The Femme Cast
Welcome to The Femme Cast—the podcast for women who are truly ready to break free from toxic relationship cycles, choose themselves, and become a magnet for the love they deserve.
I’m Maria Rei, aka The Femme Coach—Master Energy Healer, Radical Self-Love Leader, and Relationship Mentor. I’ve been where you are, stuck in cycles of chasing love, waiting for validation, and abandoning myself in the name of relationships. But I turned my pain into purpose, and now I’m here to help you do the same.
Each week, I share personal stories, actionable insights, and a blend of spiritual and practical tools to help you heal from past wounds, reclaim your self-worth, and rewrite your love story. You’ll hear everything from vulnerable truths about my own journey to breaking toxic patterns to empowering lessons that will guide you toward creating the healthy, loving relationships you crave.
Join me as we say goodbye to self-abandonment, people-pleasing, and unhealthy dynamics, and hello to radical self-love, emotional freedom, and true empowerment.
It’s time to choose yourself and step into the love you were always meant for. Ready?
Let’s do this.
The Femme Cast
From Breakup to Breakthrough: The Lessons Hidden in Heartbreak and Opening Yourself Up To Love Again
Every relationship, whether fleeting or long-term, leaves a mark. Some teach us what we don’t want, while others reveal what we truly desire. But if we don’t pause to reflect, we risk repeating toxic cycles and attracting the same emotionally unavailable partners.
In this episode of The Femme Cast, we’re diving deep into the lessons our past relationships leave behind—how they shape our self-worth, our non-negotiables, and our ability to attract healthy, secure love. Because healing isn’t just about moving on—it’s about moving forward with clarity.
In this episode, we’ll talk about:
- How to stop repeating toxic relationship patterns
- The key lessons heartbreak teaches us about self-worth & boundaries
- Manifestation techniques to attract emotionally available love
- Embracing vulnerability as a superpower in relationships
- Creating a love life that reflects your deepest desires
Your past relationships don’t define you—they prepare you. The more you honor your growth, the more aligned love you attract. It’s time to choose yourself first.
Ready to step into your Magnetic Love Era? If so, The Magnetic Love Story Manifestation Method is now open for enrollment.
https://www.thefemmecast.com/products/courses/view/1180320
Hey you guys, what is up? And welcome back to the show. I'm so excited and grateful that you're here. Welcome if you're new. I'm trying a new setup today, so hopefully you guys can hear me. Okay, we are trying to capture video of the podcast. Now it's not going to be available on wherever you listen to your podcast, but you will see it on my socials. Hopefully one day Buzz Sprout will get their act together and I can actually create a video podcast, but until that time, you probably won't see these unless you're following me on Instagram at TheFemCast. So please do follow me there. Interesting story.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So I'm going to kind of wing these next few episodes. I want to make this a little bit more conversational. I do have my phone with me where I have some notes, and I also want to dissect a few things as we get into the conversation today. So, as you guys know, if you've been following me for a while, at least if you've been following me the last few weeks, you'll know that I recently went through a breakup. I went through a breakup in December. It was my choice, my decision. It was the right thing for me to do at the time and I have zero regrets for the decision that I've made and I took my time and I kind of just took some time to myself and kind of hibernated over the holidays and kind of reflected on some things know, some things that I think went really well in the relationship and some of the things that I really loved about it and some of the things that I, kind of you know, in retrospect, would probably want to do a little bit different. You know, like, what do I want to create in my next relationship going forward? What did I love about it? What didn't I love about it? What would I love to see instead? These are all really important questions that I ask myself anytime I end any cycle or period or era in my life. It's almost like a lessons learned, like if you've ever had them in the office, you know where you like, you know you launch a big project and you have lessons learned at the end of it to see how well you did Same thing.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You kind of, you know, go through your relationships and you know, as you release them, you kind of ask yourself, well, what did I love about this relationship? What wasn't so great about this relationship? What lessons have I learned that I want to bring into the next relationship, right, simple process. I do it every time. Obviously, you know, if it wasn't a relationship that you were ready to end, it's a harder process, right? But when you're the one who's made the decision to end the relationship, it's easy to move through that and really gain some valuable insights as to what it is that you want.