The Femme Cast | Visibility & Impact For The Unapologetic Woman
Welcome to The Femme Cast, the podcast for ambitious, soul-led, impact driven women, who are ready to unlock unapologetic visibility, amplify their voice, and attract clients, all while making the impact they are here to make.
I’m Maria Rei — The Femme Coach | Visibility Healer & Trauma Informed Coach, and Emotional Alchemist.
This show explores the emotional, energetic, and spiritual layers of becoming fully visible, the parts that strategy alone can’t reach.
Through storytelling, guidance, and embodied practices, I help you unlock your most authentic expression so your message lands, your audience resonates, and your impact grows.
You’ll also hear conversations with soul-led women boldly sharing their voice, influence, and wisdom — showing what it really looks like to make an impact in the world.
If you’re ready to step fully into visibility, amplify your voice, and create the results you’ve been dreaming of, this is your space.
The Femme Cast | Visibility & Impact For The Unapologetic Woman
The 5 Visibility Wounds That Are Silently Blocking Your Impact
Your message feels urgent.
Your heart knows it’s time.
And yet the moment you go to speak… your throat tightens, your mind spirals, and suddenly visibility feels dangerous.
If you’ve been questioning what to post, when to post, whether to acknowledge the moment, or whether staying silent is safer — this episode was made for you.
In this deeply honest and activating conversation here on The Femme Cast, we unpack the five core visibility wounds that silently shape how coaches, healers, and purpose-led creators show up online — especially during heavy, emotionally charged times. These wounds don’t just affect your content. They shape your confidence, your marketing, your nervous system, and your willingness to be fully seen.
We name them clearly, the wound of success, rejection, truth, judgment, and scarcity — and reveal how each one can either keep you frozen… or become a powerful initiatory gateway into deeper impact, resonance, and self-trust.
This episode was born from lived experience. From ghosting social media for two and a half years out of fear of saying the wrong thing… to choosing not to disappear again. From navigating the hybrid fear that success might cost belonging… to realizing that true alignment naturally clears relationships that can’t celebrate your expansion. From posting into silence and low engagement… to discovering that invisibility can become sacred cover for reclaiming intuition, voice, and unapologetic expression.
We explore:
🎤 Why global heaviness and collective grief can trigger creative paralysis — and how to stay embodied instead of reactive
🎤 How the fear of success is often a fear of losing love, safety, or belonging
🎤 Why low metrics don’t mean you’re failing — and how they can actually initiate you back into truth-led content
🎤 The difference between letting marketing lead your message vs. letting the message lead the strategy
🎤 How to speak your truth during charged moments without abandoning integrity, nuance, or compassion
🎤 The hidden ways judgment and perfectionism silence your voice — and the structures that support authentic expression
🎤 A grounded approach to scarcity that blends surrender with aligned action
This isn’t about chasing trends, perfect polish, or performative vulnerability.
It’s about self-trust over strategy, resonance over reach, and impact over approval.
Because the truth is:
Your visibility wounds are not flaws.
They are activators.
They are invitations into becoming the Unapologetic Woman who no longer waits for permission to speak — who understands that her voice is medicine, her presence is disruptive in the best way, and her message doesn’t need to be diluted to be safe.
When you allow the message to lead and the metrics to follow, something profound happens.
Your content stops performing… and starts transmitting.
Your audience stops consuming… and starts feeling.
And your impact expands in ways no algorithm could ever predict.
Ready to get visible AF in 2026?
Join the free 90-min Unapologetic Visibility Masterclass and discover the hidden blocks keeping your message, gifts, and impact from being fully seen: https://thefemmecast.kit.com/visibilitymasterclass
Ready for a massive visibility breakthrough?
