The Femme Cast
Welcome to The Femme Cast—the podcast for women who are truly ready to break free from toxic relationship patterns, choose themselves, and become a magnet for the love they deserve.
I’m Maria Rei, aka The Femme Coach—Master Energy Healer, Radical Self-Love Leader, and Relationship Mentor. I’ve been where you are, stuck in cycles of chasing love, waiting for validation, and abandoning myself in the name of relationships. But I turned my pain into purpose, and now I’m here to help you do the same.
Each week, I share personal stories, actionable insights, and a blend of spiritual and practical tools to help you heal from past wounds, reclaim your self-worth, and rewrite your love story. You’ll hear everything from vulnerable truths about my own journey to breaking toxic patterns to empowering lessons that will guide you toward creating the healthy, loving relationships you crave.
Join me as we say goodbye to self-abandonment, people-pleasing, and unhealthy dynamics, and hello to radical self-love, emotional freedom, and true empowerment.
It’s time to choose yourself and step into the love you were always meant for. Ready?
Let’s do this.
The Femme Cast
Why I Chose Myself Over Love: My Thoughts On Navigating Alignment, Breakups, And Manifesting Your Dream Life And Relationship
Are you staying in a relationship that you know isn't right for you, just because it’s “good enough”? What if the most loving thing you could do for yourself—and them—is to walk away?
Would you?
In this episode of The Femme Cast, I share the shocking truth about why manifesting love sometimes means manifesting a breakup.
Join me as I dive into the deeply personal story of ending a relationship with someone I still loved—because it wasn’t aligned with my vision for the life I’m manifesting. I’ll take you through the heartache, the guilt, and the triumph of choosing myself over them, proving that true self-love sometimes looks like letting go.
- Why loving someone isn’t always enough to make it work
- How forcing alignment burns you out—and how to stop
- The secret to attracting a relationship that energizes, uplifts, and aligns with your dreams
I’ll also share insights about why staying in “almost right” relationships can block you from finding the love you truly want and deserve. This episode will inspire you to let go of what’s holding you back and step into the love and life you’ve been manifesting.
🎧 Hit play and discover why letting go might be the most empowering decision you’ll ever make.
Let's do this.
Want to join the conversation? DM me on Instagram @thefemmecast and let's chat: https://www.instagram.com/thefemmecast/
Are you ready to rewrite your love story? If so, head to my pinned post on my Instagram for a step-by-step guide on attracting the relationship you truly deserve! Or DM me 'REWRITE' for a direct link to the post. no sign-up or email required: https://www.instagram.com/thefemmecast/
Are you ready for a massive breakthrough in your relationships and your life? If so, click the link below to book your 90-minute Healthy Love Intensive with me. We'll laser-focus on clearing the blocks holding you back, creating a powerful shift that attracts the loving, supportive and emotionally available relationships you've always dreamed of—no chase, just flow: https://thefemmecast.com/healthy-love-intensive/
Are you ready to begin your heart healing journey today and manifest the love that you desire? If so, click the link below now to register for my FREE Magnetize Love Meditation Series. A 3 part series designed to help you heal from heartbreak and manifest love you've always wanted: https://thefemmecast.ck.page/meditations
Hey you guys, what is up? Welcome back to the show. I'm so excited and grateful to have you here. Happy, happy holidays and happy new year, because you'll probably be listening to this right after the new year or during the new year, no, right after the new year, anyway, it'll just be. It'll be around new years when you're listening to this. So, happy new year, goodbye 2024. I swear I can't remember a year with so many challenges all in one year. Oh, yeah, I can. 2020. How can I forget? Um, yeah, anyway. Um, happy new year and happy holidays. I hope you had an amazing holidays. Um, wherever you're celebrating and whatever you were celebrating, this is now the third time I am trying to record this episode.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Yes, third, the first one I recorded a couple of weeks ago. I posted it. I like, I uploaded it, I did everything, I scheduled it out, and then I'm like okay, it's all a lie now, because everything that I talked about on that episode has changed. Like everything I have to. Like, I have to figure this out because one of my New Year's intentions for me is to share more things about what's going on in my life, real time. So, like a lot of the times like I will share with you guys, like stuff that I've been through, experienced, learned from, healed from, lessons I've taken from it. You know all that kind of thing. But I also want to kind of start sharing like real-time stuff, right, and what's going on with me right now, how I'm walking through things and moving through things applying what I've already learned, like that kind of real shit, right. And so now everything that I told you is a lie, which I guess I have to kind of get over that now that I think about it, because that's going to bound to happen from time to time. So I think I need to just kind of get over that. We'll figure it out as we go, who knows. But hey, it's a new year. I'm excited. I hope you are too. I'm so looking forward to 2025. Just for the simple fact that 2024 is over, oh my God.