The Femme Cast
Welcome to The Femme Cast—the podcast for women who are truly ready to break free from toxic relationship cycles, choose themselves, and become a magnet for the love they deserve.
I’m Maria — Master Energy Healer, Radical Self-Love Leader, and Relationship Mentor.
I work with the women who are cycle breakers, grid shakers, and truth layers — the brave souls who came here to dismantle the inherited beliefs that told them they had to chase love, prove their worth, and beg to be chosen.
I help them break free from the karmic cycles and generational patterns that keep them stuck in toxic relationships and self-abandonment — so they can unapologetically choose themselves, reclaim their inherent worth, and become magnetic to soul-aligned love, expansive opportunities, and the liberated life they were born to lead.
Without ever shrinking, settling, or self-abandoning again.
I’ve been where you are, stuck in cycles of chasing love, begging to be chosen, and abandoning myself again and again in the name of love. But I turned my pain into purpose, and now I’m here to help you do the same.
Each week, I share personal stories, actionable insights, and a blend of spiritual and practical tools to help you heal from past wounds, reclaim your self-worth, and rewrite your love story. You’ll hear everything from vulnerable truths about my own journey to breaking toxic patterns to empowering lessons that will guide you toward creating the healthy, loving relationships you crave.
Join me as we say goodbye to self-abandonment, people-pleasing, and unhealthy dynamics, and hello to radical self-love, emotional freedom, and true empowerment.
It’s time to reclaim the version of you who never had to beg to be chosen.
You ready?
Let’s do this.
The Femme Cast
The Betrayal Series Day 2: The Rage You’re Afraid to Feel Is the Rage That Brought Me Back To Life
They told you to “let it go.”
To stay soft. Stay positive. Stay silent.
But what if your rage isn’t a problem to fix — what if it’s a portal?
In this raw, unfiltered episode of The Femme Cast, we’ll crack open the misunderstood experience of rage after betrayal — not as a weakness, but as a sacred, intelligent force calling you back to yourself.
Betrayal trauma doesn’t just break your heart — it breaks your trust in your own knowing. And the rage that surfaces in its aftermath? It’s not just anger at them… it’s the buried grief of how deeply you abandoned yourself to stay loved.
🎤 You’ll discover how unprocessed rage leaks out in misplaced aggression, dreams, or chronic tension
🎤 Why suppressed emotions distort your energy and keep attracting more emotional unavailability
🎤 How to safely give rage a voice, so it can stop screaming from the shadows and start guiding your healing
🎤 And the real reason “just forgive him” never sat right with you (and never should have)
I’ll share my own personal experiences — including the explosive ways rage surfaced in dreams, traffic, and everyday life — revealing how years of self-abandonment finally came to a head. And how choosing to listen to that rage became the most holy, transformational act of self-reclamation she ever made.
Rage is not the opposite of love. Sometimes, it is love — the kind that says, never again.
If you’re ready to break the cycle, feel it all, and reclaim the voice you silenced to survive... this episode is your permission slip.
🎧 Listen now and reclaim the very part of you that you that is trying to make you feel whole again.
Your rage is holy.
Let it lead you home.
Ready to stop abandoning yourself for love? To finally rise from the wreckage of betrayal and become the woman you were born to be?
The Sacred Reclamation Series: Betrayal Edition now playing right here on The Femme Cast.
5 soul-stirring podcast episodes + a FREE live healing + activation on July 29th @ 8PM EST
This is your sign.
This is your turning point.
