The Femme Cast
Welcome to The Femme Cast—the podcast for women who are truly ready to break free from toxic relationship cycles, choose themselves, and become a magnet for the love they deserve.
I’m Maria — Master Energy Healer, Radical Self-Love Leader, and Relationship Mentor.
I work with the women who are cycle breakers, grid shakers, and truth layers — the brave souls who came here to dismantle the inherited beliefs that told them they had to chase love, prove their worth, and beg to be chosen.
I help them break free from the karmic cycles and generational patterns that keep them stuck in toxic relationships and self-abandonment — so they can unapologetically choose themselves, reclaim their inherent worth, and become magnetic to soul-aligned love, expansive opportunities, and the liberated life they were born to lead.
Without ever shrinking, settling, or self-abandoning again.
I’ve been where you are, stuck in cycles of chasing love, begging to be chosen, and abandoning myself again and again in the name of love. But I turned my pain into purpose, and now I’m here to help you do the same.
Each week, I share personal stories, actionable insights, and a blend of spiritual and practical tools to help you heal from past wounds, reclaim your self-worth, and rewrite your love story. You’ll hear everything from vulnerable truths about my own journey to breaking toxic patterns to empowering lessons that will guide you toward creating the healthy, loving relationships you crave.
Join me as we say goodbye to self-abandonment, people-pleasing, and unhealthy dynamics, and hello to radical self-love, emotional freedom, and true empowerment.
It’s time to reclaim the version of you who never had to beg to be chosen.
You ready?
Let’s do this.
The Femme Cast
The Betrayal Series Day 3: Burn It All Down: Why Rebuilding the Same Life After Betrayal Is the Biggest Mistake You Can Make
You survived the betrayal… but now what?
If you’re still cooking the same meals, following the same routines, and trying to squeeze yourself into the exact life you had before it all fell apart — this episode is your wake-up call.
When my relationship ended in betrayal, I clung to the familiar. I stayed in the same job. Bought the same groceries. Maintained the same habits — even when they felt hollow. I think subconsciously part of me was hoping that if I just held it all together, maybe someone new would step in and pick up where he left off.
But one night, standing alone in my tiny downtown apartment with a fridge full of food I didn’t want to cook and a heart full of resentment, I had a breakdown — or rather, a breakthrough.
Why was I fighting to preserve a life that never truly felt like mine?
In this raw, unfiltered episode of The Femme Cast, I’m taking you inside that moment — and what happened next. This is about more than heartbreak. It’s about waking up to the ways you’ve betrayed yourself… and choosing to burn down the life you built around someone else.
We’ll explore:
🎤 Why clinging to “normal” after betrayal keeps you stuck in survival mode
🎤 The difference between healing and holding yourself hostage to the past
🎤 How I went from ordering pizza and wine every night… to dancing, traveling solo, and building a life that finally felt like mine
🎤 What it really means to burn it all down — and how to do it without losing your mind
🎤 The small daily shifts that transformed my entire existence
This episode isn’t about destruction. It’s about reclamation. It’s about building a life that lights you up from the inside out — not one that just looks good on paper.
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Who am I without him?”... this is the first step toward finding out.
Let this be your blank canvas. What would you paint?
🎧 Tune in now and get ready to meet the woman you were always meant to be.
Ready to stop abandoning yourself for love? To finally rise from the wreckage of betrayal and become the woman you were born to be?
The Sacred Reclamation Series: Betrayal Edition now playing right here on The Femme Cast.
5 soul-stirring podcast episodes + a FREE live healing + activation on July 29th @ 8PM EST
This is your sign.
This is your turning point.
Claim your seat now at the FREE live healing + activation now.