Claim your spot in the Unapologetic Visibility Breakthrough. A 5-day coaching intensive designed for women ready to be fully seen, heard, and paid for their voice: https://www.thefemmecast.com/breakthrough
Hey guys, what is up? Welcome back to the show. I am so excited and grateful to have you guys here. Welcome if you're new. This is a very interesting time to be creating content, you guys. Like with everything going on in the world and all the emotion that I'm feeling, and I'm sure you're probably feeling as we like bear witness to everything that's going on. It can, it is so heavy and it can kind of put you in the spin of not knowing what to post, when to post, if you should post, should you acknowledge the moment, should you not acknowledge? Should you keep going? Do you feel like you so many, so many, so many things. And I can tell you that right now in this moment, and I just I just literally did a post about this. I haven't posted it yet, but I literally just created a post about this where it's like, you know, I can't speak for everybody, but for me, in terms of like my visibility stuff, I've been here before. I I've been in this situation before, and it was too, it was in 2020 when I literally ghosted social media for two and a half effing years, like because I was so in my head and I was so anxious, and the moment were so tumultuous, and there was so much anger and grief that I was terrified to say the wrong thing. And every time I tried to think of like exactly what I said, every time I tried to think of what I say, is this the right thing to say? Is this the wrong thing to say? Am I gonna hurt somebody? Am I gonna make somebody angry? Am I gonna seem insensitive? Am I gonna seem too negative? Like the the amount of mental anguish that it put me in because I just didn't want to say the wrong thing and hurt somebody or make somebody angry or be called be insensitive to what other people were going through, make it about me, like so many things. So many things were going through my head at the time, and I completely ghosted social media for two and a half years. So we're not doing that again this time, okay? We're just not, I'm not available for that. But I do want to take this moment to kind of talk about, like, you know, the five core visibility wounds, and we taught, we go into this so much deeper in the masterclass. So if you haven't signed up for that, it's totally free. It's in the show notes below. Go ahead and do that now or when we're done. But I kind of wanted to go in a little bit because it did. It like I felt my visibility wounds come back again with in the moment that we're in right now. And I was kind, I was almost finding myself going down that same mental spiral that I did back then. And I'm like, well, geez, like like we've dealt with this. And it's like, you know what? This was an opportunity. This was where I really clearly saw my visibility pattern. I was like, okay, you know what? We're gonna do shit different this time, and this is how we're gonna do it different. And I'm actually going to create another episode about that as well. Probably today. I'll probably do these guys back to back. So depending on when you see them. But what I wanted to kind of talk about was the five core visibility wounds. And again, we go into these deeper in the masterclass. So in the masterclass, we talk about what they are, how they show up. We give you a little activation to kind of shift through them. We give you an exercise to help you identify energetically which ones are kind of impeding on your visibility, and then we give you another activation that you can kind of do before you post. So lots of good stuff in that masterclass. It's totally free. The link is in the show notes. Let's dive in. Okay. So the first one was a favorite for me. And these are the five core that I've seen with everybody. And now let me just preface all of this by saying these are the five core wounds. Okay. You can have just one, you can have a combination, you can have all. Sometimes there's even hybrids, okay? And so it gets, you can see like how it could get very complex. But as far as I've seen, like in myself and in other people that I've worked with, it always comes down to these five core. And why have I chosen these five? Because I feel like they can't be broken down any further. Like these are, you know, every other, every other, and there has been other blocks that I've come up against, and me personally and my clients, but they've always broken down to one or more of these. Okay. So hopefully that makes sense. And I'll kind of explain. Gosh, this is gonna be probably a lot. I'm gonna try and keep this as brief as I possibly can. Okay, let's dive in. Fear of success. So this is when you're afraid that, you know, being successful means it's gonna be a lot of work. You're gonna get overwhelmed. You're gonna have to to to to do a lot. It's gonna take a lot of mental, emotional, physical energy to manage that. It's gonna be a lot of uh maybe unwanted attention, maybe a lot of unwanted or heavy responsibility. So, you know, when we have the fear of success kind of working behind the scenes, it can often sabotage our visibility because we know that, you know, if we create something, you know, we put something out into the world and suddenly it gets a shit ton of attention, suddenly we have to like own up to that, suddenly we have to be responsible for that. Suddenly we have to manage everyone's expectations around that, you know? And I think for me, you know, I actually don't think I had the fear of success per se. I mean, I did, I mean, I think I always fundamentally had a belief. Actually, let me rephrase that. I always fundamentally had a belief that, you know, successful people have to work hard for their wealth. Successful people have to work hard to be successful. Like it doesn't come, nobody hands it to them, you know? It doesn't come easy. It comes with a lot of sacrifice, it comes with a lot of time and energy. And so for me, being successful was definitely equated to having less