The Femme Cast
Welcome to The Femme Cast—the podcast for women who are truly ready to break free from toxic relationship cycles, choose themselves, and become a magnet for the love they deserve.
I’m Maria — Master Energy Healer, Radical Self-Love Leader, and Relationship Mentor.
I work with the women who are cycle breakers, grid shakers, and truth layers — the brave souls who came here to dismantle the inherited beliefs that told them they had to chase love, prove their worth, and beg to be chosen.
I help them break free from the karmic cycles and generational patterns that keep them stuck in toxic relationships and self-abandonment — so they can unapologetically choose themselves, reclaim their inherent worth, and become magnetic to soul-aligned love, expansive opportunities, and the liberated life they were born to lead.
Without ever shrinking, settling, or self-abandoning again.
I’ve been where you are, stuck in cycles of chasing love, begging to be chosen, and abandoning myself again and again in the name of love. But I turned my pain into purpose, and now I’m here to help you do the same.
Each week, I share personal stories, actionable insights, and a blend of spiritual and practical tools to help you heal from past wounds, reclaim your self-worth, and rewrite your love story. You’ll hear everything from vulnerable truths about my own journey to breaking toxic patterns to empowering lessons that will guide you toward creating the healthy, loving relationships you crave.
Join me as we say goodbye to self-abandonment, people-pleasing, and unhealthy dynamics, and hello to radical self-love, emotional freedom, and true empowerment.
It’s time to reclaim the version of you who never had to beg to be chosen.
You ready?
Let’s do this.
The Femme Cast
The Moment I Realized My Old Self Was Gone—and Why That Was a Gift
There comes a pivotal moment in healing after betrayal when you realize something life-changing: you can never go back to who you were before—and that’s exactly where your freedom begins.
After my relationship ended, I tried everything. I clung to the same routines and lifestyle I had during the relationship, hoping it would bring me comfort. I tried to reclaim my “old self” through dating, career hustle, and distractions, thinking if I could just feel like I did before heartbreak, I’d be okay. And yet, I kept attaching to emotionally unavailable partners, spiraling deeper into heartbreak, and eventually hitting emotional rock bottom.
The harder I tried to hold it all together, the faster it fell apart. And when I finally let it all collapse, the real transformation began.
In this episode of The Femme Cast, we dive into:
🎤 The moment I realized I could never go back—and why that was actually a gift
🎤 How my pre-betrayal self had manifested the heartbreak for growth
🎤 Why chasing my old identity kept me stuck in cycles of unfulfilling connections
🎤 The breakthrough of turning fully inward, asking “What does my soul want me to do next?”
🎤 How heartbreak can unlock infinite possibilities for personal growth, confidence, and authentic power
🎤 Why embracing the woman you’re becoming is more powerful than trying to return to your past self
If you’ve been longing to return to who you were before heartbreak, this episode is your invitation to step fully into your next chapter. The woman you’re becoming carries all your wisdom—and none of your limitations.
PS: Still bending, chasing, and settling? That ends now.
In a 90-min Sacred Reclamation Intensive, you’ll break the cycle, reclaim your power, and step into the woman who never begs to be chosen. Spots are limited — grab yours here: 👉 [Book now]
But fair warning—authentic connections, aligned opportunities, and breakthroughs in love, money, and purpose are inevitable.
Hey you guys, what is up and welcome back to the show. I am so excited and grateful to have you guys here. Welcome, if you're new. Today I wanted to talk about that specific moment when I realized I can never go back to being the person that I was before the betrayal happened and, just you know, made the decision to start living in awe of the woman that I was becoming. And this was not an overnight process by any means, right, it kind of went through different phases, right.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So first, when the relationship ended after the betrayal, obviously there was, you know, as I mentioned in the last episode, I had been letting go for quite some time. So I felt mentally, I believed I was ready to move forward with my life and to move on. But initially what I noticed is that I was still kind of living life the same way. I was still following the same routine, cooking the same meals, following the same schedule, kind of like from day to day, week to week, and I felt like I was still trying to maintain the same life, even though, you know, the landscape of my life had drastically changed with this person no longer in it, right, and I really didn't need to maintain the same habits, routines or schedules anymore. Like it was kind of like, okay, like what do I want to create for myself now? Right, like I kind of had the opportunity to really do that. And so, you know, when I finally, okay, like what do I want to create for myself now? Right, like I kind of had the opportunity to really do that. And so, you know, when I finally, okay, I realized that I'm like, okay, I don't need to be doing this anymore. Okay, so you know, what do I want to create now? Right? So I thought to myself, well, you know, who was I before I met this person? Before I met this person, I was, you know, we had been together for quite some time, so I was obviously a lot younger.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I was very, very, very wildly out there dating, probably, you know, not, I wouldn't say they were situationships, I wouldn't. Well, maybe they were. A lot of them were probably situationships, but, honestly, like a lot of it was just me being emotionally unattached and unavailable to a whole bunch of people and just kind of getting out there and dating and meeting people, but never actually, never actually calling in a real relationship. And although I came across as very confident and very outgoing and my calendar was always full and I always had lots of dates to go on, but it was all very surface level. None of it was really meaningful.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And deep down there was a part of me that was really craving that intimate connection with somebody, right, but on the surface I seemed confident, I seemed radiant, I seemed to be in my power and you know it was very easy to get out there and get attention from men and date, and you know, keep my calendar full, um, and you know my phone book very active, right, um, my call, my call list very active. But you know it was all very superficial, um, but there was a part of me that was craving all that attention again, all that confidence again, all that fun again. And so I tried desperately to recreate it right, I tried desperately to recreate the vibe. And you know, just go back to who I was before this person came into my life and you know, nothing I did worked Like, yeah, I went out there and yeah, I got attention from men and yeah, I started dating a lot and started meeting a lot of new people.