https://thefemmecast.kit.com/masterclass
Hey you guys, what is up and welcome back to the show. Today is day three of the Sacred Reclamation series, the Betrayal Edition. So today we're talking all about burning it down. We are burning it all down today and why you don't want to make the mistake of trying to rebuild the life that you had, and I speak from experience. Obviously, everything I share with you guys on this podcast is stuff that I've experienced firsthand, and this was, I think, probably one of the biggest mistakes when I first got out of that relationship and started to try to start my life over and rebuild after, kind of like, the devastation and the destruction and I think, you know, for the longest time I just I don't even know if I tried to rebuild the same life. I don't know if rebuilding is the right word. I think I start. I tried to maintain the same life. I was still cooking meals that we like to eat together, that you know recipes that were kind of made for two. I still planned the same boring vacations. I still had the same Saturday morning routine of cleaning the house and then going shopping. Essentially nothing changed except, you know, I went from being partnered to single. That was the only change that happened in my life.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Initially, um, and so I don't know when it was exactly, but I was. You know, I had just moved into my new apartment. I had the coolest little. I called it a shoe box because it literally was a shoe box. It was this like the cutest little bachelor pad in it a shoe box because it literally was a shoe box. It was this like the cutest little bachelor pad in like downtown Toronto, right in the TIFF light box district and, you know, like five minute walk from work at the time, because I was working in my corporate job and you know, every night you know I was coming home, you know, and if I wasn't cooking one of those, like I was trying to cook the meals that we had always cooked together, and what oftentimes ended up happening was I didn't have the motivation to make those meals or eat them alone. So I ended up ordering a pizza and drinking half a bottle of wine and calling it a day, and so I was like I was buying all this food that we would normally eat. I was looking for vacations that you know we would normally take together.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I was basically like basically living the same life I was living and trying to, you know, maintain the familiarity. And then, one night after I don't know how many, like how many days of eating pizza and drinking half a bottle of wine to calm down at the end of the night, I'm like, why am I doing this? Exactly? Like, why, why am I trying to live the same life that I was living with this person, right? Why am I sticking to the same routine, daily habits, weekly habits, mindset, like, why can't I let this be a clean slate? And not for anything? But everything that I was trying to hold on to was kind of not a pain when you know, but it was hard to stick to before and it was definitely hard to stick to now that I was on my own and trying to figure things out.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I'm like, you know, I never I was never really a fan of cooking every day. I mean I love to cook, but I don't like to cook every day. Never really a fan of cooking every day. I mean I love to cook, but I don't like to cook every day. I didn't like wasting my Saturday mornings cleaning my apartment. You know some. I always longed for more adventure in my so hard to like maintain the same life.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:That was literally like I was literally on the highway one day, wanting to crawl out of my own skin, stuck in traffic, headed home from a job that I hated to you know, a relationship where I felt completely unseen and unvalued and was completely like being manipulated into, you know, believing he was something that he wasn't. I'm like, why, why, why, why am I fighting to hold on to this Right? And I think, you know, I think when we move through experiences like that, I think it's normal because, you know, when we go through an experience where we are betrayed, lied to and manipulated, it can really make it feel like the rug was pulled out from under you. I get it, especially if it's somebody that and here's why I'm going to say, burn it all down. You know, if you're someone like me, you gave up everything for this person. You know like you turned your back on your dreams, you turned your back on your goals, you made this relationship the central focus of your life and you did everything you could to keep this relationship thriving, healthy and strong.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Right, and I think a lot of the rage that we talked about yesterday comes from the fact that you did do all this. You did give all of this up, you did kind of make this relationship the center, focus of your life, right Only to be met, you know, to in turn receive. You know all these lies, betrayal and manipulation, and yeah, of course you feel rage, right. But now it's like you're trying to hold on to this life because I get it, like I said, it's familiar, it's comfortable, this is where you've been, this is all you've known. Maybe there's still a part of you that feels like if you just maintain the same life, someone else will swoop in and take this person's place and then you can just go on. But remember all the stuff that you put on the back burner. Remember all the goals, the dreams, the wishes that you threw by the wayside because you made this relationship the back burner. Remember all the goals, the dreams, the wishes that you threw by the wayside because you made this relationship the central focus. I know it's easy. I know it's easy. It is so easy to just want to maintain the status quo, keep everything as much as you can, possibly the same and familiar, and maybe for a certain period of time.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I think we need that, you know. I think we need that to heal and I think we need that to process and I think we need that to have some sense of stability and normalcy, right. But there comes a time and I think it was when you know a lot of my healing like was done. It was when you know a lot of my healing like was done. There comes a time when you're like, okay. So now that I've moved through all that, what do I actually want for myself? You know, because I can remember, you know, when that relationship ended, like, looking at the rest of my life with, like it was like a big question mark in marquee lights, like what the fuck is your life now? Like who are you even Right?