time, less freedom, less ease, less slow, and a lot, a lot of hard work. And so I don't know if it actually impacted my visibility for me. I have seen it where it impacts other people, though. I have had clients go through this. I had a client who was terrified to put out Facebook ads, even though she knew that was kind of the next step for her in her business. And she knew that it would get her the visibility and the freedom that she was craving so much. But deep down she was afraid to run those ads because it meant it was going to be a lot more work managing for her and managing the ads and doing the the like putting everything in place, like the strategic stuff, right? The detailed stuff, the administrative stuff that was overwhelming her because she was very overwhelmed by administrative details. So she assumed that by doing that, it was going to overwhelm the bejeezes out of her. And so she kept putting off putting these ads together, which she knew she wanted to do, right? And she knew was the next line thing. There was also some other fears that I'll I'll mention as we as we get into it. But for me, this showed up different. For me, this showed up as a hybrid. Okay. So for me, the fear of success put me in a position where I might be attacked or judged harshly for it because I was afraid that if I was successful, people would, what's it called? People would be angry at me for it. People would resent me for it. People would be envious or jealous and almost want to see me, like it's almost like this energy, like this this nasty envy energy of wanting to see me fail or being angry at me or taking away love because I was more successful than they were. So that was kind of a hybrid, right? So we haven't talked about the fear of judgment yet, but that's the other one, right? So it was a combination of the fear of success and the fear of judgment, where it was terrifying to me because it felt like literally like people that I loved, people that I counted on, people that, you know, I considered a very important part of my life, whether they were, you know, close friends or whether they were, you know, people that I worked with or whatever. There was this fear, intense, intense fear that if I were to be really successful, that they wouldn't, that they wouldn't love me, that they wouldn't be there for me. And if anything, they would probably like attack, not attack me for it, but you know, make me feel bad for it or make me feel kind of like I like who dare I to do these things? And who who am I, who dare I am at to be successful? And I think that came from, you know, growing up, I always kind of, you know, I always kind of attracted these very narcissistic relationships, and that became the you know, that was that was a byproduct of me being a people pleaser, right? And being unfortunately very codependent and attached. So that did bring a lot of narcissistic type personalities into my world. And, you know, unfortunately, you know, especially when it came to relationships and friendships, you know, and I think the the the deeper wound here was kind of the sister wound. When it came to friendships, I didn't know what it was like to be in a friendship where people wanted the best for you. You know, I didn't know what it was like to be in a friendship where people celebrated when you did well. I didn't know what it was like to be in a friendship where people didn't try and tear you down or be or come up with some backhanded excuse as to why you became as successful as you did. And I had this happen to me again and again, right? So it was a reflection of my belief, it was a reflection of my conditioning, and it was a you know something that I was you know conscious of, you know, that was running in the background. And so for me, success meant, you know, the people that I that I love and and I have a relationship with and who I count on for companionship, for fun, for laughter, for support, for camaraderie, they might not be there if I'm successful. So I'd be alone, you know? And that was that was that was that was that was where you know it was really frightening for me. And I I when I started to see the pattern, it became very hard to unsee it. And I started to see how it was showing up in a lot of my relationships. It's definitely changed the way I choose the types of relationships I keep in my life, let me tell you. You know, and so and I and I I you know I kind of came to the realization where thank God, you know, if these relationships were really worth keeping, if they if they were really, number one, it was probably all in my head, right? You know, it was probably something that I'd made up because of my own conditioning, because of my own fear of standing out, because I had I had had experiences like this before, right? And so I was kind of applying that story to all my relationships. So there was this acknowledgement that, hey, maybe it's not true this time around. Maybe I'm just like projecting, you know, my past story onto this present relationship. And then when my certain relationships started to reveal that, oh no, no, this is not all in my head. This is actually happening. I kindly let those relationships go. And I, you know, I just, you know, where I would have once felt sad or tried to make it work or or tried to earn my like try to, what's the word I'm looking for? Try and basically apologize for my success to earn my way back into their good graces and to and to and to feel loved and accepted by them again. I said, fuck it. If you were my friends, you'd be happy for me. Bye. Like it was it became very simple for me because I know that, you know, for anyone in my life, if they're going through a good time, if things are working out well for them, if they're, you know, they're successful, they found the the the the they finally got the career they wanted, the promotion they wanted, the relationship they wanted, you know, they're they're making the money that they want to be making, whatever it is, the successful business. I'm always like over the moon, fucking excited for