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But you know, the level of emotionally unavailability that I was calling in was like next level and, oddly enough, each guy was worse than each new guy was worse than the last. So what ended up? And I just kept getting more and more attached, which is something that I didn't have the time before. So I was starting to cling to these emotionally unavailable men. They would break my heart. And then I would go out and find the next emotionally unavailable dude, cling to him. He would break my heart. Each time I would get more attached. Each time they would get more emotionally unavailable to the point where, like, by the time I was done, I was destroyed. Like, emotionally I was destroyed. Like there was so much like heartbreak after heartbreak and reaffirming of this belief that I am not good enough and I am not lovable. That, by the like, I had hit emotional self-worth rock bottom right by the time all was said and done. And so you know, I realized in that moment I couldn't go back to the person who I was before the relationship happened, because too much had happened and I had just been through so much right.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So the next stage in this was really accepting that, hey, you need to heal now. You need to focus on yourself now. You need to stop putting all your energy into these relationships and just start focusing on yourself. And there was a part of me, that huge part of me, that was actually done, pouring all her. I'm done. I was done. I'm done. I'm done pouring all my energy into these connections that don't give me anything in return. I'm done putting myself out there trying to fit everyone's expectations of who it is they think they need to be in a relationship with. I am done with all of it.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And I just wanted to focus on myself and what I needed in order to feel full, in order to feel whole, in order to feel complete and in order to feel like my most confident and empowered self again, not the one who's been depleted from one relationship to the next for the last several decades. Right? Who does that? What does she look like? What does she need? What would it look like for me to become her? And that became my focus, right, and what I realized in that journey and obviously it was a journey that took some time and, and you know, there was a lot of healing and a lot of um, you know, kind of rediscovery. That happened as I, as I moved through the process.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But as I moved through all that, I started to realize that you know, you've heard me talk about that moment on the beach, that where I heard that voice say to me there's so much more waiting for you out there. You just have to be willing. You just have to have the courage to go for it, you know, or willing to be willing to go for it. I was starting to get a glimpse of what that voice was talking about and I realized there was a lot more waiting for me on the other side and there was a lot more that I was meant for and there was a lot more that I could call in that maybe I didn't even think was an option for me before this relation. Like before this relationship, this, probably, these things that were trying to be called call in for me, like the fact that I was going to start doing this work and and create a business around it and then create a podcast a podcast would hit top 10% worldwide None of this was even like a possibility in my mind before this relationship none of it.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And so if I had gone back to the person, the version of me because I remember having that conversation with a friend of mine one day like I just want to feel as good as I did before I met him. I just want to feel as good about myself as I did before he came into my life. I just wanted to go back to that confident on top of the world, like literally world at my feet, kind of attitude that I had before I met this person. But that is the exact person that called in this relationship to begin with, because deep down there was still a lot of unworthiness, even though I wasn't paying attention to it, and that's why this relationship came into my life.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And there was also a part of me that, this version of me, who, what I was before I met this relationship, who was thinking very small about what she wanted in life and wasn't open to what life wanted to bring her right. I was completely blind to what my life path was actually going to look like and I had this false illusion based on what everybody else was doing and what was considered normal and that's know, that's kind of the path I had carved out for myself, right? Or I believed I was going to be carving out for myself, and so I had no idea who I was. I had no idea who I was becoming. I had no idea what wanted to be birthed through me and created through me, because it wasn't even something I could comprehend. I don't even think podcasting was a thing at the time, you know. I mean, like we're talking way back, like I mean social media. I think social media hadn't even been a thing yet.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, like the world was about to drastically change and I had no clue and the version of me that I was before this relationship came into my life had no fucking clue what she was going to create in the future version of herself. She also had no idea how much healing she needed to do beneath the surface, because she was just so focused on finding that person who was going to externally validate her and make her soothe and put all that fear of abandonment and rejection and put it at ease. Right, because that's essentially what was happening. I thought this person was going to finally put all that insecurity and that low self-worth that I felt all those years, that little kick in my stomach every time I thought to myself, wow, am I going to be alone for the rest of my life? I thought this person was going to soothe all that and they did at first. Right, until they didn't right, until they triggered all of it so that I could heal from it and evolve and step into this new and like totally like, crazy, crazy, crazy next level version of not next level version of myself that I want, like not beyond anything I could have ever thought and wanted at the time.