The Femme Cast
Welcome to The Femme Cast—the podcast for women who are truly ready to break free from toxic relationship cycles, choose themselves, and become a magnet for the love they deserve.
I’m Maria — Master Energy Healer, Radical Self-Love Leader, and Relationship Mentor.
I work with the women who are cycle breakers, grid shakers, and truth layers — the brave souls who came here to dismantle the inherited beliefs that told them they had to chase love, prove their worth, and beg to be chosen.
I help them break free from the karmic cycles and generational patterns that keep them stuck in toxic relationships and self-abandonment — so they can unapologetically choose themselves, reclaim their inherent worth, and become magnetic to soul-aligned love, expansive opportunities, and the liberated life they were born to lead.
Without ever shrinking, settling, or self-abandoning again.
I’ve been where you are, stuck in cycles of chasing love, begging to be chosen, and abandoning myself again and again in the name of love. But I turned my pain into purpose, and now I’m here to help you do the same.
Each week, I share personal stories, actionable insights, and a blend of spiritual and practical tools to help you heal from past wounds, reclaim your self-worth, and rewrite your love story. You’ll hear everything from vulnerable truths about my own journey to breaking toxic patterns to empowering lessons that will guide you toward creating the healthy, loving relationships you crave.
Join me as we say goodbye to self-abandonment, people-pleasing, and unhealthy dynamics, and hello to radical self-love, emotional freedom, and true empowerment.
It’s time to reclaim the version of you who never had to beg to be chosen.
You ready?
Let’s do this.
The Femme Cast
The Betrayal Series Day 4: The Woman You Were Before vs. The Woman You're Becoming
What if the version of you who was betrayed wasn’t broken — but being rebuilt?
In Day 4 of The Betrayal Series, we're confronting the haunting question so many women ask after betrayal…
“Who am I without him?”
And deeper still…
“Can I ever get back to the confident, radiant woman I used to be when I met him?”
But what if the goal isn’t to go back?
What if she — the woman you were before the heartbreak — attracted that very relationship for a reason?
In this raw and radically honest episode of The Femme Cast, I pull back the curtain on my own experience of losing myself in a relationship, abandoning my dreams, silencing my intuition, and performing just to keep love — only to realize that the true betrayal wasn’t just his... it was my own.
We’ll dive deep into:
🎤 Why trying to "go back" to the woman you were is an injustice to who you're becoming
🎤 The subtle ways we betray ourselves long before anyone else does
🎤 How to use heartbreak as a portal to your next-level identity
🎤 What it means to reclaim your passions, your power, and your real self
🎤 How to stop performing and start aligning — in your relationships, your career, and your everyday life
This episode is a wake-up call. A mirror. A reclamation.
It’s a reminder that the pain wasn’t punishment — it was purpose.
Because you didn’t go through all of this just to stay the same.
You went through it to evolve into the woman you were always meant to be.
🎧Let this episode be your sacred permission slip to stop trying to fit into old versions of yourself — and instead, allow the truest version of you to rise.
If this episode cracked something open in you, share it with a sister who needs this truth, and leave a review so this message can reach more women who are ready to rise.
Ready to stop abandoning yourself for love? To finally rise from the wreckage of betrayal and become the woman you were born to be?
The Sacred Reclamation Series: Betrayal Edition now playing right here on The Femme Cast.
5 soul-stirring podcast episodes + a FREE live healing + activation on July 29th @ 8PM EST
This is your sign.
This is your turning point.