them. And I just have gotten to the point where I just don't accept anything less now from my relationships. I just don't, I'm not available for it. And so that's how that kind of showed up. And but, you know, having said that, there was still this underlying narrative of don't be too successful or people aren't gonna like you. Right. So I really had to like move through that and allow myself to recognize that, you know, the right relationships would in fact be excited for me. The right relationships would celebrate my success. The right relationships would be like, oh my God, it's about fucking time, you know? And anything less than that was not something really that I needed to worry about, you know? The other one was the fear of rejection. So I've seen this a lot. I had it myself. And that is that you're afraid that you're gonna put out content out there and no one's gonna do anything, or whatever it is that you're doing. For me, it's content, right? Or, or my, my, my, my coaching and my healing, whatever it is that you're creating, whatever it is that you're putting out into the world to make an impact with it, right? You're always just afraid that no one's even gonna notice, no one's gonna care, no one's gonna look at it, no one's gonna pick it up, no one's gonna buy it, no one's gonna read it, no one's gonna listen to it. It's like, who am I to do this, right? Why would anybody listen to me? Why would anybody look at what I've created or listen to what I had to say or, you know, whatever it is that the story is, right? There's this fear that everybody's gonna be like, no, why why would I why would I waste my time with that? Right? We we go into the story in our head of thinking, you know, a lot of it comes down to like, we're not good enough. Who am I to do that? You know, a lot of imposter syndrome is wrapped up in here. A lot of, yeah, like they'll they'll one day, like if if God forbid, if they look at me one day, they'll see that I'm full of shit, right? It's like, yeah, there it's it's it's really at the end of the day, you know, for me, kind of came down to, and I, and I I know because again, this is also a hybrid, and that's why I'm kind of having a hard time articulating this, tied back into the fear of judgment. But, you know, when I started putting content out into the world, right? There was there was a long period, and even the last little while, there was a long period where no one was fucking listening. Like what I mean, it felt that way, right? It felt like nobody was listening, right? It felt like the only people that were really listening or commenting or engaging, not even commenting, just engaging, were my friends and family, God bless them. And they really weren't my like the person I was trying to speak to, right? So it's and and it really brought up this fear that, you know, nobody's looking, nobody cares what I have to say, nobody cares what I have to offer. You know, it's not good enough. It's not, you know, it doesn't compare to to ever, oh, that was the other one, comparison syndrome. It doesn't compare to what everybody else is putting out there, you know. So it just amounts to this whole thing about feeling small and feeling invincible and feeling unchosen, right? I guess that's the best way to describe it. This whole fear that you're not gonna be the person the one who's chosen. You're not gonna be the one who people turn to, who who, you know, watch, who listen to your stories, who watch your content, who who who read your books, who read your articles, who who pick up your art or whatever, right? You just kind of feel like, you know, no one's gonna, you're just not. And this came up for me a lot in the beginning, and even in the last few years, when I felt like, you know, when I was kind of going through the shift of my content, I felt like fuck, like nobody's listening to what I'm like putting out. Like it just feels like I just keep creating content, content after content after content, and nobody's nobody's just paying attention to me. And I think, and and I'll be honest, like, I mean, a lot of this does come down to a fear of not being chosen or of, you know, obviously of of being rejected, right? But but it was an interesting realization when I looked at this, you know, fear of being rejected and fear that you know nobody was really paying attention. And I realized that this season that I was in, especially like I didn't notice it the first time, but I noticed it the last time. This fear of being invincible, this fear of rejection, right? And feeling invincible when I was posting online, it almost became a rite of passage. Like it actually healed me in ways. Being being on posting online and not being seen and not being visible and feeling that that that intense feeling of rejection actually became one of the most healing experiences for me in terms of my visibility, because what ended up happening in this season was I said, okay, nobody's really paying attention, like nobody's listening to what I have to say, nobody's really commenting, nobody's really fucking engaging. And so what ended up happening is instead of instead of making the decision to stop posting or to stop creating content, I said, okay, well, fuck it. If people like, because I there was a part of me that was kind of altering my message to to, you know, put out what I thought, put it out in a way that I thought people would resonate more with, or, you know, people would, you know, it was more marketable, it was more, you know, what's it called? SEO driven, you know, things like that. We get into our marketing head, right? Especially as an entrepreneur. And there's, there's nothing wrong with that. There's a time and a place for that, right? But I was, I feel like I was kind of letting it guide the message instead of letting the message be the message and allowing all that marketing stuff to support the message, right? Not to say that I was lying, but I think, you know, when it came right down to it, I wasn't dropping in to my body to share the message that was truly like