Claim your seat now at the FREE live healing + activation now.
https://thefemmecast.kit.com/masterclass
You guys, what is up? And welcome back to this show. Today is day two of our five part series, the five day sacred reclamation podcast series, the betrayal edition, where we're talking all about how to support you if you've ever been cheated on, lied to or manipulated by somebody that you loved and trusted, and how this can literally be the platform in which it elevates your entire life and transforms your entire life. So yesterday was day one. We talked about how did I not see this sooner and how to actually forgive yourself after these experiences, because I know often that can really be one of the hardest parts. It certainly was one of the hardest parts for me to move through in the beginning. So today is day two. We're talking all about the rage that you are afraid to feel, and I know that this is scary and I know that this is really uncomfortable and it doesn't always show up right away. Okay, it doesn't always show up right away, or sometimes it shows up in very sort of like subliminal ways that you're not really connecting with the experience. It's part of the betrayal trauma response. I think when we move through these, when we move through this rage, when we move through this discomfort, when we move through this rage, when we move through this discomfort, but as uncomfortable as it is and as much as we try to avoid it, it is going to find a way to present itself one way or another. I'll tell you some of the ways it was kind of showing up for me and then I'm also going to share with you how I use this to create some truly powerful healing for myself. And I've kind of built it into my sacred reclamation intensive. So when you do sessions with me, when we do a lot of the emotional, energetic work and the emotional clearing work, a lot of times we do tap into these rage frequencies so that we can kind of ignore, because most of the women that come to me I'll tell you right now, most of the women who come to me and that I work with you know we always look at the emotions that are trapped within the energetic body or the physical body. Even, and usually nine out of 10 times, those emotions are related to rage, resentment or anger. Right, those are the emotions I see above all else, above grief, above guilt, above shame, above sadness, grief above guilt, above shame, above sadness, rage, resentment and anger. And I truly believe, I truly, truly, truly believe and I'm not again, I'm not a psychologist. This is just from what I've experienced and what I've seen in the woman that I've worked with. If you resonate with me, you resonate with my story and you resonate with my content.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:For you, I can almost guarantee that the rage is an evolution of the resentment and the anger. The anger comes first, right. The anger comes when you know we get taken advantage of or we give more. You know we don't uphold our boundaries right. We get taken advantage of. People hurt us, people mistreat us, people manipulate us, people devalue us right. So we get angry. And then, you know, when people continue to do that, we start to build resentment towards them. We start to give more than we should, hoping that we'll get the love back. Then we start to get resentful for all that we're giving and how little we're getting back and eventually that all turns into rage. And the rage right.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:The rage is the, as I've seen, it is the repetition of self. It's actually, it's actually more directed to ourselves than it is the other person. It's almost like it's got multi layers right. So whenever we look at rage, we tap into that first layer. What do you? What's the rage about? What are you angry about? Like, where's that rage coming from? I'm angry at this person because they lied to me, they cheated on me, they manipulated me, they totally just embarrassed me and humiliated me in front of all my family and all my friends. And then we kind of go a layer deeper, right. We kind of sink into the okay, so we allow it, and we sink into it and we feel it Okay. So what's going on beneath the surface? Like what's really there? What do you? What is it that you're really angry about?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And the anger is how did I let this happen? You know, how? How did I? How did I let this continue again? And how did I let this behavior continue again and again? How did I let them hurt me again and again and again? Why? Why couldn't I just make them stop, right and that's.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And so the the rage oftentimes, um, in the beginning and this is not always, but oftentimes in the beginning. You know, when we tap into that first layer, it's externally being vented, whereas when we go in a little bit deeper, it's almost internally expressed, right, or internally centered. So it becomes more about why didn't I do something different, right? So it ends up being like built up anger that we have towards ourselves, built up anger towards ourselves, resentment towards them, um, all rolled up into this big messy ball of rage. Okay, so we start to take that apart. Like, literally, a ball of Christmas lights, um, but it can be done. Um, it's the Christmas night, like, not analogy is one of my favorites but literally it's like it's like a string of Christmas lights in a knot, um, like the giant knots, like the ones you have to, like spend days unraveling.