The Femme Cast
Welcome to The Femme Cast—the podcast for women who are truly ready to break free from toxic relationship cycles, choose themselves, and become a magnet for the love they deserve.
I’m Maria Rei, aka The Femme Coach—Master Energy Healer, Radical Self-Love Leader, and Relationship Mentor. I’ve been where you are, stuck in cycles of chasing love, waiting for validation, and abandoning myself in the name of relationships. But I turned my pain into purpose, and now I’m here to help you do the same.
Each week, I share personal stories, actionable insights, and a blend of spiritual and practical tools to help you heal from past wounds, reclaim your self-worth, and rewrite your love story. You’ll hear everything from vulnerable truths about my own journey to breaking toxic patterns to empowering lessons that will guide you toward creating the healthy, loving relationships you crave.
Join me as we say goodbye to self-abandonment, people-pleasing, and unhealthy dynamics, and hello to radical self-love, emotional freedom, and true empowerment.
It’s time to choose yourself and step into the love you were always meant for. Ready?
Let’s do this.
The Femme Cast
The Relationship Void: Navigating Loneliness, Letting Go, and Finding Yourself
In this raw and heartfelt episode of The Femme Cast, I dive into the often-overlooked space I call the "relationship void"—that limbo between letting go of toxic relationships and stepping into something new. I share my personal journey of breaking free from unaligned connections, confronting my biggest trigger—loneliness—and learning to use this transitional period for growth and self-discovery.
Expect honest reflections, some yawns (I recorded this in my pajamas, after all), and practical insights on how to navigate the quiet moments in life that hold the potential for profound transformation.
What you'll hear in this episode:
- What the "relationship void" is and how it shows up.
- How loneliness can trigger old patterns—and how to stop them in their tracks.
- My childhood experience with isolation and how it shaped my relationship patterns.
- The difference between being alone and feeling lonely.
- Why distractions can keep us stuck—and how to embrace the quiet instead.
- Tips for building self-compassion and creating space for healing.
🎧 Ready to break free from toxic patterns and transform loneliness into a season of growth? Tune in now to uncover how to make the most of the relationship void and start rewriting your love story today.
Ready to rewrite your love story and attract the relationship you deserve? Click the link below for free resources, transformative sessions, and more.
https://www.thefemmecast.com/links
Hey you guys, what is up? Welcome back. I'm still in my pajamas and it's 7.30 pm On a Monday. I'm so excited I can't even tell you. That's not to say that I didn't have a ton of shit to do today, because I did it, but I did it in my pajamas, hooray.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Now let's get into today's episode. I kind of wanted to talk about the relationship void today Because it is happening for me right now as we speak. So you know, this is kind of that limbo era where you've kind of limbo period where you've kind of let go of or lost. Sorry guys, I keep yawning through this episode. If I can get through this episode without yawning, it'll be a miracle. I had to actually stop and rerecord but, um, I had to let go of a lot of relationships back in December which we're going to talk about, and I've created all this space. The problem is I'm not utilizing it properly and I I'm and I'm calling myself out right now. Okay, I was debating whether to do this on Substack or whether to do it here, whether it was going to be a short little thing or whether it was going to be a longer form. Anyway, I've decided to do it here, but please know that I'm starting to put daily or not daily, but regular updates on my Subst stack on how I'm actually living and breathing, what it is that I preach to you guys every freaking week on this freaking mic.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So back in December, you guys know, I broke up with my relationship right before Christmas. I also let go of a lot of other friendships as well. Not everybody came with me. Not everybody who was in my life in 2025 came with me or 2024 came with me. Not everybody who was in my life in 2025 came with me or 2024 came with me in 2025. I was really clear and intentional about who I wanted to bring on the journey with me.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, I spent the last couple of years really trying to make a square peg, fit into a round hole with a lot of relationships and trying to constantly mold myself and force myself and adjust and second guess everything I say and analyze. Like you know, it was just like this codependent hot mess of like me, worrying about everything that I say and trying to analyze everything they were saying and realizing that you know what. I wouldn't be doing any of this if these relationships actually felt aligned for me and you know there was awkward conversation. I navigated the awkward conversations. I set the boundaries, I upheld the boundaries. I spoke my truth where I needed to, I called out, you know, what I thought was not okay behavior. I, you know, was honest when I was feeling vulnerable or feeling hurt or when I was missing. You know, when I was picking up on something and wanted clarification, I did all the things.