authentically the way it was in my heart to share and allowing that to be enough and then, you know, figuring out the other parts later. So I said, okay, well, you know, here I am. I'm in this season of nobody's really paying attention. I'm feeling guided to still create content. So I'm gonna still keep putting out content. So in that period, right, in that season of feeling completely fucking invincible and totally fucking rejected, I was able to really tap back into what it is that I want to share with the world and and and tap into that process of checking in with my heart and getting into my body and my heart and my soul and really translating a message or express or sharing a message that is coming through me versus constantly trying to analyze and think. And what ended up happening in that process is I got back in touch with my intuition, which for the longest time I had shut down. And I started to share the message that it was truly on my heart and soul to share. And then that's when the visibility started to kick in. But oddly enough, I was okay not having the metrics, not having the likes, not having the comments, because I know it didn't really mean anything. It was just, you know, these things are vanity metrics. They come and go. Some days they're hot, some days they're not. And that's just the way the cookie crumbles, right? It didn't, it didn't bring me down anymore. It didn't make me question myself anymore. And it certainly didn't what's it called? It certainly didn't steer the message that I was going to share anymore. And I think that was the biggest and most profound gift in all of that. So I do. Believe that sometimes going through this period of feeling invincible, at least for me, at least you're if you're somebody who's a people pleaser, who is constantly, constantly like just sort of like adjusting yourself to be like the version that you think everyone's gonna love, like, and accept and listen to, then this is something that you're probably gonna have to go through because you need to break from all of that behavior. You need to break from all of that, those micro adjustments that you make to yourself to please and get approval from everyone else around you, because the person who's here, like the person that you are beyond all of that, at the core, fundamentally, that's the person that you need to be when you're creating, because that's who you were created to be. And that's that is literally by divine design, you like if you have a purpose on your heart, the purpose that you were the person that you were created to be is the exact person that you need to be in order to fulfill that purpose. Does that make sense? Right? And so all these little micro adjustments that we make to ourselves to get approval, to get love, to get acceptance, they actually deter us from the exact thing that we came here to be and do in the world. And so that's why that becomes so, so, so important, right, when we're doing this work. And that's why I think, you know, if you resonate with being a people pleaser, you're almost guaranteed to go through that phase, unfortunately. But on the other side, it is actually one of the most healing experiences you can have. Number three, fear of speaking your truth. And this is the one that has been coming up for a lot for me lately. And this is the fear that kind of had me go social media for two and a half years. When I think back to 2020, like the tensions were high, the emotions were high. There was so much immense anger and grief in the world. And I was just so terrified to say the wrong thing. I was afraid to piss off all kinds of people, right? To, to, to, to piss off the people who were struggling, who were suffering. I didn't want to be insensitive to what they were going through. I didn't want to like further anger the people who were already angry. I didn't want to say something that, you know, people in my community and other spiritual healers and teachers would be like would frown upon. There was just so many things that were like keeping me like, like putting me in a fond response, right? Where I wasn't saying anything at all. And it got it got so stressful, and I got so much in my head, and I became so dysregulated by all of it. I literally stopped posting on social media for two and a half years. I still kept posting on my podcast, right? That that continued not as consistently, but it continued. And it wasn't until two and a half years later, so like I don't know, 2023-ish, 2022, 2023, somewhere around there where I started posting again, right? And even then it felt really awkward and uncomfortable. And it took me a while to really get comfortable. And now it's gotten to the point where I actually do really very much enjoy posting on social media. And it's one thing that I love. And you know, I love to create content and I love to share what's, you know, going on in my heart and my mind and what I'm moving through in the world. And, you know, whether it people pick it up or not, you know, that's my art. I create it, I share it, and so be it, right? But the fear of speaking your truth came up again with everything going on in the world today. And again, you know, very high stakes, very emotions are heightened, anger is heightened, grief is heightened, you know, stakes are higher. It's scary. It's scary to say the wrong thing. And and and I think for me, and we're gonna be talking about this, I think, in the next episode, right? We're gonna hone in on this, I think. I think, you know, if I wanted to say one thing just right now, very briefly, just to kind of touch on this, and this is kind of what we talk about in the masterclass as well. We have to learn to trust the message that is on our heart to share. No, it's not gonna be for everybody. No, not everyone's gonna like it, especially in times like this when temperatures are so high, right? The volume is just so high on everything that we're feeling and moving through and experiencing. And it's just so intense for so many people. And so many people are. I'm I'm fortunate. I am very