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I did post my New Year's practice I talked about it in my last episode and my little ritual that I do at the end of every year just to kind of close off the year nicely set some intentions for the new year. I'm not big on what's it called New Year's resolutions, I'm just. I'm so anti resolutions, but I do like to set intentions. Oh my god, I think I just saw a shooting star outside my window right now as I'm recording this. That's very interesting. There's a lot of magic around this recording, because this is the third time and for for me, threes are always magical. I just saw Shooting Star and it's actually around the same time as the Black Moon on December 30th that I'm recording this and I'm recording it. I think the Black Moon peaked at 540-something Eastern Time. I'm like 615. So it's still within the window. So there's a lot of auspiciousness and it's so funny because I recorded the second version, which I saved, thinking oh yeah, this is the bomb, this is great, I'm going to post it.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And then I started doing my little new moon manifestation ritual, because this is a very powerful new moon right, new moon in Capricorn, I think. So I started to do my new moon ritual and I'm doing my love story practice, which I've kind of collaborated. I've kind of made it more of a life story practice than just a general love story practice, but nonetheless, it's my love story practice. You can check it out if you go to my Instagram and the pin post everything's there that you need to do it on your own. It's so much fun. Honestly, you guys like I love this. So that's what I was kind of doing for New Moon. I'm like I'm just gonna read my affirmations and read my story and call it a day and that's. I'll light a candle and play some music and that'll be my, my ritual for for this new moon. And I'm reading my story and I'm like, oh fuck, I'm sorry, I'm cracking up. Thank god I have this podcast set to like mature content, because the amount of f-bombs that I drop in here are just ridiculous. Okay.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So I think the the initial episode I recorded, I had shared with you guys that I was thinking about breaking up with my relationship at the time and I kind of was reflecting on a past relationship and what I was experiencing in my current relationship and what I was thinking about. Nonetheless, I ended up breaking up with that relationship. All this started happening right around the time that I started doing my love story manifestation. This is not good promotional material for my love story manifestations. Oh, my God, I'm dying, okay.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So here's the thing, you guys, I realized when I was doing my love story manifestations right, and what I really wanted my love story to look like manifestations right and what I really wanted my love story to look like, what I really wanted it to feel like, how I wanted it to be like to show up in my life and how I wanted my life to what's it called Take shape in conjunction with right, like, not around like. I never want my life to revolve around my relationship, but you know what is my life side by side with right, like, not around like. I never want my life to revolve around my relationship, but you know what is my life side by side with my relationship and what does that look like? You know? And where's the alignment right? And what I started to realize, I think, without even like, subconsciously, I think, I started to realize that my relationship was not aligned with what I wanted, and that was the cold, hard truth.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Now, there was a lot of things going on, that don't get me wrong. He was the most loving, kindest, most affectionate human I've ever met and you know what? There will always be a soft spot in my heart for him and it was so, so, so hard to navigate that breakup, but at the end of the day and I shared about this on my Instagram I love myself more than I loved him, right, it's like that famous line Samantha said and I think it was a Sex and the City movie where she was like I love you, but I love me more. It's like boom, like mic drop right there. That was like the perfect, perfect way to describe it Like you love them, but you love yourself more, and you know that you need more out of life, you need more out of your relationship, you want more out of yourself, you know, and sometimes relationships that aren't aligned for us, that aren't really what we want, that aren't really aligned with what that vision that we have for ourselves and for our lives, can hold us back.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And I was starting to feel like that relationship was holding us back. That and the fact that, you know, we were at a distance, we just, no matter how hard we tried, we just couldn't bring it together. And I think it's because, ultimately, we did have slightly different visions of what we wanted life to look like, and I think that's probably why we never, you know, manifested being together, right, and he was also going through a lot of stuff and I was seeing some other patterns that I wasn't comfortable with in terms of being with somebody long term. Don't get me wrong? I didn't. He was never unkind to me or ever nothing like that. But you know, know, there was, there was some. He had a lot of difficulty dealing with difficulty, put it that way and he wasn't good at um, you know he was navigating some really heavy stuff, um, but he wasn't coping with it the way that I would want a partner to cope with it.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know life, always life is going to get heavy, things are going to get hard. We're going to go through periods it you know life, always life is going to get heavy, things are going to get hard. We're going to go through periods where, you know, things are just effed up and that's okay, right, but how we deal with those really says a lot about who we are and and that's something that you know is really important for me and when looking for a partner. So, ultimately, the practice that I was doing to manifest more love into my life and other things, there's other things that I weaved into that it wasn't just a relationship, it wasn't just like love, it was just this next level life vision that I was manifesting. Right, like what I want my life to look like next year. Right, what do I want my home, to look like my career, to look like my relationship, to look like that kind of thing.