Claim your seat now at the FREE live healing + activation now.
https://thefemmecast.kit.com/masterclass
Hey you guys, what is up and welcome back to the show. Today is day four of the Radical Reclamation series here at the Femcast, and it is who am I, even without him? Right? It is all about reclaiming the woman you lost before the relationship and embracing the woman that you're becoming on the other side of it right On the other side of the betrayal, the cheating, the lying, the manipulation, right? Who are you now on the other side of all that?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And I think it's really important to have this conversation because I think for me, like you know, I can remember a very distinct woman at a moment and I've heard so many women say the same thing is I just wish I could go back to the woman I was before, the confident woman, the radiant woman, the woman who felt like she was on top of the world when this relationship came into her life. And it came in like a whirlwind and it swept you off your feet and you finally started to believe this was your happily ever after. And then shit hit the fan, right? We all want to go back to that version that felt confident, that felt radiant, that felt completely unstoppable and that felt like, when this relationship came into her experience that she had finally found the one, like, why wouldn't you want to feel that again? You know, and I've heard so many women say that, you know, I just want to go back to the one I was before all this shit happened. But it's almost like. It's almost like we're saying, I just want to go back to the undamaged version of myself. Right, like some, like unconsciously, that's what I think we're saying I want to go back to the version I was before all this pain, before all the sadness, before all the stuff that I have going on, all this insecurity, all this self-loathing that I'm experiencing as a result of having gone through this experience. And I get it. I get it, I totally do. And I think that when we move through these experiences, they're so painful, but you know, you have to remember that because they're so painful, they're also wildly transformative.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Right, you did not go through this experience for nothing. You did not go through this pain, this heartbreak, this betrayal, this manipulation for no reason at all. It was not in vain, it was very intentional and it was part of your journey so that you could evolve into the woman that you are becoming. Okay, and I really want you to let that sink in, because you know again, if you turned your back on yourself, your goals, your ambitions, everything that you needed and wanted for your life, and made this relationship the central focus, only to have it betray you and manipulate you and let you down in the end, you know you get to take that back now. You know you get. You get a redo, you get the redo. So what are you going to do differently? And who are you on the other side, right? So the other side, right.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So you know, for me this was a slow and steady evolution over time. There was parts of you know I always say you know, honor who you are at every stage in your life, because who you are always leads to the next stage you're going to go into, or the next version, or the next evolution of you, right, and I think that you know when we look back on you know who we were in the relationship before the relationship, right. What did we love about who we were? What were we excited about? What were our dreams, what were our goals, what were our ambitions at the time, right, and what did we let fall by the wayside? I think that's really important, right, but I think what's also really important to mention or to acknowledge is how centrally focused this relationship became for us, like how this relationship took center stage, first priority, and suddenly everything that was important to you and everything that mattered to you and everything that you wanted to achieve for you now took a backseat or was on the back burner because of this relationship. Right, and I think that's a really important lesson. I mean, maybe that wasn't your story, it certainly was mine. Right, that was my story.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, I put everything on hold and put it on the back burner to give this relationship every chance that it had to thrive. And I did that very consciously, right, very consciously, like I made that decision very consciously. I made that decision very consciously and my biggest lesson in all this is really to never do that again. And that's not to say that I will never compromise in a relationship. I think all healthy relationships require compromise, but I think I can pick and choose what compromises I make and which ones I don't, and I don't believe that my relationships need to take central focus going forward. You know, I believe that I can nurture the relationship any relationships that I'm in and myself simultaneously, you know, and give space and investment in both.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, I don't think it needs to be one or the other, but I think that you know recognizing and spending time meditating on who you were before the relationship, right, what lessons did you learn from the relationship? What was the relationship trying to teach you? What did you learn about yourself? What were the harder lessons it helped you learn, or patterns it helped you to break Beliefs that you held, that you've shifted as a result, and how does all of this inform who you are becoming now? You know, and again you know, going back to yesterday when we talked about burning it all down and starting from a blank slate, you know what if you, the woman, are a blank slate right now, you know how can you piece together all these beautiful parts of yourself to become who you are now without him? Because I think you know so much, so many of us, when we get involved in, you know, a serious relationship that we think is going to stand the test of time, we kind of become or I did, I became this.