fortunate. I am a very, I am a very, I'm sitting in a very good position where I don't have to actually experience knock wood any of what's going on in the world firsthand. I'm only witnessing what other people are moving through. And that puts me in a very fortunate position. And I don't want to waste that fortunate position that I am in. You know, maybe I can't speak to what's happening on the ground, and maybe I can't speak to the facts and what people are really seeing and experiencing. You know, that's for other people to share. But maybe I can support people who are moving through it, or maybe I can offer a perspective, or maybe I can just give permission to people to feel something, right? Whether they're in it or whether they're observing it, right? I think it's I think it's different for everybody. And so I think that, you know, what I learned from all of this, right, is that if there's a message on your heart to share, it's because somebody out there in the world needs to hear it. And even though, yeah, it might be uncomfortable and, you know, maybe some people might be offended by what you say, you know, if you say things with the highest intention in your heart, I don't believe you can do wrong. And I believe that, you know, that fear of speaking your truth, you know, it's it it really just starts to just, oh, when I think of like all the stuff that I, you know, accumulated where it starts to feel like a kind of bottlenecks in your throat, and you start to feel like every time you start to say something. I I know I've had this experience, I had it recently actually, where I started to like, I'm like, okay, I need to write something about this. I need to create a post. I started to create a post, and in that post, I'm talking about five different, I'm like, this is five posts, not one, right? Because everything is fighting. Like it's like an army of ideas, of thoughts, of inspirations, of messages kind of coming to the me, me, me, me, me. Right. And everybody wants to be like written and expressed all at the same time. So it, it, it, it, when I tell you that it blocks your energy in so many ways, so far beyond visibility. In human design, we're taught that you manifest through your throat chakra and through speaking your truth and so, or expressing your truth or your art in some way, your message. So when we block that, we block so many, so many amazing things. But all that being said, and again, we're gonna dive more into that in the next one, because I think I really just want to hone in on this particular thing. All that's to say, you know, if there is a message on your heart that you're here to share, if you can, you know, just imagine sharing that from the highest place of love and intention, you really can't go wrong. Like, you really can't. Like, what's the worst that could possibly happen? The worst that can happen is, you know, maybe somebody takes what you're saying the wrong way or takes you the wrong way, and that's not really your problem, you know. That's that's if you're saying something with the highest love and intention, you know, we kind of have to trust that. So this is where self-trust is so important, right? Because we're not, I never, and this is the big shift I think that I made that helped me to do this so much more easily. I started to realize that the messages weren't messages that I was thinking in my mind. Those were the messages that weren't landing. The real messages that were coming through were coming from someplace else, whether they were divinely guided, wherever they were downloads, you know, people love to use that term all the time, or there were they were downloads, activations, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, whatever spiritual woo-woo term you want to give it, they were coming through me. And so if the message is coming through you, if you can tap into that power where you realize the messages, the creativity, the art, the expression isn't something that you are mentally designing. It is coming through you. You are just the channel, you are just the tool in which these messages, these arts, these creativities get expressed. When you can tune into that, you have to trust what's coming through you. You have to. And you can trust that if it's being divinely guided, that it's coming through for a reason. You know, I don't believe the universe makes mistakes at all. So that's where I kind of got back to my to my roots with, you know, and my art, with channeling more and trusting myself more. And, you know, I started to, you know, when I even when I did podcasts, I used to have like, I've I've said this before, like I used to have almost the whole thing scripted. And then I went to, okay, I'll have the intro scripted and the outro scripted, and then I'll just have bullets for in between. And then I just went to like simple bullets, and then I went to just now I'm like at one title. Title here, talk about this. Okay, go, you know, and I just, I just keep leaning into and trusting what's coming through. Because the more I was creating messages in my head, the more I was fucking it up, the more I just trusted what was wanting to come through me and what my heart was wanting to say in that moment, the more the message just started to resonate. Okay. So again, it comes back to trust. I do have notes for the five different wounds today, just FYI. Fear of judgment. So again, I told you I had a hybrid of this with the fear of success. But and and I also had this on its own. Like it wasn't just the fear that I would be successful and people would be mad at me and people would hate me for it, and people would put me down for it or, you know, unfriend me for it. But there was also the fear of judgment of, oh my God, look how much weight she's put on. Oh my God, look, she's looking older these days. Wow. Oh my God, look, she's struggling financially again. Like, like I was just so afraid of all the judgments that people were going to be making up about me when I wasn't even in the room. Right? I could see my ex literally scrolling