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So you know, when it comes to feeling the rage that you're afraid to feel, you know it is very. You know we're taught not to. We're never taught to be comfortable with difficult emotions. We're never taught really to be comfortable being angry, expressing ourselves and just letting shit out. We're always taught to let things be or let things go. We're never actually taught to let it out. And when we do let it out, it's normally in very unhealthy ways.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And where you know we take it out, we, you know we take out our frustration or our aggression it's misplaced. You know we take out our frustration or our aggression. It's misplaced. You know we're holding all this rage and aggression towards our partner but we don't say anything. But then if somebody you know spills a cup of coffee on our white blouse on our way into work, you know it's game on for like a full on, like rage, war, right? So there's that misplaced rage, that misplaced aggression, where we start to take it out on people in places and things that we feel a little bit safer because they're not as significant, they don't have. You know, we don't have to risk confronting something that could really alter the direction of our life, right? Or bring us into deeper confrontation or, you know, really shake the foundation of a relationship that is really important to us, right? So we take it out on these seemingly insignificant things and incidences as misplaced anger or rage as a way to basically let the steam out of the pot is essentially what we're doing, right? So somebody comes along and they bump you in the grocery store. Now you're like you're letting some steam out of the pot because you're ready to over, you're ready to like over, like explode, but you can't because you're afraid to let your rage out and your anger out, because you're afraid of what the fallout of that will happen, what will be in some way shape or form? And so you know what you do is you let out steam with these other sort of insignificant events.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:This was happening for me a lot. I can remember one time I swear all my friends and family at the time must have thought I was going mental, like what is wrong with this chick. I remember one time driving to work one day and there was always this cop stopped and you know she was all and I remember I think I was trying to remember why I got so. You know I don't remember why I got so angry, like I don't remember if she had pulled me over before. I don't think she had. But I remember there was a cop that was always on my route to work and I, oh I think what had happened was um, because I was, I was a speed junkie. I used to speed all the time so I was like I would always do at least 20k over like the speed limit wherever the heck I was going. Um, don't do that anymore. But um, so I, you know I'm driving along and um, I didn't realize how fast I was going and I knew it was. I knew it was a sticky spot for where usually there was a cop around, um, and I think I had seen her there before and she's always got like the worst attitude Um, um, cause you can kind of, you can kind of.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I kind of heard the way she was talking to somebody when I was stopped at the light one day when she was giving them a ticket, um, and I remember driving by one day and I was so speeding and I was like, oh you know what, something told me in that moment I better slow down. So I slowed down, um, and I could tell that she'd caught me on her, like on her. I guess I don't know if she caught me on her radar gun or something, but she kind of gave me a look and then kind of signaled to me to keep on moving Right and I was like, so she, I guess she flagged the. Maybe she didn't catch me at all, maybe she flagged the next guy, I don't know. But either way, for some reason, I went home that night and I wrote, or or I got to work that day and I wrote this massive long post directed at her, like basically saying, haha, psycho, whatever, I don't know what I called her. I called her every name in the book. You didn't catch me, even though I know you really wanted to and I know you were this close, but I got away with it and I'm like.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I think back to that post often. I'm like what was wrong with me in that moment? What was wrong with me was I was experiencing so much rage at home and I didn't have an outlet for it because I was constantly holding it all in and so I was letting it out and all these other misplaced ways to let some steam out of the pot, because I was brewing with rage. So hopefully that even made sense because, like I said, I cannot remember the details. I cannot remember the details of why I wrote the post or what the circumstances were leading up to me kind of, you know, avoiding getting a ticket from her. All I remember is coming home and writing this long-winded, nasty post directed at her and how I was celebrating having escaped giving her an opportunity to give me a ticket. That was essentially it. I think if I had probably told the therapist, they probably would have had me committed at the time.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Calm down, nothing actually happened.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:There's really no reason for you to be angry.