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know this other half of this relationship, right, I think I did lose part of my not all, not all, like I still kept some of my interests and you know, I kept my values. But values, um, but in terms of how I made my decisions, did my values govern my decisions? No, they did not. Did my passions and interests govern a lot of my decisions? Nope, they did not. His did or not his, but ours, the relationship, it kind of became its own entity, right, um?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And so, you know, looking back to who I was before, what I learned doing and who I was becoming, which is a very different person than who I was before in the relationship, you know, it's like trying to piece a jigsaw puzzle together. It literally is Um, and that's why I say this is a gradual and a gentle unfolding. This is not a process that you can rush or, you know, apply a formula to and have it all find a figured out and fall into place. It doesn't work that way. It is a gradual unfolding and I think what it comes, what it starts with, is who am I really? Who was I before I met this person? Who was I when I was with this person? What did I like about when I was with this person? What didn't I like when I was with this person, and who do I want to be now going forward?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Right, and I think that you know it's not about changing your personality, that's not it. It's. You know your personality. You should always stay true to who you are, stay true to your values and stay true to what matters to you.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But in terms of how you identify yourself, right, I think this is a really important conversation because, you know, maybe before you met this person, you know you identified yourself as a empowered and confident woman. You know out in in, you know, moving in her career, making, making, making moves in her career to move up, to advance herself. Um, you know. And then maybe in the relationship, you kind of lost sight of that. But maybe that wasn't the authentic version of you either, right, maybe you learned a few things along the way and maybe now you know you want to lean into a different identity of who you are.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You get to decide who you are in this life. You get to decide what values matter to you. You get to decide what beliefs you want to carry with you. And I think that you know, when we get into these relationships, it's so easy to let our values and our beliefs and our lifestyle and who we think we should be be influenced by either this person or what it looks like or what we've been taught about what it is to be in a relationship with any person, really, especially if it's like a long-term relationship, right? So I think that we get to re-engineer all of that and finally ask ourselves well, knowing what I know, knowing what I've been through and knowing, you know, who I was before I met this person and what I learned about myself and my life and who I want to be while I was with this person is how do I string that all together now and allow myself to just unfold as the woman that I'm becoming? What felt aligned in my body, what felt like it was really and truly me, what felt forced that I was trying to live up to, or what felt like performing, what felt fake?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, like I can remember, you know, showing up to certain meetings in the office, and I remember showing up to these events and you know we had these like corporate events and webinars and things where you know we would, you know, be face to face with the leadership team. And I can remember, like you know, you know always having to bring your A game to these events, right, and I can remember, like, just the conversations and the way I showed up and the way I presented myself, always feeling so forced and feeling like I had to, like, like I was constantly performing, and these would be like three, four day events. So it would be so exhausting when I came home because I felt like I was performing from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed although the beds were really comfortable in these hotels, let me tell you, and so you know, like it was exhausting. It was exhausting because it felt like a 24 fucking hour performance. So that's kind of how you know, when you're not in a line, when you feel like you're constantly needing to perform or be something other than you're not, what would it look like to truly and just really be yourself and relax into who you are meant to be, right? What would that look like? How would people respond? Right and does it matter? Right, like I know, like you know, we always have to like. You know you always have to play the game a little bit at work, and that's the unfortunate truth about you know, being in a nine to five is oftentimes or any hours really, when you're in a workplace and with other people. You know there's obviously certain things we can and can't do and say and can't say. But it should never be. It should never feel like you have to be a completely different person at work from the person that you are at home right, and when you have that, there's an incongruency happening.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And when you feel most yourself, where do you feel most empowered? Where do you feel most confident? For me, it's always been this podcast, right? This has always been my channel for really being myself and allowing my voice to, to flex my voice, to flex my intuition, to flex, um, you know, sharing my beliefs and my and my intentions with the world, right, um, this has always been my, my go-to right. What does that look like for you? Like, where do you feel your best? Where do you feel the most confident? What makes you feel lit up from the inside out? Right, pay attention to those things and allow more of that side of your personality to kind of flow into all areas of life. You know, we get into this trap, like I mentioned before, of like being a different person at work and being a different person at home, or being a different person with these friends versus those friends, being a different person at home or being a different person with these friends versus those friends.