through his feed, coming across my post, going, oh my God, making fun of me, laughing at me. Who is she to talk about that? Who do the house does she think she is? What is she wearing? She totally let herself go, like compared to what she was before. Like I had all of this running through my head every time I posted something. And, you know, at first I would let it, you know, kind of spiral, like I would spiral into this, you know, perfectionism where I had to look perfect, my content had to be perfect, my backdrop had to be perfect, the editing had to be perfect, which I'm still pretty anal about my editing, I'm not gonna lie. That's the Taurus in me. Okay, I love to create a beautiful feed. But, you know, it it it it became it became obsessive and it became to the it got to the point where if everything wasn't perfect, I wouldn't post. I would delete it, or I would over-edit it for hours to the point where I just got so exhausted I would just put like, fuck it, I can't do this. I'm like, you know, I'm done, not doing it, right? And it would be so edited, so heavily processed, so perfected that it literally like it killed any magic. It killed any of the authenticity or the the real authentic message or creativity that was wanting to be come through and be expressed, right? And so the way I did that, I don't even know how I did that, to be quite honest with you. I think a lot of it for me, I'll be honest, came down to a lot of self-love work. I think the self-love work came before, and then, you know, breaking that cycle of, you know, that fear of judgment as a visibility wound came after. And, you know, as I started to love and accept myself more and and and started to just allow myself to be a little messy, you know, be a little imperfect and not constantly put myself down for it from for it or compare myself to other people who look different, who talk different, who sounded different, who had a different life, who, who, who were in different circumstances than I was. I just let, I just stopped paying attention to all of that. And I, again, just trusted the message that was on my heart to share and trusted that, you know, if it was coming through for me to share it now in this moment, it's because who I am right now, no matter how overweight I think I might be, no matter how much of a hot mess I think my life might be, I just trusted that if that message was coming through, it's because it was meant to be shared in that moment. And yeah, you know what? It was a little uncomfortable at first, you know. It was a little unnerving. I still I still struggled to to really just just fully relax into it. And it was a while before, you know, like if, you know, you saw in the recent challenge if where I could just, you know, kind of post to a story without a lot of planning or or what's it called, perfecting, I guess, in the background, where I could just kind of turn the record button on and just start sharing a message, like very impromptu without a whole lot of planning or setup. That took a long time. That took a long time. And even still, like when I create content, like, you know, when I sit down to do a podcast, I, you know, I've kind of I've kind of devoted time in my calendar for that. You know, it's usually on my Sundays when I'm pretty chill, you know. It it's still not completely like moment to moment because I do like to have some structure and it helps me because if I don't have some structure, then it doesn't happen, right? So I have to have some structure. And when I know that I'm gonna be recording, yeah, maybe I will spend an extra few minutes getting ready that day or whatever, but it's not, it's not obsessive. And that doesn't mean that if I get the urge to create something on another day when things are a little bit more chaotic or hectic, or you know, maybe my makeup isn't done as as well, or you know, my hair is a hot mess, I'll still create it. You know, I won't stop myself from creating it, if that makes sense. But a lot of that came with leaning into the discomfort of letting things be not so perfect, right? Leaning into the discomfort of, yeah, okay, maybe I don't, I don't feel as good about myself right now as I did maybe a year ago or 10 years ago, right? But you know what? That's okay. I can be there and still share. And and over time that got a lot easier for me. Lastly, this one was so important. The fear of lack or scarcity. So somebody who has a ton of trauma when it comes to like early childhood trauma when it comes to like money, this was a huge one for me. And if I'm being completely honest, it is one that I continue to move through today. Okay. For me, lack and scarcity has been something that I've been working through time and time again. And that is because, you know, some of the stories, you know, that we tell ourselves that we're not gonna be okay, that, you know, we we we we absolutely need, you know, find, you know, money to survive. And it's it's literally tied to survival in so many ways. And and that is for the most part true. Like we we do need money to survive in this world, unfortunately. And, you know, coming from some of the experiences that I had, I could see where very quickly survival was threatened when there was a lack of money. And so for me, this is a very visceral, very active fear still, right? But what I have been doing, and what has been shifting, and it's been a slow process, it has been a very slow process, but what has been shifting, and it's funny because I'm coming up to I'm I'm coming up to another cycle of this breaking this pattern, this cycle. And every time it gets just a little bit harder. But what I've been doing every time, and I can note three times in the last like 10 years where this has come up again and again, and every time it gets a little bit more, it gets scarier, but it also the impacts on the other side become incredible, like incredible shifts that happen very quickly. And it's always come down to this. I do believe, and I would love to bring someone who can speak more to this on the show. So I'm gonna