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But the truth was there was a lot for me to be angry about. It just had nothing to do with that moment. Right, it could be anything from somebody bumping into you in a grocery store or, like I said, somebody bumping into you and spilling coffee on you or cutting you off on the highway, you know, grabbing your parking spot when you've been waiting, clearly, like 10-20 minutes. You know, in the middle of Christmas shopping, traffic on the other side trying to get that same spot right, and then along comes this guy on the other side and, you know, zooms right into your spot without even like a second thought. You know all these things are things that can so quickly set you off and become an opportunity to let out some misplaced rage and anger right Very quickly.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And it's funny like we think these things are normal and we think that's part of our everyday life and we think that, oh yeah, well, you know, it's just an annoyance, it's just that you know when things like that can make you angry, you know you've got some stored anger and aggression that you're dealing with. You know you've got some stored rage because I can tell you right now, like it's not to say, that I never get irritated when somebody cut me, cuts me off on the highway, or you know there's also you know there's also principle, obviously, and it's still irritating, but it doesn't get me angry, I think, is the difference. It can be annoying, it could be that's not right. You know you shouldn't do that to people, but there's not that same element of anger or rage underneath it, right? And so I think you know it's really important to look at. You know, sometimes we think we don't want to feel something, we don't want to move through something, but it's coming out anyway, and in really unhealthy ways. I know for me actually too. But it's coming out anyway, and in really unhealthy ways. I know for me actually too.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Sometimes it can come out, um, when we're in a sleeping state. So, whether you're, you know, you could be having bad dreams. You could be having, um, you know, like nightmares, like dreams that are scary, or dreams where you're being attacked. You can also have dreams where you were um, letting out some of the rage. I know I used to have these like. I don't even know what you would call them. They weren't night terrors, they weren't lucid dreams, but I remember I would in my dream.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I would be fighting with him at night as I was sleeping. I would be fighting with him in my dream and I don't remember what we'd be fighting about. All I remember is that in my dream we were fighting and I would. I don't remember what we'd be fighting about. All I remember is that in my dream we were fighting and I was just roaring at him like no words, no crying, just roaring like a lion, like trying to let out all of this rage, all this anger and all this frustration, and I would actually be physically like screaming in my sleep as I was doing this, and so I was waking up screaming in the middle of the night bloody murder, and it was very disturbing. I'd never experienced anything like that before. I'm never like. I mean, I had nightmares as a kid. Obviously we all do, but I never had what would be considered night terrors or anything like that, and you know, I certainly never, you know, even spoke in my sleep like to, to scream like that and to wake up like this, night after night after night for a very prolonged period of time, became really frightening.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Um, and this was at the part of the point in this journey where I was really trying to, um, be in denial of what was happening and what I knew was happening, right, so I think it was the I again when, when I talked about, you know the rage. There's a rage. How could you do this to me, how could you treat me this way? How could you like betray me like this? But there's always that layer beneath it where it's like, how could I have done this to myself? Like, how could I have like, let this happen? Why did I continue to stay in this relationship?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So there was a part of me that, although I was angry with him, but there was also a part of me, like a soul fragment of mine, that was like, why are you staying with him? Like why you know what's happening, why can't you trust it? Why don't you tell this person what you're really thinking and feeling and what you really believe? And why are you waiting for him to confirm it or validate it or apologize for it? Like, why, like you know, I think there was both of those. There was the rage that I was feeling towards him, and then there was also the rage that I was feeling and that was accumulating towards myself and why I wasn't trusting my inner, knowing in the situation right and waiting for him to validate or confirm what I already knew to be true and to take accountability and responsibility and apologize for it. You know so the rage, like it or not, is going to find a way to come out right. And if it doesn't like, recognize this too right.