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And I think that you know we put so much pressure I think, especially as women, sometimes we put so much pressure into every relationship to determine whether or not it's the one and if the one's going to stand the test of time. And you know, one thing I've always kind of really enjoyed and prided myself for is the ability to kind of, you know, move through relationships and recognizing that each one of it, each one of these relationships, has a beautiful story to it. Each one of these relationships has a powerful lesson to be learned. Each one of these relationships is in some way, shape or form, teaching me about what it is that I want in my ideal relationship or in some way preparing me for that relationship. Sorry, there's so many tracks going by right now. So you know a big part of you know this journey into healing your relationship patterns is being open to the possibility of, you know, moving through several relationships before you find the one that you really want to have that longevity and that long-term commitment with right, and that gets to be okay, like permission slip, to just let it be okay, to just get out there, see what you like, see what you don't like and learn from your mistakes. Right and start to apply what you've learned, to see the different outcomes that you can create once you start applying the lessons that you've learned. It's truly powerful.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I truly believe that our most powerful spiritual evolutions happens within our relationship dynamics. Like the people that we meet in this lifetime and I'm not just talking partners, like I'm talking everybody, like I'm talking like partners one night stands, flings, friendships, work relationships, bosses, coworkers, peers, friendships, work relationships, bosses, coworkers, peers, family members you know enemies in high school. Like I feel, like you know, we all kind of come into this life together to kind of trigger and provoke each other and help each other evolve. And I think that you know each relationship has a nugget of wisdom for our evolution that needs to be paid attention to. And so you know, from that perspective, there's so many things you can appreciate and gain from each relationship that you're in, even the most painful ones, and I get it. I know that process isn't easy and, believe me, I'm still trying to find the nuggets of gold for my relationship from like 10 years ago. You know it's there. I know that it's there and I've witnessed and come to the realization of several, and I know there's more for me there to uncover and that gets to be okay. So you know all that to say.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Your journey through relationships gets to be a little bit more transient, I think, than we've given it permission to be. So I just wanted to leave you with that thought on that before I go off on a whole other tangent and go back to my notes as to what I was supposed to talk about today. So what I wanted to talk to you guys about today was the fact that you know I've gone through this phase. I've taken the time off. I really reflected on, you know, what I loved and didn't love about the relationship and what I want to take with me moving forward and what I'm ready to leave in the past.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And you know a couple of the things that you know really stood out for me in this having this whole relationship, lessons learned and closing off the relationship is. You know how much I learned and appreciated being in this experience, because it really helped me to open my heart again. I think, after my seven-year relationship hiatus, my heart was very, very, very closed and I think that this experience was the exact experience that I needed to help me just open my heart again and be open to the possibility of being vulnerable and in a relationship, because I think, you know, we get so used to being so hardcore, independent that you know, sometimes it can get really uncomfortable letting our guard down and letting ourselves be seen and held and, you know, witnessed and really expressing ourselves in a vulnerable way. So it was a great way for me to kind of, you know, witnessed and really expressing ourselves in a vulnerable way. So it was a great way for me to kind of, you know, get back in the water and just start sharing again and start opening myself up again and in an environment where I felt so safe and loved, you know. So, for that respect, I mean, I think that for me was probably the most magical part of this relationship and the fact that we did meet under such magical circumstances.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, like I was, um, when we met, I, you know, I, I, I had decided a couple of months prior that I wanted to start, you know, calling in a relationship, and so I started, if and I shared this before on the podcast so I started writing my love letters every day. It's my, my love letter manifestation method, right? Um, I started writing these love letters every day and I would just like I would write little love notes every single day to somebody, um, you know, something I was grateful for or something that I appreciated in them, or just something that we did that day that I really enjoyed, just as if I was writing it to a partner. And I did this every day for a month. And then we went to no, I think it was month. I did this every day for at least a month, maybe five weeks, five and a half weeks, and then my friend and I went to, we went on vacation.