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And what I realized was that, you know, this relationship just didn't, wasn't going to be able to fit into that vision that I wanted for myself so badly, and so I think I manifested a breakup. So yay, in promoting my love story manifestation method. But here's the thing, and here's what I will say to anybody who now says oh see, it's a load of crap, it doesn't work, but it does, because sometimes being available for the right relationship means letting go of the wrong one, and sometimes, even though it's the wrong relationship, we might still love them. We might still love them, they might love us, there might be genuine attachment and connection there, and it could be very, very, very real. But if it's not the right relationship, then the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and for them is let them go, because we both deserve to find the right relationship, the one that actually fits nicely.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:You know, like the puzzle piece, instead of trying to force it to fit. That's, I think, what this whole episode is about. It's about letting go of the relationships that you're forcing to fit. Guys, we don't have time for that it is 2025.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Energy is expensive, and I don't just mean like electrical, I mean like our own and our own life force. Energy is expensive, you guys, and every time we try to fit pieces of the puzzle together that just don't fit, whether it be partners, whether it be homes, work, school, careers, friendships, relationships, situationships, whatever you've got going on in your world. If you're trying to align with things that just aren't meant to align with you, you are going to burn out so much of your energy. That's where most of the burnout happens. Burnout happens because we're not aligned. Because if we're aligned, alignment even though sometimes it might be hard work, even though sometimes, you know, it may feel a little intense always gives us energy, doesn't deplete us. When we're being depleted, it's because somewhere in our energy field we are trying to force something that's not aligned to fit into our universe and it just doesn't belong there and it's time to just let it go.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So I was starting to feel it. I was starting to feel like this relationship was aligned, wasn't aligned. I was starting to feel like kind of held back, weighed down by it, even though there was so much love there and guys like I had, so I had such a hard time coming clean about this with you guys. I was like but I'm a relationship coach, how do I tell them that I just broke up with my relationship? And so I asked myself, if I was my client, what would I want her to do? Oh duh, I'd want her to break up with him because it wasn't aligned for her right. And so this is me like basically, you know what is it? Walking the talk, talking the walk? No, walking the talk and basically saying like, listen, I chose myself over my relationship, even though there was so much love, even though it broke my heart, to end that relationship. It was hard, it was really hard to end it. But, like I said, like if it were my client I would want her to end it too. I would never tell her to. I mean, at the end of the day, my clients, you know, I never tell them what to do. It's always up to them. But I always hope they make the right decision I think they should make, and they usually do come to that decision. So sometimes they take a little bit longer to get to it. But you know, I do believe that we make those decisions when we're ready. So that's all fine and good, but, yeah, so no more of this. Make it work. Mentality.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And this is one thing that was kind of coming up for me as I was deciding whether or not to break up with him. I was like, well, why are you breaking up with him? He loves you so much, he's so kind to you, he's so like loving towards you and you know he's probably the kindest person you've ever been with. Like, why on earth would you, why on earth are you gonna break up with him? Are you crazy? There's one version of me and then there's another Like really like not to be cold. I'm not trying to be cold. I'm not devaluing the love that he had for me or the love that I had for him. I'm not devaluing that. But what I'm saying is there's got to be more to it than that Like, yes, we can love each other and yes, we can, you know, want the best for each other and want to give each other the world. But at the end of the day, if it doesn't again, if it doesn't work, why force making it work? The puzzle pieces don't fit. Don't force making them fit. You know I always, you know, refer to this kind of like triple.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I don't know this trifecta of alignment when it comes to relationships. Right, you want to have aligned intentions, right? Not just for the relationship but also for life, especially if you're looking, if you're just looking to date somebody or hang out with somebody or whatever, then aligned intentions for the relationship. If you're looking for, like, a life partner, then aligned intentions for the relationship and for life. You know they have to align, like your visions for what you want in life have to align, and so that's number one. Number two is alignment of values. Right, so you share the same values, the same things that are important, that are core, fundamentally important to you. And aligned efforts, like you're both making efforts in the same direction to support your relationship. Right, one's not going one way, the other one's going another way. You know they have to be aligned efforts and equal efforts in a relationship. So we did have aligned efforts, for sure. For the most part we had aligned values, but there was a couple of things that were coming up that were kind of like do we have aligned values really, do we? In terms of how he dealt with values, really Do we? In terms of how he dealt with troubling times? Anyway, and then aligned intentions.