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:What does it look like to stop compartmentalizing who you are and actually show up as the same version of you in all environments? Okay, again, slight tweaks if you're going to work, you know, you know, maybe you can't swear like a truck driver in the office, like I do on this podcast, and I get that right, you know, but you know to a very subtle degree, right, should there be adjustments being made, you should never feel, you know, you have to feel like you have to be somebody that is completely inauthentic and not yourself, to be in that environment. Either number one it's a belief that you've made up about yourself that you need to be that way or number one it's a belief that you've made up about yourself that you need to be that way or number two it really isn't the environment for you. You know, and what you need to do is actually think about, well, what environments do I thrive in and what would feel aligned for me? Right, because you should never feel like you're being an authentic.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I can remember, like I said, the version of me, you know, before this relationship came in, who was confident and just, you know, radiant and just feeling so empowered in the world, you know, and how I kind of put all my dreams, goals and ambitions on the back burner so I can make this relationship a central focus. And then, you know, being introduced to all these new people you know his new friends, community and whatnot and feeling like I had to be this very, very inauthentic version of myself to believe in things that I didn't believe in, to adopt customs and traditions and habits and routines that never felt right for me, and it almost felt not that they were forced upon me, because I don't believe we're ever forced to do anything. I believe I forced them on me because I was trying to fit in again to people, please, right, and to be you know who I felt like I needed to be for the relationship to thrive. There was nothing internally focused about who I was becoming in that relationship, nothing, and I think that was like the biggest mistake that I had made next to not trusting myself, and I think that's where the betrayal comes in, and I think that's why these relationships always act as such powerful mirrors. It's like not again, not to say that you made this person cheat on you.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, cheating is a decision, or manipulation, or lying or whatever is a decision that this person made to do, an action they decided to take that they didn't have to do, you know, they could have communicated, they could have addressed the issues, they could have expressed how misaligned or unvalued or unseen or whatever that they were feeling, but they chose not to and they chose to go that path, and that is their choice. But they chose not to and they chose to go that path, and that is their choice. But is there a part of you that maybe, just maybe, betrayed yourself a little, betrayed yourself, your dreams, your goals, your ambitions? And this relationship was the wake-up call that you needed to say hey, stop it. Like I'm flicking my video, stop it. Is there a part of you that you know would have wanted something different for you, that would have made different choices, different decisions, taken different actions or paths in life had it not been for this relationship?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And I think those are the important decisions that we need to ask ourselves, and I think that you know, like I said in the beginning, to go back to the version of you that you were before this happened is such an injustice to who you are and to your journey, because number one, that's the person who attracted this person in the first place. So why did you want to go back to her? That's number one. Number two you went through this for a reason, and that was to evolve spiritually and to expand and to learn. You know, learn lessons and integrate them into your experience so that you can step into a more empowered version of yourself, so you can experience more healthy, loving relationships, so that you can align with greater opportunities and purpose in your life.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And going back and reverting to the woman that you were before you met this person, that is such a disservice to you and everything that you've been through. Don't let this be in vain. Recognize. This happened for a reason. It was not a coincidence that you went through this relationship. It was trying to transform and evolve you on a deep cellular level, and that's why it had to be so painful, otherwise it would not have done that.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And so, on the other side of whatever this experience was, have done that, and so, on the other side of whatever this experience was, you need to recalibrate to the woman that you are becoming today, and that means taking the woman along who you know you were before, taking the lessons you learned while you were in that experience and rolling them all up and deciding and opening to the possibility of discovering who it is. You want to be moving forward and allowing that to be revealed to you each and every day, a little bit at a time, until you finally have some picture of who it is that you're becoming. Because I can tell you right now you've gone through an experience like this. You're meant to experience a bigger life. You're meant to experience a different life. This did not happen for nothing. You didn't have the rug pulled out from under you for no reason. It's because you're meant to be somewhere else. You're meant to express yourself in different ways. You're meant to just live a different life than maybe you've given yourself permission to even consider.