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Um, we went South, um, to kind of like lay on a beach and, just like you know, drink margaritas and, um, you know, just not move until we have to get up to go eat poop or get ready for dinner, right, um? And so, um, you know, there we were on the beach, and I remember the couple of weeks before leaving, I had this dream that I was by these cliffs, these rocks, in the water, and I just saw the turquoise blue water. I saw the white sand along the beach, I saw the palm trees like lining the beach, and then I saw like the big rock formation along like the cove Right. And I remember being in my dream, being in the water, and and then suddenly something pulled me underwater, and so to me water always means emotion, so something really pulled me into my emotional body and then just kind of dragged me through the water and pulled me up right in front of like the rocks where the cove was. And I remember coming and in my dream I remember like this hand pulling me out of the water and I looked up and I couldn't see who I was looking at, but I remember saying, oh, my God, it's you.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And then I woke up and, lo and behold, a couple weeks later we go on this trip and there we are. It's this beautiful, sandy, white sandy cove with turquoise water and palm trees lying in the beach. And right by that, the corner of that cove, was where I met him. So it was like just the perfect reminder that magic can happen. It can strike anywhere, you can meet him anywhere and it can happen when you least expect it. To just believe in the miracle again and believe that, you know, these types of magical happenstances happen.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, I think I was completely jaded to thinking, oh my God, so has my life resorted to online dating, which, oddly enough, I'm back online, you guys, which I'll share in the next episode. There's so much to share, there's so much to share, there's so much to be shared from the online space. So I think you know that was one thing I. Another thing I really appreciated about that relationship and I think, the one thing that you know, if I reflect back and I think, well, what did I learn, like, what did this teach me about what I want?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know going forward and I think you know because we were two from two. You know very different backgrounds and you know going forward, and I think you know, because we were two from two, you know very different backgrounds and you know, having such massive cultural differences, you know in terms of where I'm from and where he's from I really realized the importance of having that. Not that everything has to be the same, but I think relationships work so much better and so much more smoothly when there is kind of a cultural familiarity right. And again, it doesn't mean that you have to be exactly the same, but you know our worlds could not be more different and so you know I think that sometimes created, um, some, some, a lot of challenges right between us and I think you know it, it's it. It made us both come to the relationship with two totally different set of expectations. So I think sometimes you know just that check-in in the beginning, um, you know, are your values the same? Do you both want the same things? And when I say want the same things, you know be really specific.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know one person's happily ever after does not look the same as somebody else's happily ever after. So getting really clear on what everybody's happily ever after looks like because it could look very different from person to person and I think that you know being open to being open to you know, obviously, other possibilities that maybe you haven't thought of is always a good and healthy thing. But if you know that there's things in your that you see for yourself, for your future, that are kind of non-negotiable, there's no point in bringing somebody into that future that's not gonna have the same non-negotiables, you know, because then you're always, someone's always gonna be sacrificing and adjusting. And that's not to say that relationships don't come with a compromise and a responsibility to nurture and care for that relationship. But, and you know, there's always going to be cases where you know well, this person wants these 10 things and that person wants these 10 things, but only really two or three are non-negotiables. The rest we can kind of negotiate on right, just make sure your non-negotiables are in line.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Everything else you can kind of figure out. You know what I mean. Like let's not be so hardcore that we don't leave room for magic or for being surprised or for maybe being open to the possibility that there's something else that we haven't thought of, that we might really enjoy in our life, you know. But definitely get really clear on what your non-negotiables are and make sure you're both on the same page. Because you know, when it comes down to non-negotiables it makes it really hard.