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:What was becoming evidently clear is, although we had aligned intentions for what we wanted for our relationship, what wasn't aligned was our future vision. We had two very different future visions. And so when I started doing this love story manifestation method, energetically speaking, it started to feel off, because there was a part of me, a higher version of me, that knew well, if this is what you want, you ain't gonna, you ain't this isn't, this isn't what this is gonna be. You know, you have to kind of decide whether you know you want the aligned vision for your life or you want to stay with this relationship and the thought I don't know if you guys know human design at all, but in a manifesting generator. So for me, as a manifesting generator, I know that if something's not in alignment, it starts to feel really heavy and really draining. And that's what it started to feel like and I knew in that moment it was time to kind of move on. And it took a good week for me to two weeks to actually have the conversation and then it probably took about a week to have the like.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:It took about two weeks to start to have the conversation and then the conversation took two weeks to really unfold, because I was really digging my heels. I'm like I really didn't want to do this. I knew I was going to be breaking my own heart in the process, but sometimes that's what self-love means. It means being willing to break your own heart for a few minutes or a season so you can fill your heart for a lifetime. You know like sometimes you have to make those hard choices, and that's what this was, you know, and that's why I really celebrated this moment. And people are like why are you celebrating a breakup? I'm like because 10 years ago I would not have done this. 10 years ago I would have fought tooth and nail, even though I was getting more and more signs that he wasn't aligned for me, that we wanted two totally different pictures for our lives, that we had two totally different sets of values, that I was putting in all the work and he was putting in none and I'm speaking of very specific individuals right now, trust me and yet I would still try and make those pieces of those puzzles fit and I was getting exhausted and burnt out in the process because I wasn't aligned.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I was swimming upstream. This is how I always describe alignment. Misalignment is swimming upstream. So you're swimming against the current, like if you imagine a river with all the rocks. You're going against the current, you're fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting. You're swimming around all these rocks trying to make your way up to the top of the thing. If you just were to turn around and go with the flow of the river, you would go so much faster, so much faster. Not to mention you wouldn't even have to swim, you just kind of float and the water would just carry you. And that's what alignment is and that's what that feels like and that's why this relationship started to feel like I was swimming upstream and the way I used to do relationships where I used to hold on like white, knuckle them until they were like dead in the water, like way beyond their expiry date. And I'm still like holding on like rose with that freaking door at the end of the Titanic. Oh, my God, you know what I mean, anyway. So you know, I celebrate that I don't do that anymore.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Like 10 years ago I would have stayed, I would have forced it, forced, trying to make it work, done everything, tried everything, changed everything about myself, trying to make it fit and make it last, even though it wasn't meant to. It wasn't meant to, you know, it had. It had outlived its purpose, it had expired and it was time to let it go, because I didn't want to be without that love, I didn't want to be without that relationship. I didn't want to, you know, feel the pain or the loss of the relationship. It was like that temporary soothing of having the relationship there was more comforting than you know, just feeling a short period of pain or discomfort for the chance of something better in the future. You know, and I think sometimes I don't know about you guys, but I feel like this was ingrained in me and I don't know who or when or how this got ingrained in me, but somehow it got ingrained in me. And that is that. You know.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:There's this again it's that make it work mentality, like you have to make it work. Relationships take work. You have to make them work, which is true, I mean, relationships are work, and I think it depends on the relationship as well, like if you guys, you know, if you're, if you're married, obviously you want to put more work and effort into a marriage and you do a relationship than you do a situation ship, right, I mean, it's just they're varying degrees, right. However, all relationships take work regardless, but I remember I don't know who said this I think we were talking about online dating.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:If I'm not mistaken, we were talking about online dating. I'm pretty sure there was cocktails involved and someone in the group blurts out, and I can't remember who blurted it out, but I remember we all like almost peed our pants laughing. If they're not like broke, living on their parents' couch doing drugs, drinking, gambling, married or wearing women's underwear in their spare time, you've got yourself a keeper and it's. And not for anything, guys. Not for anything.