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Even though some of my rage was coming out either in my sleep or in these like kind of isolated moments where I was, like, you know, kind of letting it out on those people's places and things kind of triggering me or around me, there was still, like, for every little bit that I was letting out, there was so much more trapped on the inside. And all of that trapped rage, that unprocessed, unacknowledged, unhealed rage, you know, it does build up, it stays there, it stays in our body, it stays in our energy field and it basically distorts our energetic signature. And so then we, you know, we walk around the world, then we, our signature, we put our signature out there, we put our, our energy out there for to magnetize people, places and things towards us. And guess what? I was magnetizing bunch of angry, frustrated, difficult to be there be with individuals. Frustrated, difficult to be there. Be with individuals, right.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Especially when I started, when, after I left and after I left the relationship and started dating again and the douchebag era began, they were all angry as fuck, like they were all holding on to so much rage and anger and they would almost always take it out on me, and I think that that was a byproduct of all the rage and anger that I had was holding on to that I had not fully released yet, right, other than you know that little bits that were coming out in the circumstances around me or that were coming out in my sleep, there was still a huge chunk of it that I was holding internally that I wasn't acknowledging. You know, when I left that relationship, I just could not wait to put it behind me and start my life over and start fresh and start dating new people and forging new relationships and getting on a path to healthier, more loving relationships. And all I did was the exact fucking opposite. I attracted so many more toxic, angry, difficult, painful, emotionally unavailable relationships than I ever had before in my life. It's like every partner got worse in the last and that's because I really wasn't doing the work to heal the emotions that were stuck beneath the surface that were attracting these types of individuals. Okay, rage is a powerful thing and you know the reason I practice emotional energetics and the reason why we do this in session.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Together we can manifest in so many ways. You know, we manifest by the words we say. We manifest by the beliefs that we hold. Yes, that's why, you know, things like affirmation and mindset work. Yeah, they're great tools, but most of what we manifest comes from what we feel. Our emotions are so energetically charged that they can manifest very quickly. And if we're not doing the work you know, we do the work on the mental body, we do the work on the physical body like in terms of like. What actions are we going to take? What goals are we going to set for ourselves? What habits are we going to bring into our lives to achieve what it is that we want to achieve? Right? So we have the mindset, we have the physical, we have the energetic, you know, with affirmations and things like that physical. We have the energetic, you know, with affirmations and things like that.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But oftentimes we forget the emotional body is probably one of the most powerful when it comes to manifesting, because the how do I explain this? Emotions are what actually draw in and alter our energetic signature. Things like affirmations. It's really about what we feel when we say them. That's doing the attracting when we say certain words or use certain language. It's really about what we're feeling when we say them. That is doing the attracting. When we take certain actions and do certain things or align in certain ways of being, it's because of what we're feeling when we do them. So really, it's the emotional body that's doing most of the manifestation work. So when we're constantly focused on affirmations and mindset work and energetics and things like that, we're missing a huge chunk of the puzzle, which is the emotional body.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And I don't believe that there's any emotion that's bad or good. I think all emotions are bad, healthy. It's how we use them that can determine whether they're healthy or not. The thing is typically emotions like joy, happiness, love, peace, all of those emotions we love to feel. So we feel them fully and we allow them to move through us and allow ourselves to experience them, although sometimes even those can get stuck. If we feel like we have somebody around us that doesn't want us to be too happy, or if we feel like we're going to get like you know, somebody is going to, you know, be hurt or uncomfortable. If things are too good and we're too happy and we're too in love, and you know, we try to kind of restrict ourselves from feeling those things. That can happen, believe it or not. So oftentimes those emotions can get sick, but usually usually nine out of 10 times we have no problem feeling joy fully, feeling love fully, feeling appreciation fully, feeling peace fully and enjoying it when it happens and appreciatingating it and allowing it to sort of be there.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:When we start to feel things like grief, anger, rage, shame, what's the first thing we do? We try to avoid them. We try to avoid them, we try to make them pass quickly, we try to move on to doing other things because we don't want to feel the damn thing. Whatever it is that we're feeling, and we stifle it, we silence it, we put it someplace where we don't have to look at it or acknowledge it. Right, sometimes, even when we do feel it, we'll feel it for a hot minute and then we'll move on and do something else. Right? We haven't really fully moved through that emotion. We think we have, but we haven't. You know, some people won't feel it at all. Some people will just keep burying their emotions one on top of the other and become this hot, energetic mess. Right, and so there's really nothing wrong with any emotion. What's wrong is how we cope with it.