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And at the end of the day, you know, I always say all we can do is communicate our needs, our boundaries, our emotions and what we're perceiving. That's all we can do Beyond that. Like you know, if somebody doesn't want to reciprocate or communicate what they're feeling or what they're going through, what they're struggling with or what their boundaries are, or you know what their issues are in the relationship, we cannot help that boundaries are, or you know what their issues are in the relationship. We cannot help that. And so, short of pulling teeth to try and have these conversations, which I tried to have several times, I just said you know what I've, I've made it, I've made an effort, I've tried to have these conversations. It was uncomfortable as fuck every time, but I did it because the front, you know, the relationship meant something to me, but it was just being met with, I don't know, stonewalling, I don't know what you want to call it. It was just people just don't want to have the uncomfortable conversations and we really do need to, you know. Anyway, long story short, I broke up with my partner. I broke up with a whole bunch of other relationships that were kind of falling by the wayside, and now I'm in this relationship void, and I will tell you right now, I have not been using it like a good client. I've been my own worst client because I realized today, so, um, you guys know well, some of you know I don't know, maybe not all of you, but some of you know I'm a huge fan of Daisy Jones and the Six.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I've watched that series multiple times. It's like the thing I put on. When there's a thing on TV, I have it playing in the background, even though I'm not really watching it, but I hear the music, I hear the dialogue ground, even though I'm not really watching it, but I hear the music, I hear the dialogue and I'm like I can see the scenes. And so today, what started last night was a very impromptu, unplanned rebrand of the podcast and my website, to be kind of. You know, daisy Jones inspired, which, I mean, is pretty cool. Like I'm really excited about it. I'm like this looks really good, like I'm, this is different. I've never done anything, at least, my designs are pretty clean and and and minimalist, but this is, this is different. This is not my usual thing, so I'm kind of, I'm kind of stoked about it.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But you know, like, having said that, I had number one I had a ton of actual practical things I needed to do today which I didn't get to. And second, I'm still in my pajamas. Third, I just tried to camouflage and hide a yawn again, I don't know if you heard that. And four, I realized I've gotten really good at keeping myself incredibly busy to avoid what's going on on the inside. Now I'm going to share a little story with you.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:For me, like, we always talk about breaking toxic relationship patterns on this show, right, and when you work with me one-on-one or whatever any program, we always talk about breaking toxic relationship patterns and becoming a magnet for healthy relationships. So it's really important that we identify our triggers, right. For me, my trigger is loneliness and being left alone. Loneliness and being left alone, and, and the reason why I have that trigger is when I was younger, um, I was put into a daycare where, when I was in trouble, they would lock me in a basement bathroom, and so my mom came to pick me up. I was like a total bedwetter when I was younger. Um, I don't know what was going on at the time, but obviously there was, you know, obviously anxiety was always kind of there for me.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:It was always a, it was always a part of me, from when I was little, and I guess the anxiety was, was, was triggering bedwetting episodes, and you know, I would always, you know, when they put us down for a nap, I would wet my bed and then I would get in trouble and then, you know, the ladies who would run the daycare would literally take me downstairs into this unfinished basement, lock me in this bathroom until my mom came to pick me up, like hours later, um, and, and you know, sitting, and I had blocked out a lot of these memories until very recently. And, um, you know, when I think back to very and what's very fragmented, right, like it's a very fragmented memory For those of you if you've ever suffered like a memory, not a memory loss, but, like you know, a traumatic event that made you forget, made it difficult for you to recall the memory. You know that it comes back very fragmented and you can't really piece all of the things together. You just kind of see little flashes. Right, I can remember, you know, just feeling incredibly lonely, and then you know when they would let me out.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Shortly before my mom came to pick me up, even though I was hurt, I was scared, I was angry, I was just so happy to be out with the other kids and to not be alone anymore that I did everything I could to be nice and be pleasing and be entertaining and make everyone laugh, so that they would let me stay with them, you know. So for me, loneliness has always been a big trigger, because it reminds me of those moments when I was a little girl and I was locked in the bathroom, and so for me, that's been my driving force in my toxic relationships. I always say what's your driving force? What is it that you're avoiding? What's the pain that you're running from or trying to numb or avoid facing every day? And for me, it was always the loneliness, you know. And it's really funny because I've had to make good friends with loneliness along the way many, many, many times, and you know, through my spiritual practice and through you know this evolution that I've, you know, been on the last 10 years. I know that some of the most amazing things that can happen to you in this life happen to you when you're in a period of being alone, when the distractions are gone, when there's nothing to keep you busy and all you have to listen to is yourself for a season. And it's in those moments where really truly magical things start to happen. And yet, even though I know all of this and I preach it every single freaking day what did I do today After I finished work at two o'clock?