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But online dating did feel that way back in the day. I don't know how it is now, I haven't online dated in ages, but that's what it felt like, and so you know there was this mentality that if it wasn't something terribly wrong with him, then you stay with him. But why does there have to be something terribly wrong with a partner in order for us to leave them Right? Like, think about it. Why not simply leaving them? Because, hey, you're great and I love you and I've loved every moment that I've spent with you, but I want something different for my life. Why can't that be enough? Why? Why do we have to justify it by, you know, having some sort of traumatic story about him that he was this horrible person to make it feel like it's okay to leave him, like, do you know what I mean? There's this mindset there that, unless they're doing horrible things, we just need to love and accept them for who they are, which is true. We should love and accept our partners for who they are. We really should. And if we can't, if we're wishing them to be something else, or if we need to be something else, to be with them, then that's got to tell you something, okay.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Regardless, I ended the relationship relationship and it was hard. Um, there was, you know, a lot of tears, there was a lot of crying. There was many times that I wanted to text him after the breakup. Um, there was many times I was afraid that I wasn't gonna like it was like trying to quit eating like I don't know chocolate cake or something. Um, it was actually. It was more than that. It was like trying to quit eating like I don't know chocolate cake or something. It was actually. It was more than that. It was like it was like the time I tried to quit smoking, which I did quit smoking years ago.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Wow, I don't sound codependent at all, but anyway, no, it was like I was so used to texting him, like we were always in constant contact hey, good morning, hey, how you doing, hey, how's your day. You know, something funny would happen and we would share it with each other. Something crazy would happen, we would share it with each other, something triggering would happen and we would share it. And then, at the end of the day, you know, good night and blah, blah, blah. And so I got used to having, you know, all this constant contact all day.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So you know, when we broke up and having to go without, it was like I had this constant urge to text him. I had to fight that urge and every time I went to pick up my phone and like, oh yeah, I forgot to get down, and then I would just get that sinking feeling all over again. Then I would cry again, and then I would feel sad again, and then I would want to eat again and, oh my God, I've put on so much weight in the last couple of weeks. But I had to feel that loss. Right, I had to feel that loss and, like I said, sometimes we have to experience, you know, just a little bit of temporary to get to something really good, and we have to not be afraid to be on our own to for a little while, until that thing that we really want shows up. You know, we have to not be afraid.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Being afraid of being on our own is the number one thing that keeps us going back to all the wrong relationships. If we just take that time out and be on our own and live our best life and do good things for ourselves and have our little glow up, because, honestly, why even have a breakup if you're not gonna have a glow up after? I mean, it just makes no sense to me. But anyway, every breakup should be followed by first grieving and then a glow up. That's just a hard rule, but I forgot where I was going with this. But anyway, long story short, you know, don't be afraid to be, you know, on your own for a little bit.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I encourage women to spend some time alone. If you're looking for your ideal partner, you should spend some time alone, you know. Work on yourself, feel good about yourself, learn what you love, imagine what you want your best life to look like. You know, too many times we just keep dating and going on this hamster wheel of everybody else's lives and we haven't even stopped to figure out what we wanted and what we want our life to look like. So stop, you know, take a time out, take a breath. So so, so important.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But the funny thing was in all of this, you know, going back to the point that I said that they need to do something terrible in order for us to feel okay about breaking up with them. So here I am, I'm breaking up with them, right, and I'm telling him this and that, and you know, I'm giving him, like all the reasons. I'm like I just don't want us to keep hurting each other. I feel like, you know, we're trying to make something fit that's just not working and we like freaking out or, you know, doing something that my exes would have done, like telling me off or whatever he's so loving through the whole thing and like you know, basically telling me. Like you know, first he was like obviously trying to push for us to stay together and and and campaigning for that, and you know he kind of you know he kind of surrendered to what I needed right in this moment. He's like I, I understand why you need this and blah, blah, blah. And you know I'm still here and, if you like, like basically supporting me through the breakup, and I'm like my god, can't you just be a prick please, so I can like break up with you more easily? Like you're being so nice right now.