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know what I mean. It's like this whole, like other version of me out of left field that I could not have seen coming before this person came into my life, and so that was the moment that I realized I could never go back to her. I wasn't meant to go back to her. If I go back to the version of me that I was before this relationship happened, not only am I dooming myself to attract the same type of relationship again, only am I dooming myself to attract the same type of relationship again. But look at all of the amazing experiences and goals and dreams and ambitions and purpose that I would be turning my back on by going back to that. That's not to say that I'm not rejecting that part of me. She was a beautiful part of my story and my journey and she was vital for me to take those next steps, and she continues to be a part of who I am today.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But that evolution. My God, like to turn my back on that and say, no, I just want to go back to who I was before. I can't believe now, now I can't believe that there was a version of me who was crying to her best friend saying I just wish I could go back to the woman I was before. No, fuck, no, not in a million years would I go back to love her. She's great, she's a beautiful girl, she's I, I, I. I commend her for her strength and her perseverance, um and and how far she came because she had her own achievements right. But, fuck no, I wouldn't go back.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Hell, no, all of this, all of this pain, this transformation, this upheaval, this betrayal that transformed me on such a deep level so that I could finally, finally and again, you know, having it like compound in the months and years that followed, with, you know, my, my, you know, going through my douchebag era that you've heard me talk about on the podcast so famously, which was kind of the aftermath of this relationship, and trying to, you know, desperately, find that person. Well, if this person was going to betray me and make me feel worse and less than I'm going to go out and continue to try and find that person that's going to soothe all of that for me. And when that finally fell apart and I said, no, I just need to be by myself and focus on myself right now, that was the biggest transformation that ever took place for me in my life, because for the first time, I was ready to do the work. For the first time, I was ready to look at all of the abandonment and rejection wounds that were literally running the show for me and taking up all of my energy, taking up all of my resources and really start to move through and heal all those, so that not only I could finally break those cycles of constantly chasing and needing that external validation from a partner, but also open myself up to this infinite potential that was just aching to be born through me. And so, hell, no, I would never go back to that woman, because that would be a complete disservice to all of this pain and trauma and transformation that I have been through in the last like 10 or 15 years. You know, biggest betrayal, that would be the biggest betrayal of them all and I am just not available for that.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So if you're sitting there, if you're somebody who's sitting there and crying to your friend or you're listening to this podcast and you're thinking I just want to be the person that I was before I met them. You know the person of you who was radiant and confident and felt beautiful and, on top of the world, great. You will feel like that again, but not as the same version, as a newer, more evolved, transformed version, the one who is going to heal so deeply from a lot of those abandonment and rejection wounds that led to bringing that relationship, calling that relationship in in the first place and also showing you, stepping into the version of you who sees all your potential and how those feelings of unworthiness and, you know, constantly jumping through hoops for their validation was keeping you small in so many ways. And how much more, so much more that you're capable of when you fully step into and realize your worth. Because that's what's really waiting for you on the other side of all of this and it is so powerful that once you get there, I promise you you will never, ever, ever want to go back and you'll feel just as good, you'll feel just as confident. You'll feel that radiance come back, but it'll be different because now you'll take who you were before the relationship. You'll also take everything that you learned during the relationship and you're going to use it to alchemize and transform yourself to the version that you are becoming on the other side, and I promise you that that version is so much more powerful and so much more capable than you ever would have thought was possible, and she has dreams and goals that you may have even never considered, ever or thought like, not even like. It's not even a possible reality. You've never. The thought has never even crossed your mind.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Okay, again, the person I was. Social media wasn't even a thing. She didn't know she was going to start a top global podcast 10 or 15 years down the line. She had no fucking clue, like completely oblivious to it. She had no idea how the world was going to change, how technology was going to change, what she was, the power that she was going to step into and the lessons that she was going to change, how technology was going to change what she was, the power that she was going to step into and the lessons that she was going to learn. She didn't even think she was going to be teaching anybody anything. That wasn't even on her radar, right? She was a fashion major for Fox Saves, you know, like totally clueless.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So let it take you, let it carry you, let it open up doors and possibilities and potential that you didn't even know was there.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Consider yourself a blank slate on the other side of this and ask yourself, tell yourself you love the person that you were before and you appreciate the strength that the version of you had to move through that connection, and I want you to write on a blank sheet of paper who do I want to become on the other side of this and what is really on my heart to create in this life for me? And that is who you want to be stepping into, not the girl that you were before you met this person. Okay, let me know what resonates. Email me at maria at the femcast, at the femcoachcom I don't know why I always get that wrong. Email me at maria at the femcoachcom or DM me on Instagram, which is actually where you can usually get ahold of me the fastest. You can DM me at the femcast and if you love this episode, please, please, please. It would mean the world to me if you would leave a positive rating or review on Apple, itunes or Spotify or wherever you're seeing this. Until next time, you guys, massive love.