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And I think sometimes, you know, we fall into this trap and I think he was doing this quite a bit where it's like we say we're okay with the other person's non-negotiables, but we know that we're not, because we just want the relationship to work out so much are, and to be really okay with walking away from a relationship that doesn't meet our non-negotiables, because we don't want to give up our non-negotiables or have somebody else that we love give up theirs. You know, love is a beautiful thing but it can be a very difficult thing because sometimes love means accepting that the person is not who you wish they could be, you know, and then just being okay with that and allowing them to to live their life on their terms the way they want to live it. Um, you know, obviously easier said than done when we, when we love someone and we're attached to them, but the most loving thing we can do is let somebody live the life that they've always dreamed of living, rather than trying to force them to acclimate to whatever it is that we've decided our future needs to look like Right, so sorry, now there's a train going by, whatever. We're rolling with it today. So that's kind of what I got from that relationship.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I feel like I learned a lot, I experienced a lot and I opened myself up to the magic again and who knows what happens next. And I am in this place of amazing like just possibilities, just open to possibility, right when I haven't been in a very long time. I don't think I've been in this energy since, probably like my early 20s, where I feel like, oh, like I wonder, wonder what's next. But it's not just about the relationship that's around the corner. It's about what's around the corner with life, with relationships, with friendships, with this podcast and what I want to create here.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Um, and so you know, having gone through this experience, I'm really grateful because it's really opened me up and I think that we can all benefit from experiences that open up our heart to love, to all kinds of support and abundance coming in, because that is what happens when we open ourselves up. When we open ourselves up and I think you know there's so much magic in being able to just be okay with being vulnerable and and knowing that you know the right people will appreciate that in us and will love that about us. You know I've spent so much of my life just trying to bend and adjust and alter who I am, trying to fit into everyone else's expectations. It is so freeing to finally be able to say like I can show up as who I am and not give a flying fuck what anybody else thinks anymore. You know, so many people didn't agree with my relationship that I was in for a whole slew of reasons, one of which the main one was our differences in our backgrounds and and I get it. But for me it was such a heartwarming experience that I would do it over again in a heartbeat, knowing, knowing the gift that I got from that experience right and and being able to open my heart again and being able to just um, just feel like giddy again. You know where I haven't in a very long time.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So don't let anybody define what your relationships look like. Don't let anybody define you know what love looks like. You know love can come in so many different ways and there's so many magical love stories out there for you to experience. And I think that the one thing that I can honestly say for me in the last, like several years, even before my relationship hiatus, to be honest is I've had the most amazing love stories. Now, mind you, I had a lot of healing to do and I probably would have enjoyed those love stories a lot more had I done my healing first, but nonetheless, I've experienced the most amazing love stories a lot more had I done my healing first, but nonetheless I've had, I've experienced the most amazing love stories. Each one of them taught me something, each one of them prepared me for the next one, and all of them together, I know we're doing the work that needed to be done in order to prepare me for, you know, the one that would kind of stand the test of time.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And here's the thing I'm in a position right now where I feel like, yeah, I'm ready to start seeing people again, but I'm also really unattached to when or how, and I'm also, I think, really okay with just just being on my own for a while again and just kind of seeing what I want to create with my life and putting some energy and focus, you know, back into my work and some of my passion projects, you know, and I think, I think that's a really healthy place to be and that's always where I've always found the greatest love stories was from that place. That, and also taking care of myself, like ridiculously. Like like taking care of my emotional body, my, my spiritual body, my physical body. Um, that's not to say you need to be perfect, that's a load of crap, you do not need to be perfect. Um, I literally almost I literally just took my dog to the groomers and I swear the guy next to me was like trying to flirt with me when I'm covered.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I'm in my track pants, I'm like I'm covered, I have a Pomeranian, a very fluffy Pomeranian, who's shedding right now and her fur was everywhere. It was all over my face. It was like stuck on my lip gloss, like it was disgusting. And here's this guy like trying to have a conversation with me and I'm like, yeah, right now it's like I'm holding her because she's like vicious, and I'm like, okay, like right now is really not the best time to be hitting on me, just FYI, but like I mean, it's one of those things when you start to open yourself up to the possibilities of meeting people, it can literally happen anywhere and it can be miraculous and magical and each one of those experiences can teach us something about who we are and what it is that we want. So that's kind of the message of today.