created in the world. And, you know, that's also going to bring up a whole other fear, set of fears and doubts of well, do I even know enough? Do have I even, I haven't practiced healing. I haven't, I don't have any certifications, I don't, I don't know what I'm talking about. You do. If it's coming through you, you do. And because the reality is, and what I realize on my journey, and you'll know when I, if you go back and listen to the episode where I shared about my past life journey experience, we've been preparing for this for lifetimes. I believe that every soul alive here today that is present in this reality, in this time space reality that we find ourselves in, this very unique time space reality with so much going on in the world. I believe if you're alive today and you're here today, it's for a reason. And if you're if you're feeling the pull to share your healing and creative gifts with the world, your intuitive messages with the world, you have to trust that it's not coming out of left field. You do know enough to share what's coming through, and you have prepared for this. Whether or not it's in the traditional way that this world tells us that we should by having a certification or a diploma or whatever, right? It might not look that way, but if it's coming through you, you are equipped, you know enough, and you are exactly where you need to be to share those gifts. So that is it, you guys. That is it for this episode. Let me know what you resonate with, what you take away from this. Let me know in the comments below wherever you're finding this, or you can reply in the email if this came to you in your inbox. Please leave a positive rating and review on iTunes or Apple Spotify or wherever you're Apple Spotify. What the hell is Apple Spotify? On iTunes or Spotify, or wherever you're seeing this, you know what I'm trying to say, you guys. Until next time, massive love.