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Right, and when we stuff our emotions, things like our rage, our anger, our shame, our guilt. What ends up happening is we end up number one things like our rage, our anger, our shame, our guilt. What ends up happening is we end up number one, projecting it on other people around us and simultaneously attracting it in the people, places and the relationships that come into our lives as a way to get their mirrors. They're trying to get us to see what we're not seeing within ourselves. So if we're holding on to anger, we're going to attract a lot of angry people. When we're holding onto a lot of people who are, you know, making us feel ashamed, there's, you know, shame that we're holding onto internally. When we're attracting people who make us feel guilty, there's a lot of guilt that we're feeling internally. So, you know, always look at your relationships like the pattern, the types of people that you keep calling in and see where they might be pointing at something that you're holding within yourself. Okay, so I know we got a little derailed and it's already 22 minutes.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So understand, you know, having said all of that, the rage and the anger that you're feeling post betrayal right is real. It is very intense. It is the most intense rage I've ever felt in my life. Um, I've never experienced anger that felt like it was literally coming out of my pores like that, like to be screaming it out in my sleep, to be taking it out on a cop who was innocently like innocently giving people tickets down the street on my way into work, to be holding on to that much rage and be so quick to take it out on the world around me. I don't think I had ever experienced that before in my life and it was extremely uncomfortable and it was definitely something that I was very keen on ignoring. But it could only. You know again. You know, when you ignore it, it's only going to get worse, right, you're only going to manifest more. It's only going to get more uncomfortable. It's just not going to. It just not going to bode well for you, right?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So what ended up happening is I started to allow that rage to take up space and what I realized in doing so and letting it be uncomfortable and moving through the motions and feeling the feelings, and not in a way that I was taking it out on anybody around me I made sure when I was moving through and processing the rage, it wasn't about having somebody else in the room to kind of take it out on or verbally spew all the things I was angry about. It wasn't about that. It kind of became a practice for me where I would kind of give my rage a voice and I would ask it what it wanted me to know. What is it that you want me to know? What is it that you want me to do differently? What would you have had me do differently at the time, and how can I apply that to my life today? You know what made you feel like I or someone else let you down in that moment, right?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So I allowed my rage to keep talking, right, whether I was just, you know, having a conversation with it in my head, or sometimes I would journal my rage out on a piece of paper. I would basically give it a platform. I would give it a platform and I would let it say its piece. And you know, at first it was messy and it was ugly and I was afraid good God, like if anybody read my notes, they would have again, they would have me committed, right. So, but eventually, what ended up happening? And I did this slowly over time, and obviously, you know, when we do this in session together.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:This really collapses the time in which you get to this point. But if you're not ready to do that yet, you know you just kind of keep journaling and talking to the rage and seeing what it has for you and what it's trying to tell you, and then you kind of start to see the guidance and the wisdom that comes out of that. You know, rage holds a powerful message right, because again it's accumulated anger and resentment. I feel Like every time I've worked with it that's the pattern I've seen in the woman that I've worked with. It's usually nine out of 10 times it's accumulated anger and resentment that has built up over time that you've, you know, failed to take action on right. So when you get to that point where you're feeling that rage and there's usually some pretty solid takeaways in there for you there's usually some pretty solid advice and there's some you know, aha moments that you'll have, that you'll be easily able to apply to your life.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Today and now what's happened is not only have you felt the rage and you've acknowledged the rage and you've given the rage a chance to speak, but you've also given it a purpose, because it's now doing its thing and transforming your life, your behavior, how you show up. It's guiding your decisions. It's guiding what you're going to do differently from now on in your relationships, right, so that you learn the lesson and apply it. So rage becomes such a powerful tool, and I think the reason why it's more powerful than any other is, well, number one.