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And I think that you know, when it comes to holding on to the life that you had with, you know, whoever, whatever kind of relationship it was, whether you lived together, even if you didn't live together, you know any kind of long-term relationship will impact your way of life. So you know, looking at what you had together in this relationship, you know what did your life look like, how much of that was really what you wanted. Like really and truly like how much of that was really what you wanted and how much of that was you trying to give this relationship the best possible chance it had to survive. Right and making it the central focus. Right and making it your number one priority and responsibility. And then, you know, taking that away, what might you have done differently?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, for me this was such an eye-opening experience because I can remember, like, like I said, cooking, trying, you know, planning the same meals, only to end up saying, fuck it, I don't want to make steak and asparagus tonight, I just want to have like, pepperoni, pizza and wine out of the bottle. It was also part of my healing but because I was, you know, obviously moving through a lot at the time but you know what I mean Like you know, in my mind I was still trying to create, like live, the same patterns, same grocery list, same weekly schedule, same. You know, my daily and weekly routine did not change at all, other than I was now single. That was the only thing that had changed and, like I said, I needed that. I needed that for so long. And then one morning I woke up. I'm like, wait a minute, why am I doing this? Why? Why am I cooking these meals? I mean, I like them, but I know I don't like to cook every night.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I know one of the things that I was missing more than anything was that I wanted to go out and be social and have fun and make new friends and meet new people. I knew I wanted to go, try new things, learn new things, new activities. I knew I wanted more travel and more adventure in my life, and these were all things that I was kind of holding myself back from and all things that I had planned to do before I met this person and that I was kind of holding myself back from, and all things that I had planned to do before I met this person and that I had kind of put on the back burner and made and happily very happily, I might add made this relationship a central focus. And then, when it all fell apart and the betrayal and the cheating happened, you know I kind of, you know, I took that as my cue to say okay, well, maybe I betrayed myself a little bit.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And what would it look like to stop betraying myself now? What would it look like to actually create a life that was authentically me and what I would want, right? How would I fill my day? How would I go about my day? Or what habits would I have? Or, you know, what would my social life look like, what would my activities calendar look like, what would my travel itineraries look like, if I was actually the one making the decisions right, because I don't have anybody else to check in with right now. So, you know, it's kind of, it's kind of a blank slate, right.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And so and this is what I always tell people, like, if you've gone through an experience like this and you know, you've given up and I will say this and I've said this, I think, before in the series and I will say it again these experiences that we have, they're never random, they're not a coincidence, they're literally wake-up calls, because if you're like me and you've, you know, put it all on the back burner to make this relationship the central focus and make it your priority, and then you know only to be betrayed and lied to and manipulated in the end, then it's a wake-up call. It's a wake-up call to say, okay, so you've tried this, it wasn't. You turned your back on yourself. You literally betrayed yourself for this relationship. This is where it's now left you.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:What are you going to do? Who are you going to be now? What are you going to do with your life? Are you going to continue to try and create the same life, or are you going to take this opportunity to do something different, to step into the woman that you, your soul, has been begging you to be for as long as you can remember and you've probably been ignoring it? That's, that's my invitation for you to think about today, because I know that for me, like when I think back to this moment, that moment where I was, like I'm standing, I remember I was standing into like it was so funny, like it was so small, I could literally stand in my bedroom, my living room and my kitchen all at the same time. So I was standing in my bedroom, living room slash kitchen, um, and I, I, I was looking at my kitchen and and, and um, what's it called? Like, looking at the list of, like the grocery list that I have on the fridge, and I'm like, and looking at the same boring palette of groceries that I've been buying for like the last I don't know how many years, and I'm like, why am I doing this? Why? Why am I still living the same life? I've done a lot of my healing. I know I still have a lot more to do, but I'm ready to let familiar. Go now, I'm ready to let it all go.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And the way that we let it all burn down is we stop forcing the things that feel really hard. And I don't mean like, I mean we can. I know, you know we can do hard things, I get it. But the stuff that feels forced, the stuff that we have to grin and bear, the stuff that we've been forcing ourselves or trying to convince ourselves that we enjoy when we know that we don't. I know there are some things that we, as adults, we have to do, and I get it, and, yes, we can do, don't. I know there are some things that we, as adults, we have to do, and I get it, and, yes, we can do hard things, I get that too. But then there's other things that you know they don't really align with us and they don't align with what we want. So why are we still doing them, Right?