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So if you've ended a relationship, whether it's recent or whether we're talking about you know ages ago, and you feel like the energy is still kind of there, right, and we still kind of think about them all the time, and you're always like wondering what are they thinking what are they doing? Or I'm picking up Pomeranian fluff off my lip as I speak. You know, really good exercise to do is to kind of reflect on. You know, what did I love about this person? What didn't I love about this person? What would the opposite of what I didn't love look like Because that's obviously something you would love in an ideal partner what did it teach me and how can I apply what it taught me today? Four really powerful questions. And really helps you to understand what it is that you're looking for.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So one of the things that I will share with you guys is so we're launching a new mini course at the Femcast. It's called the Magnetic Love Story Manifestation Method, where I've kind of pulled all these pieces together right to help you really manifest and call in the relationship that you want, especially if you're somebody who you know you've been stuck in toxic patterns for so long. You just want to manifest some healthy relationships, some really good, you know amazing love stories to like tell all your friends over coffee. You know, you've, you've, maybe you've. You know you've had your heart broken once or twice and maybe you don't know what it is you're doing wrong or why you keep calling in these toxic partners. Or you know, maybe you're just you've been alone for so long, you don't even know where to begin with.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know calling someone in because you know, maybe you were like me where I was in a seven-year relationship hiatus not intentional, like I didn't say I'm going to be on my own for seven years, it just kind of happened because I was just so burnt out from like the constant gaslighting, cheating, lying, manipulating, ghosting, breadcrumbing, nonsense that I'd been putting up with, right? So I kind of just took a break and just said you know, no more relationships for a little while. And then, when I started to get back into it, I realized not only did I feel like a fish out of water trying to get back into the dating pool, but I had no idea what I, what I wanted. I only knew exactly what I didn't want. It no, exactly what I didn't want, is the proper way to say that, maria, I only knew exactly what I didn't want. And so you know, like how do I go out there without knowing what I want, only knowing what I don't want? I'm only going to keep attracting what I don't want.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:It's a law of manifestation, law of you know what's it called Attraction? There's another law that I'm thinking of, but I can't remember it right now. Anyway, you know what I'm talking about, right? And so you know that's when I started to kind of pull all this together and and and and. You know, slowly it's kind of evolved. The process has really evolved over time and I think, you know, last year with that whole, or the year before with that love story manifestation method, it all just kind of came together and then there was that whole. I think that I had that AI prompt on my socials for a little while and that kind of added to it as well. So it's been a process that I've been like bringing together now for several years and it has honestly proven to be so freaking magical.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And I'm going to share like my online experience with you guys in the next episode, but just to give you like a heads up. Like I've got myself back online again. I hated online dating for the longest time. I've got myself back online again. I hated online dating for the longest time. I've actually called in some really great possible partners. Like I haven't met them yet, it's still very early in the game, but you know, these are really decent guys they're. You know they're great conversationalists. They seem to be very intuitive, very attentive, you know totally different experience from the toxic mess that I was experiencing last time I was online, which was several years ago, you know. So the methods work if you put them to work. You know what I mean. Like they actually do work. So that's available.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:It's live as of this week, depending on when I post this, but if you're seeing this, then rest assured that it's live. It's on sale. Now the price goes up on. It's going to go up twice. So I'm going to do the first round the first week of March, and then the second round the second week of March, and then the second round the second week of March and then after March 17th, when the program is officially live, it will be regular price. So try and get in before the 17th if you can. The details are in the show notes. Until next time, you guys. Massive love.