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So I work from 6 am till 2 pm and instead of doing the thing that I said that I was going to do, which was okay, I'm going to take a nice long hot shower and do my self-care. Today, maybe I'll go for a walk, I'll go to the cafe, I'll do some journaling, I'll do this, I'll do that, I'll do that. What did I do? I spent the entire day on my computer on Canva, working on this Daisy Jones inspired rebrand. It was fun and it was creative, but do you know how? I know that I went above and beyond. There's creative that is healthy, and then there's creative that is I don't want to say toxic, but not healthy. We'll just say not healthy.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:It started to feel frantic, like I started to now do everything over again and then fix that and then, and then obsess over this, and then I changed this one detail. So now I had to change it and cascade the same change off all the documents and all the templates that I had created before it and it just became almost borderline manic and I stopped and I said, okay, okay, here we are 7.30. We've had four and a half hours since we finished our shift. I did make a nice carrot ginger soup that I managed to accomplish, which was great. I had a great dinner, um. But yet here we are 7 30 now it's almost eight o'clock and we have not accomplished anything on the to-do list that we said that we were going to do for ourselves today.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:We had a very rough week. We were taking care of our parents all week, we were tired, we hadn't slept well and we were going to spend a few hours pampering and soothing and reflecting. And what did I do? I spent it all on Canva, frantically trying to fix all these different parts of my brand and redoing and redoing things again and again and again until it was beyond perfect. So why Well? I realized as I was checking the clock and I'm like, oh shoot, there goes the day. Do I take a shower now? And then I was like, no, no, I want to finish this, I want to finish that.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And when I started to go back into it, I'm like, wait a second, I've been at this now, this unplanned activity that literally came to my mind last night at 10 o'clock as I was watching Daisy Jones. It started with just a podcast cover, like a new cover thing for my podcast cover art, and is now has steamrolled into an entire rebrand. Almost overnight I've barely slept. I've worked on it all day. I was working on it until two o'clock last night and, honest, quite honestly, I'm like okay, I know what this means.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I have been down this merry-go-round many times. This is me avoiding that very thing that I always run to relationships for and I always try people please my entire life to keep my relationships with me, because I didn't want to lose them, because my biggest fear was being left alone. And so, now that I've downsized my circle of friends and my, you know, ended my relationship and now you know there is all this void, there is all this space in my emotional bandwidth, in my time and energy, because I'm no longer worrying about these relationships anymore and spending all my energy trying to navigate them and figure them out and figure out what needs to be done in order to bring them back to life and put them on the right trajectory. I now have all this free time that I did not have before. I always say, when you leave a relationship that you've been managing and spending all your time managing, one of the best and most therapeutic things you can do when you walk away from that relationship is start to put all your energy and focus into the things that you kept putting off because you said you didn't have time to do because you were so busy in a relationship. But instead, here we are and I ask myself.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I ask myself these three questions, and these are the three questions I always come back to when it comes to breaking toxic patterns, and they are what is it in me that I, what am I feeling that I'm avoiding right now? What do I need and how can I give that to myself? Right, this is what's going to break that codependent pattern. So when I reflect on, you know, what is it that I'm avoiding right now? But it was that I'm avoiding feeling, as I'm avoiding feeling lonely, you know it doesn't feel good, um, but there's being, there's being lonely and then there's being alone. Being alone, I know, is a wonderful thing and I have spent so much time alone, you know, living alone and self-reflection and like intentionally creating blocks of time for me to be alone, traveling alone, like I mean, there's been times where, you know, I've been alone for days on end. It's never been an issue.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But I think, in this time and space that I'm in, you know, there's a lot of stuff that I've still left to process, with a lot of these relationships that I've let go of because it all kind of happened at the same time. So I think there's a little bit of me avoiding dealing with all of that and it's feeling still a little raw on the inside. So I think, in terms of what am I feeling that I'm avoiding? It's that rawness, the grief that's still there, the hurt that's still there, the anger in some cases that's still there, and also this underlying. You know there's always two layers, especially to, you know, things like anger and rage and resentment. There's these two layers to things. Right, there's the unhealed stuff that we're always projecting onto other people, but then, beneath that, there's always the well, I don't want to feel alone and I'm afraid, with all the, these were significant relationships for me and there's this fear that, now that I've let them go, that I'm going to be alone, and I think that's what's really happening beneath the surface and why I've been trying to keep myself busy with so many different things and, at the end of the day, I really did not need to do a rebrand today, on January 27th of 2025, it wasn't even something I was thinking about yesterday at this time, and now here we are, 24 hours later. It's almost complete, like in terms of like having it set up in the back end, right, like the templates and whatnot, but it's like wow, like it just blows my mind how much I can occupy myself and keep myself busy rather than focus on what I knew I needed to focus on.