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So look at the things that are feeling forced, things that maybe were ideas or habits or lifestyles that you probably would not have chosen if you weren't making this person or this relationship a central focus of your life, right? What might you have done differently? How might your lifestyle have been different? What different choices might you have made. Start to let go all the things that don't align, all the things that you're forcing to work. You know, the things that you force to work. Like I was forcing my career to work, I was forcing my corporate job to work. I was probably not forcing living downtown that was probably like one thing that I really enjoyed, but I was. I was forcing the, the, the, the lifestyle, though, because it didn't really feel authentic to me.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I wanted, you know, I I don't want to be part of that daily hustle. You know like I wanted to have some adventure and some spontaneity in my life. Well, how do I do that? Right? So I started to look at all the things in my life that were working and all the things that weren't, and there wasn't a lot that was to be honest. I mean, on paper it was working, but spiritually it was not. Spiritually, it started to feel like I was, you know, swimming through mud. It felt heavy, it felt hard. I was trying to juggle all these things, hold everything together. It was exhausting, I was getting burnt out. I'm like, why, why am I doing this? So, um, here was my version of burning it all down and I I don't recommend this. I don't recommend this. I really don't, because it wasn't easy. But would I do it all over again in a heartbeat? In a fucking heartbeat? I would do this all over again. And this didn't happen overnight. It happened very gradually, I would say over the course of about a year. Over the course of about a year, I started dancing, which is something that I'd never done before.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I remember I was the person who was afraid to go to the theater alone, so I started dancing, I by myself, like I would go to classes by myself, and then classes led to socials by myself, and then social events led to performances, group performances, but I would go alone, Like I wouldn't go with a friend, like I wouldn't sign up for these things with a friend. I would sign up for them by myself. I got to meet new people, experience new things. You know, I eventually left my corporate job and started my coaching practice. I packed up my apartment. Actually, that's not true. I actually ended up moving from that apartment. I got another apartment. I'm trying to make that work. That didn't work. I rented that out, I put my stuff in storage and I hightailed it to Southeast Asia for half a year.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And on the other side of that, like I can't tell you how different my life actually looked, um, because I shook myself out of those normal routines. I shook myself out of that lifestyle, that, um, or those habits or those routines that I had I felt like I had to adopt in order to keep the relationship thriving, and I focused on habits and routines that kept me thriving and made decisions that aligned with what I truly wanted for me in my life. And that, I think, was the biggest gift in all of it is this chance to kind of explore. You know, if I was the artist, my life was a canvas. What would I paint? Right? Because I know that the life I had before wasn't the life I would paint.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And maybe you know it working out was probably a blessing, even though it didn't feel like it at the time. You know, there was so much love there, so much love and devotion. A lot of it came from codependency, obviously, but there was a ton of love and devotion there and you know, if I went back, would I have made the decision not to go into the relationship? I don't know, because you know there was a time when it was absolutely perfect, at least it felt like it at the time anyway, although there were red flags and I ignored them like obvious red flags, I ignored them. So you know, going back now, I don't know if I would make the same decision again. Right, not, not in this mindset. I don't think if I were to go back today and with this mindset that I have now go back, I probably would not choose to pursue the relationship.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But if I had to do it over again from that same place, yeah, I probably would, because the beginning, like I said, the beginning was amazing and then the lesson that came out of it on the other end was absolutely powerful. So, as painful as it was, it was, you know, it was. I needed to go through that. I really did need to go through that. But, you know, and having gone through that experience and seeing how misaligned my life actually was and seeing how quickly the pieces fell into place when I actually started to live life according to what I wanted, you know, everything kind of changed and it's not been easy, like it hasn't been an easy journey, and this is why I always say, you know, I don't advise people to go down the same path that I did, because it certainly had. It didn't come without its challenges. It really didn't. It's been a very difficult like. There's been moments where it's been very difficult trying to navigate such a big shift all at once.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But you know, having said that, I would totally do it again In a heartbeat. I would do it again because the experiences that I had were so amazing and you know the shit that I learned about myself and how the woman I came out of that experience as is something I would never trade, no matter how difficult it got, no matter how scary it even got sometimes, you know, and uncertain, right, I was somebody. I'm a Taurus, I love certainty, I love stability, I love familiarity, and I took all of that away from me and it was the most jarring and unnerving experience of my life, um, but I would do it again in a heartbeat, honestly. I would maybe not now, um, but then I would do it again in a heartbeat. Honestly, I would Maybe not now, but then I would do it again in a heartbeat because of just so so much self-discovery, like, and learn and learning about myself and what I loved and didn't love and what totally, like you know, made my heart and my like, my whole being feel alive. I don't think I knew until I had that experience.