see if I can reach out to my network and see if I can find somebody who can speak to this. But I really do believe that we're breaking up with this, you know, we're moving through a time and space in the collective consciousness where I think we are breaking this mindset where we've attached money and wealth to hard work. I believe that, you know, the path to wealth is actually, yes, there's action, yes, there's work. Don't get me wrong. I'm not gonna say that we're gonna get paid for sitting on the couch and eating grapes and being fanned. But it was like I lost my train of thought. You know, I'm not gonna say that, you know, we're gonna be earning a living, laying on the sofa, filing our nails, and eating engraves. That's not what we're talking about. But what we are talking about, I believe, is that, you know, wealth is the thing or or or or or abundance is a thing that comes through surrender and flow. Like when we can trust that we are being guided, that we are being led, and as we follow our intuition, the the resources, all the resources that we need will show up for us in divine timing. So it comes down to a lot of trust in the unseen, a lot of surrendering to the unseen, right? And having faith in all of that, that it's all gonna work out. This is the third time I've had to go through this. Every time it gets a little bit more intense, but every time it reinforces that belief, right? So the last time I went through this, I was literally in like rock bottom. That was right around the time that I ghosted my social media, by the way. It was rock bottom, ghosted social media, went back to work full-time and completely immersed myself in that. And I literally, like, I can't tell you how quickly I expanded my income in that role in ways that made no sense. I went from working part-time to literally a leadership role overnight. And when I finally stepped into my power and my confidence in that role, boom, there it was, yanked right out of my experience. No, we had to like, you know, they had to like cut down, a whole bunch of people got let go. I was one of them. End of end of end of that chapter, beginning of another one. And so now I'm kind of leaning into that again. And it's like, okay, well, what, you know, I did remember that position coming up when I had surrendered fully. And like, okay, well, you know, that's coming up again. How can I surrender more fully? How can I have more trust? How can I have more faith that everything is working out better than I could have ever imagined? Right. And that's always the affirmation that I bring myself back to. Everything is working out so much better than I ever thought was possible. And just Continuing to trust with that as the fear comes up. And I've noticed a lot less fear this time around than the last time, a lot less anxiety. I have a lot more faith because that time proved to me that this worked. So I'm leaning into that just a little bit more. I think the only thing that I would probably do differently this time around is obviously not ghost my social media for two and a half years and see what happens there. So it's so funny how I'm kind of like in the same standing at that same precipice that I kind of was two and a half years ago or five years, no, five years ago, here I am now, right? So it's definitely a cycle. I'm paying attention to what I did last time that worked, and I'm also paying very close attention to what happened, what I did last time that didn't, and trying to apply those changes. So hopefully this is the last time I go through this lesson, you guys. You can be witness to this. I will let you know how it turns out. But I do believe that everything is going to be okay. I do believe that, you know, in the end, you know, the solution is going to, you know, divine solution is going to make itself known. You know, whether it's, you know, switching to, you know, I've always kind of done the business kind of part-time and then worked on alongside. Maybe it's time to do this full-time. Who knows? Maybe it is still time to, maybe, maybe I will still do it part-time. I don't know. At this point, I'm literally, again, trusting what's coming through from moment to moment, trusting the guidance, trusting where I'm being led, and trusting that everything is going to be okay, and literally surrendering, surrendering the rest to a higher power, whether you want to surrender it to source, God, creator, whatever you resonate with, universe. And that's that. And so TPD on the outcome, I will let you guys know. You will be the first to know, I promise. So those that's that's basically the five core wounds. And again, you know, you can have any combination of these. Maybe to have one, maybe you have more than one, maybe you have a couple of hybrids in there, either way. I do believe that, you know, when we're talking about core wounding, yes, it could be your biggest block, of course. Of course, it could be your biggest block, your biggest fear, your biggest challenge to overcome. But once you overcome it, it's also your most powerful activator into the purpose that you're here to fulfill and the impact that you're here to make in the world. So don't, I repeat, do not shy away from this work. It is so powerful. And it's literally, it's literally your obligation to look at which one of these are holding you back and how and how you can start to move through them. Because the world needs your gifts, you guys. If you're here to make an impact in the world with a message, with your gifts, with your healing, with your art, whatever it is, you have a divine obligation to move through these blocks. So go ahead, check out the masterclass. The details are in the show notes. Let me know if you love this episode. Please leave a positive rating or review on iTunes or Spotify or wherever you're seeing this. Of course, I love to hear from you guys. So let me know what resonates, what you take away. You can reply to the email if you got this in email, or you can send me a DM at the Femcast on Instagram. Until next time, you guys, massive love.