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So I want you to take this experience as the catalyst, right. So, if you can see the betrayal or the lies or the manipulation, if you can see it as a catalyst, a powerful catalyst that is taking you from the woman you once were to the woman that you are becoming and you can choose to look at it that way, and I choose to see this as a catalyst and I choose to see this as a portal to deep and lasting transformation what is this experience trying to teach me, and how might it inform who I'm becoming and how might it give me clues as to who I'm becoming and how can I gently let that unfold and trust that everything will be revealed to me in divine timing? It is a spiritual journey. You are on a spiritual path. This was not random. You're going through a powerful evolution, so please treat it that way, honor it.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:It wasn't about this person. It wasn't about you not being good enough. It wasn't about she was hotter than you and so he slept with her, and you know all of those things that go through your head. I can remember I could not. When I first found out, I could not stop obsessing, day in and day out, when I slept, when I ate, when I worked, when I went to the bathroom, when I showered. All I could think about was how he maybe preferred like, how he preferred her. He obviously must have preferred her to me, or he wouldn't have been doing this. Maybe the sex was better, maybe she gave him more pleasure than I ever could. Did they talk about me? Did they laugh about me? Did they make fun of like how shitty I actually was while they were together? Because I know she knew about me. I know she knew about me. So you know like it would plague me so much.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And you know, in hindsight, you know, coming out of that experience and coming out. And you know, in hindsight, you know, coming out of that experience and coming out. And you know, you know, now being able to see it as this, this powerful evolution that this was was in finally learning and accepting that that that you know, it showed me how low self-worth I had and how, all the ways I didn't feel good enough because that is where I defaulted immediately when this happened. I wasn't good enough. He didn't choose me, he chose to be with somebody else. What's wrong with me? Why can't he love me? You know, all these things that kind of run through your mind, right things that kind of run through your mind, right? So it showed me these beliefs that I have ingrained in me that I needed to basically work through and say no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This had nothing to do with me.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:If this was this something, something was up and and, and you know, somebody wasn't feeling like they were getting what they wanted out of the connection and they, they felt like, you know, they were starting to get the urge to go elsewhere. A healthy partner would have had the conversation, would have said hey, listen, I think we need to address some things here, you know, here's where I'm feeling like the relationship is lacking. Here's where I'm feeling like I'm not being seen or getting the intimacy or the connection that I'm looking for, instead of going that other route. So, and I think that some you know, and one big realization, core realization that I had, was this was never about me, this was always about him. Not you know, but the fact that he couldn't come to me and couldn't tell me and couldn't own up to it and couldn't, you know, be honest about what he was feeling and what he was going through and the decisions that he was making and the actions that he you know, all of it, you know, is is is just compounded evidence that obviously he didn't feel comfortable enough with himself to be honest with me about what he was going through. Obviously, in some way, shape or form, he was ashamed to tell me what he had done. He was ashamed to really talk to me about what he was feeling or what he was thinking. And that's on him, you know, because I gave him every opportunity to talk to me. I gave him every opportunity for us to work through it together.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:That did not happen. What happened was a lot of gaslighting and manipulating and you know, in the end, you know, I finally realized, you know, the power this event had to show me where I had abandoned myself and betrayed myself and my goals, my dreams and my ambitions. And my default response to automatically assume that it's something wrong with me, something that I've done wrong somewhere where I wasn't good enough. And that's where this became the catalyst for the work that I do. And so, if I had not gone through this experience, I never would have gone to Asia, I never would have started this practice, I never would have done the healing that I did, I never would have started talking to you guys about everything that we talk about on this show. It was literally the catalyst that brought all of it.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Had that not happened, I would probably still be in that painfully boring nine to five, you know, and living the same life and, you know, feeling completely unfulfilled and uninspired. Would it have been easy? Maybe, maybe it would have been easier, maybe it would have been harder, I don't know. You know I've said, I said this before. You know, certainly a lot of my decisions that I made on along the journey weren't the easiest ones, but they were the ones that I could live with and so I made them and I would make them again. You know, because, like I said, they were the ones that I could live with and so I made them and I would make them again. You know, because, like I said, they were the decisions that I could live with and that felt aligned for me. Yes, I probably could have made some easier choices, but they wouldn't have felt right and they wouldn't have felt aligned and I made.