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I think I always, you know, when we're working with rage, it's such a sacred experience. It's one of those things where I think the most intense emotions that we experience in this life bring us closer to our divinity. You know, even the uncomfortable ones like rage, um, there's so much sacredness and goodness and healing and transformation stored in a lot of those emotions. When we learn to use them properly, um, and move through them properly, um, they become very powerful, potent healers, right, and we use a lot of this energy in our healing work to transform and transmute energies that are kind of stuck in any one of our bodies mental, emotional or physical, yeah, but you know, having said that, you know there's so much wisdom to gain from it, right, there's so much to learn from it, and it can change so many things from us when we give it that unconditional love and acceptance and time and space to really be there and allow it to live its purpose. You know that and then you know take integrating that back into our experience, in our being. That really becomes this sacred dance that we're constantly doing with our emotional body and bringing us into union with ourselves. So we're no longer rejecting these parts of ourselves.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Because we do that, we reject parts of ourselves that we think are not lovable and not likable. Rage is the first part we start to reject in ourselves because we think bad, no one's going to love me, no one's going to like this, no one wants to hang out. I don't even want to hang out with this rage person that I've got on the inside. Why would anybody else want to hang out with her right? But when we start to allow that in and we start to make space for it, that is truly the highest form of unconditional love we can give ourselves. And then we can start to and this is what I always say start to be a magnet for emotionally available partners, because we're able to hold and be present with our emotions. So now we're going to attract people who mirror that back, no longer going to be attracting angry, emotionally unavailable people, we're going to be a magnet for people who know how to communicate what they're feeling, who know how to talk through conflict, who are emotionally available to be in a relationship. And that's literally what happens when you start to do this, because you have to treat all your relationships as mirrors. So there's really powerful healing that can happen when we start to acknowledge our rage.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So, recognizing that it's there and knowing that it's going to feel uncomfortable, you know, just start to feel it in doses, right, you know, take an hour here or there, shut the world out, put on a song. That's going to help you tap into a lot of those feelings. Right, start to rage it out on a journal or start to, you know, talk into your audio notes and record it. What does your rage have to tell you? What advice does it have for you? What is it angry about? What does it wish you had done differently? What does it wish somebody else had done differently? What does it wish that you would do differently in your life today in order to change your relationships going forward?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Right, start to ask all these questions and see what it has waiting for you and keep journaling and keep doing this work and keep letting it out. Scream into a pillow if you have to, you know, keep letting it out, keep like giving it a voice, let it take up space, let it be acknowledged, seen, witnessed and heard and then apply the lesson it's trying to teach you. I promise you this will transform you in so many ways and it'll help you to move through whatever hurt or betrayal you've experienced. That, you know, has, you know, put it there in the first place, and I can, almost I can tell you that almost always you want to ask it, not just about the betrayal that happened and the pain that you feel around that, but again, you know, going back to the mirror thing, in what ways did I betray myself in this relationship and how do I take that back Right and how do I do things differently? Because I know, I know, looking back to this relationship, even though I thought it was beautiful and peachy in the beginning, I know that I betrayed myself for this relationship because I put all my wants and needs and plans for my life on the back burner to make this relationship the central focus, and that's how I betrayed myself. So really, this relationship was just kind of mirroring how I betrayed myself in the end and that was.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, that's always not an easy pill to swallow, right? I mean, I'm not ever saying that you know it's your fault that your partner cheated on you or lied to you or manipulated you or made you think there was someone that they weren't. I think that in a healthy relationship, all parties can come to the table and have a conversation if there's something going on in the relationship. And if they didn't do that and they didn't choose to do that, you know, and they chose to kind of manipulate you or lie to you or cheat on you, that says more about them than it does about you, you know. But I think that in order to, you know, do everything that we can energetically to be a match for people who are going to be emotionally available for us and aren't going to betray us, is we first have to start not, you know, getting into the habit of not betraying ourselves just because we're in a relationship or for any reason. Really, um, and so that was, I think, one of my biggest takeaways.