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Even before I ended these relationships, I actually had intentionally said, once I do these things that I know my heart is calling me to do, which is, you know, walk away from these relationships. I'm going to be really intentional about. You know how I spend my time. I'm going to take my time to heal. I'm going to do all the good things that we always say right. And yet here I am. I've spent almost 24 hours working on this rebrand that literally came out of fucking nowhere. Thank you, daisy, for that.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But instead of doing the real introspective work so you know, I sat down today, like I said what am I feeling that I'm avoiding, what do I need and how can I give that to myself? Well, I'm avoiding feeling alone. What do I need, honestly, right now, I think I need to just have a rest. I think I need to journal what I've been avoiding. I think I need to give my emotions a voice. I think something needs to be heard, something needs to to not go unnoticed. So I think what I can do to give that to myself is sit down and just do some auto-writing about what I'm really truly feeling beneath the surface, um, and then, at the end of it, you know what? I would love to just remind myself that it's in these moments that miracles actually happen.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, I know that when I'm alone, I'm not lonely. You know I'm alone because something is shifting, something is happening An old version of me is dying and then a new one is being born. Old beliefs are being let go of, old attachments, old codependencies are being released, old toxic behaviors are being let go A self-sabotaging, whatever it is. Whatever the work is, the work is done when we're alone and when we come out on the other side, we're always a different, better, more elevated version of ourselves. So I know this and I know that. I know and this is all like mindset too, right, like, if you're in a phase like this, listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth right now Like I know that the universe loves a vacuum, the universe loves space, and I know that, with all this beautiful space that I've made in my life, that the universe has so much room to come flooding in with abundance, with grace, with love, with everything that you would want in a fulfilling life. And so I know that no-transcript, no-transcript.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, yeah, it was shitty that that happened. Yeah, absolutely Like no child deserves to be treated that way. You know no child deserves to be treated that way. And obviously, like, other children go through much worse experiences than what I endured. And maybe you're listening to this and you're thinking, wow, I went through so much worse. Or maybe you're totally at the other end, thinking, well, I didn't go through anything that that you know sad or or difficult to go through. You know what? It doesn't matter what your trauma is, what your experience was. What matters is is how it affected you when it happened. And the best way to start reverse engineering that effect is to be the voice that you wish you had in those moments.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So, in those moments, I wish I had somebody who would just like you know, I remember this girl came down once and helped me change my clothes and she wasn't supposed to come down, but I just I felt so safe and so seen because she had come down. She had acknowledged that I was comfortable, she acknowledged that I needed help and she showed up to help me when I needed it. And I think that's what you know I get to do for myself right now. You know I get to help myself where I need it.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I like knowing that I'm going through this period, knowing that I'm adjusting, knowing that I'm still healing, knowing that I'm still grieving, knowing that I've created all this space that wasn't there just a few weeks ago. I'm still kind of adjusting to it is what can I give myself right now to help me feel comforted while I move through this period right? And so, for me, what I'm going to do tomorrow and what I commit to doing, what I what I'm committing to doing is sitting down and making a list of all the things that I can do each and every day to bring me comfort, to bring me peace, to make me feel like I have a place in which to open my heart and share what I'm feeling, even if it is just with me and on a piece of paper, that's fine. But really being intentional about giving myself that space to hear and feel, to hear what's going on inside me, and also to feel it right and feel it fully and allow it to just be present and to hold space for it and to say, hey, it's going to be okay. You know that you feel this way. So I say all this to say, if you're in a void, if you're between relationships, if you're in a time in your life it is winter, things are quiet, people aren't making a whole lot of plans, people are moving through stuff, there is stuff going on in the world, people are cocooning.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I know I have I've pulled back from so much shit the last couple of weeks just because there's just so much intensity going on around. It's a little much and people, I think, are withdrawing. And so if you're feeling, if you find yourself feeling a little bit alone and a little bit isolated right now, it's okay. How can you use this time? Okay, how can you use this time to heal yourself? How can you use this time to soothe yourself? How can you use this time to ask yourself what is it that I need right now? What am I avoiding feeling? What do I need and how can I give that to myself? And how can you be your own best friend and your own source of comfort.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:We have got to stop turning to the outside world to comfort us and I mean we're seeing that in spades these days, you know. How can we be our own comfort? How can we lean on a higher spiritual presence to be our source of comfort, rather than all these external things that you know we focus on or distract ourselves with to try and avoid what's going on on the inside? That's really the purpose of a lot of these voids I'm using air quotes voids that we experience. They're really just drawing you inward, and when we draw inward, they're really just drawing you inward. And when we draw inward, I believe we draw closer to source. So maybe these quiet times are actually not just about being alone self-reflecting, but maybe it is an invitation from source to come just a little bit closer, because maybe there's something there for us. So let me know if this resonates in the comments. If you love this episode, please leave a positive rating and review and I will see you next week. Until next time, massive love.