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Alignment mean more than anything else and you can't do that if you don't work on the stuff that tells you that you're not good enough first. That comes first. Then you can make decisions that align with you and your values, regardless of how other people are going to respond. Because when you get to that point and you realize, hey, it doesn't actually matter, right, how they respond. What matters is that I make the aligned decision for what I need and where I'm at and for my well-being right and for my wellbeing right and healthy, like I'm talking, healthy decisions here.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So you know, let that inform the woman that you are becoming. Take all of it. Take the woman you were before, take the woman you were during, take the lessons she learned, take the experiences that or the epiphanies that she had, the aha moments you know, reverse the limiting beliefs she was struggling with and bring it all into and roll it all up to almost like the starting point of who you are becoming from here on in, and let her reveal herself to you slowly, one little, tiny bit at a time. Don't try and figure it all out in one day. You'll never do it. I promise you that. What I do know is that she will give you clues, she will give you insights, she will give you feedback immediately when you're aligned and when you're not aligned, especially if you learn to listen to your body along the way and learn what feels easeful and relaxed and what feels forced and and icky.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Um, that becomes really important. Um, you can even give her like an alternate, like a, like an alter ego, like you can make her like, make her your Sasha, fierce right. Who do you want to step into? Right and literally almost treat it as a conversation. You know every single day how do you want me to respond to this or that? Or how do you want me to show up? What do you want me to wear? What decisions should we make today? Like, literally, make it like she's like another person in the room with you and I promise you she will reveal herself to you when we work with the future self in session.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Just to give you a little bit of insight oftentimes she's somebody who she's never really standing in front of you. She's almost kind of like here. So like, sorry, I'm like, I know you can't see me and I'm using my hands. She's almost just in front of and above your forehead, so from almost like a 30 degree angle from your forehead. Sitting just in front of your third eye is usually where, um, you know when we do the work about you know tuning into the future version of yourself, and you know what actions she wants you to take and what advice she has for you in this moment. That's where people usually see her. They usually see her sort of 30 degrees from, from her third eye. Um, just up ahead, maybe like about two feet ahead. So, just, you know, focus on your third eye or focus on that area or focus your intention there and see what your future self might look like. See, you know what is she wearing, what does her hair look like and what advice does she have for you each and every day.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:This is a amazing practice. She will inform you, detail by detail, who it is that you're meant to be in this life and how that's meant to unfold, in a very healthy and organic and elevated way that will never feel forced or uncomfortable. And this is something I still do daily, because I believe we're always unfolding and I believe we're always learning and we're always elevating and we're always growing. So I always tune into the next. You know my future self, or my higher self, or you know over soul, higher soul, whatever you want to call it as my guide, my decision maker, because she knows where I'm going and she knows the fastest way to get me there. So it is honestly a superpower. It's one of my favorite tools to use in personal development and I strongly encourage you to start doing that. Start bringing those pieces of yourself, the past pieces, the pieces that were in the relationship before the relationship, the lessons that you learned, bringing it all to the table and asking your future self what the fuck do you want me to do with all of this now? Why did I go through this? Who am I becoming? How was this informing who I'm becoming and what is my next step? These are the really important questions you need to ask this next level version of you.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Okay, so that about wraps up day four. Tomorrow is the last day. Day five we're talking about trusting yourself and trusting love again, which was probably one of the hardest steps in the process, I think, for me in terms of coming back, and probably took the longest to be quite honest for me in terms of coming back and probably took the longest to be quite honest. So I'm going to help you, hopefully. Um, make that maybe collapse that timeline a little bit. Make it a little bit quicker. Um, so that's what we're covering tomorrow. Um, that'll be live on the podcast Same time. Um, if you love this episode, please leave a positive rating and review. I beg you to get this out into the world so that other women who have gone through these experiences can actually listen to this and get the support that they need. And don't forget, the masterclass is happening also next week. The details for all that are in the show notes below, so make sure to sign up for that and that's it. Until next time. You guys massive love.