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So, um, cause, you might remember, I was a people pleaser my entire life. So you know, other people's response to what decisions or choices or actions I made or paths I took were always kind of like my guiding, what's it called? Like my North Star. I mean, in high school I was a total rebel and then, you know, at some point along the line I've kind of felt like, you know, nobody was happy with me, nobody was pleased with me, and I wanted to be the person that everybody loved and was pleased with and I very quickly went from being completely rebellious and like, totally like, um, impossible to manage. God bless my poor parents, um, but I went from being completely rebellious and totally impossible to manage to literally being, um, you know, um, the, the, the person who, um, you know, did not that my parents ever put expectation on me.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I never want to say that they didn't put expectation on me, but there was almost this like unspoken thing in the family of like, oh, you know, well, it's just, it's assumed. You know, you get older, you get married, you get a job, you get, uh, get, you have children. Sorry, get a job, get married, have children, and you know that's what a happy life looks like, right, and you know it was never. I never questioned it before then. That was the first time I had questioned it and I think that you know many of us are starting to question. You know, when we go down this path.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, down this path, there's so many ways that life can look and there's so many different paths that we can take and I think patriarchal beliefs will have us believe that that is the light us up from the inside out. That is, you know, not available in that template sometimes. You know it can be it's not to say that it can't. It's great for some, you know. I always say it's always. You know there's always somebody that it's great for, there's always somebody that thrives in that kind of an environment.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But I don't think I was ever one of those people and I think somewhere along the line, by reverse osmosis, I started to believe that I would. And I don't think I would actually, as much as I sometimes regret not having children, and it wasn't ever a plan that I didn't have children, it just sort of happened. Because I know a lot of people ask that question Um, it was never part of the plan. The plan was always to have children, but it just never worked out that way. Um, you know path my life took me down a different path and, and you know, so be, and it's always been something that kind of you know, would it have been different? Am I sad about that Sometimes? Sometimes I am, but also like I know that I've had experiences in my life that I probably would not have had had I gone down that road. And you know, I always think, you know, maybe I just was not meant to, because I was meant to experience different things. And those things that I experienced and went through, yes, although some of them were hard, some of them were absolutely, absolutely amazing and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So, you know, use this opportunity, burn down the old life. You do not need to rebuild or maintain or exhaust yourself trying to maintain and hold together the life that you had. You can let it all go. You can let it all burn to the ground, fall to pieces, become a hot fucking mess For everyone to like, step in on their way into work one day. You know, let it be that and let all the pieces that are getting exhausting, to hold on, to fall away and let all the pieces that never felt like they felt Good to you, that you were, you know, holding on to keep this relationship, let it all go and burn to the ground and really start to ask yourself what would life look like if I was just living for me?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Like what would I? How do I want to spend my days? What do my habits and routines look like when I'm living my ideal life? What sort of lifestyle do I want for myself? Have I dreamt of for myself that I thought was not attainable? Because there's nothing that's inattainable if we put our mind to it. I truly believe that, and I believe it's in the small steps that we take every day and how we embody that version that we really start to become magnetic to a certain way of life.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So start to explore what it is you do want your life to look like. Like what goals and dreams and ambitions did you leave on the back burner when this relationship came into your life? What does this current version of you have as dreams and goals and ambition, and what do you want to prioritize going forward and what do you know needs prioritize going forward and what do you know needs to change, that isn't working for you, and if you could change it or replace it, what would that look like? Just start to explore and you know I love to make lists, I have a list for everything Make lists of things you would love to see come into fruition and review it. Review it daily, see what still resonates tomorrow and the next day, and you can take stuff, scratch stuff off when it doesn't resonate anymore and pay notice and attention to the ones that remain day after day. Whether it's a career change, a travel, a lifestyle change, getting fit, eating healthy, getting more social, getting back out there, dating, taking a dance class, a language class, whatever, whatever those things are that you feel um will bring positive change and energy to your life.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Keep, keep those um somewhere where you can see them and check in with them daily and see the P and see the ones that stick out to you day after day after day as things you would want to do and bring into your life. And try it. Try it on Baby steps, one step at a time. You can absolutely transform your life and make one that is authentically aligned to you and what you want and your goals and your dreams and your ambitions and really begin to honor the woman that you are becoming, which is what we're talking about tomorrow.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So yay, so that wraps up today. So tomorrow, we're going to be talking about who am I without him? And this is all about reclaiming the woman that you lost in the relationship and the woman that you're becoming now on the other side of it, because that is also very important. So that is tomorrow, so make sure to tune in for that. If you love this episode, please, please, please, leave a positive rating and review on Apple, itunes or Spotify or wherever you're seeing this. And until tomorrow, you guys, massive love.