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I think my biggest takeaways was, um, and that the rage was trying to teach me was why do you keep betraying yourself for this guy? Like, why do you keep betraying yourself to hold onto this relationship? That clearly wasn't. You know what you thought it was going to be. So the lesson learned don't betray yourself for a relationship ever again. You still need to have your own vision for your life, your goals, your dreams, and you know your relationship should complement that. That's not to say we should never make sacrifices. Of course there's always sacrifices to be made and compromises in a relationship Sorry, not sacrifice, that's the bad word Compromises that we make in a healthy relationship. But I think ultimately, you know we get to keep our vision for our life and we get to move through life, and you know those may change, but they have to change because of internal reasons, not external ones.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So that was the one thing, and I think the other thing was, you know, learning. You know I was angry at myself for not trusting myself and not taking action on what I already knew to be true and waiting, feeling like I needed to wait for him to validate my experience or validate what I was believing in some way, shape or form. So that was my takeaway from my rage. Those were the two things my rage was trying to teach me. And you know, going forward since then, all I've done in my relationship is make sure that I always check in.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Is there a part of myself that I'm betraying right now? Am I? Am I, am I turning my back on something that I said I was going to do for me, that it was important for me, and that I'm leaving behind now? Because I'm involved with this person, right? And there were a few times where I was like, okay, I could turn the dial a notch and you kind of like you know you kind of you always, always readjusting my path, always readjusting my actions, always readjusting my decision-making right and course correcting, and always, always, always remembering, you know, checking in with myself. Am I really listening to my inner guidance system? Am I trusting what I know to be true over what they're telling me to believe Right? So those have been my two big takeaways and I take those into practice in all of my relationships and I've put those in practice in all of my relationships and it has made all the difference and this is the thing that has actually settled the rage, because I've given it voice, I've given it freedom, I've given it purpose.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Voice, freedom, purpose is what your rage, or whatever emotion that you're stuck with, is looking for. So give it and then, feeling it, feel it like you feel your joy, feel it like you feel love, feel it like you feel pleasure. Feel it the same way. You feel all those things, because I can guarantee you, when you move through those you get to feel all those other things. But we got to move through this first. We can't just avoid these feelings and only feel the good stuff. Everything's going to get mucked up when we do that, because things are going to get stuck, clogged, murky. Yeah, you don't want it.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Move through each emotion as it comes up and if you can't do it in that moment, make time to do it later in the day. Like I know, obviously rage comes up we're at work. We can't really feel it when we're at work. So make time later that day or that week to process some rage. Give it some time, give it some attention and allow your emotional experience to move. Allow your emotions to move. Allow your emotions to move to, to be their own sort of living, breathing body, um, and that's what's actually going to make them move more quickly. Um, and then you can spend more time sort of enjoying and appreciating the emotions that feel good, rather than getting stuck in the ones that Don't.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So I know it's uncomfortable at first, but I promise you this is going to be the thing that sets your soul free. Not only free, it sets your soul on fire, I promise, because the advice and the guidance that you're going to get from some of these emotions is going to be life-changing. Okay, they all have a message for you. You just have to sit with them long enough to hear what the message is. So that is today's session.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Tomorrow's day three burning it all down, because I can tell you right now, if you're like me and you've, you know, kind of created this life for this person who betrayed you, where you completely betrayed yourself and turned your back on everything that you wanted, and you designed your life for this person, now it's time to recreate that from what it is that you really want. So that's what I'm going to be talking about tomorrow. We're also going to be going deeper into this in the masterclass, so make sure you sign up for that. All of the links are in the show notes below. If you love this episode, please leave a positive rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you're seeing this. And until tomorrow, you guys, massive love.