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:The guilt is killing me. So I had every reason in the world to turn all that around and say, you know what, forget it. Forget everything. I just said, forget it. Let's just go back to the way things were Right, because, as a people pleaser, guilt is such a powerful weapon, like so powerful right. And so here I am. I'm choosing myself. I'm putting myself and my needs and my desires for my life first. I'm clearly hurting myself and someone else in the process. And now I feel guilt because he's being so loving about it.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Like this was like a hot mess for Maria 10 years ago, who would have like just abandoned it all and just said, no, no, forget it, let's just stay together. We'll happily ever after, we'll make it work One way or another. We'll make it work. I did it and I am fucking celebrating myself for that so hard, because it was not an easy year and honestly, I don't know how I would have gotten through this year without him. I really don't, I think.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I think he was such a blessing for me um, because he was my first relationship after my seven-year relationship hiatus, right and not only did he help me navigate this year, which was just so painful and so difficult, but he opened my heart again, because, not that I closed off to relationship, but I just been on my own for so long that I wasn't sure if I could just let myself relax in a relationship again. And I did, and it felt so natural, you know, and so I owe this man so much and he was so nice. When we broke up and, oh my God and I just remember I was laughing at my friend I'm like, why couldn't he be a prick? It would have been so much easier if he was a prick. If he said something really mean, and, like you know, then I'd be like, okay, fine, I did the right thing. But no, he had to be himself, which is the man that I fell in love with. So, yay, anyway, I think that was pretty much all that I had to say.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:So, listen, I know we're brought up with this belief that, like I said, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. You know, if he ain't doing drugs, sleeping around putting on women's underwear, sleeping around putting on women's underwear, married gambling, sleeping on his baron's sofa, that you've got yourself a winner. But, girl, raise the fucking bar, like listen there can be. He can be the nicest guy, he can be the most loving guy and I want that. I want that for each and every one of you listening, for each and every one of you listening. I want you to find, if that's what you want, the healthiest relationship on the planet where you feel so loved, seen and adored Again, if that's what you want. But I also want you to just make sure you raise that bar on your standards in your relationships.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Raise the bar on what you're going to settle for and be willing to say no to the thing that seems okay because it's not what you really want and what would really make you happy, and knowing that it's okay to be on your own for a little while until that thing shows up and make yourself happy in the process. You know, in the meantime, do the things that make you happy, Take care of yourself. I know I'm in serious need of a glow-up era after 2024, that hot mess. We're entering glow-up season. I've got nothing to do this winter, but you know well my daily responsibilities, obviously between work and this and taking care of my parents, which has been a handful the last several months, but in the rest of the time it's glow up season.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:Just saying have a glow up season, do things you love, go, I don't know. Discover your gifts again, discover your talents, the things that bring you joy, and, you know, spend time doing the things you love for a little while. Take yourself out on a date. You know Like love on yourself a little bit and wait until that thing that you know is aligned for you actually shows up, rather than trying to force yourself to fit with something that's not aligned, because you just would rather do that than not be alone, than be alone. You know what I mean. Give yourself that chance.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And if you're in a relationship that you're thinking, yeah, but I love them, but you really can't see yourself with them long-term and that is what you want, you want long-term then you have some decisions to make, right? So think about it. Think about it really hard. You know you don't have to have some big tragic reason to end a relationship, it not being the right relationship, even though there's so much love. That's enough of a reason to walk away and it's okay. It's better for both of you.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:And if you're feeling guilty, one thing I tried to think for myself when I was feeling those moments when I was feeling guilty, it's like I could go back to this guy, because I'm feeling really guilty right now. But what makes me feel guilty are the fact that I'm staying with him out of guilt or the fact that I'm cheating him out of somebody who actually, whose life does fit with what he wants and who would love him completely and unconditionally. You know, and sometimes the unselfish thing and the most self-loving thing is the most painful thing for both people, at least in the interim, not in the long term. In the long term it ends up paying off. In the beginning it stings a little bit, but in the end it's all worth it. You know, and I do believe that.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:I do believe that if we desire something, that it's meant for us, so the best thing that we can do is just keep aligning with that version of ourselves that already has that thing, so that, you know, we become a closer match to it, right? And that means letting go of all the things that don't align or that might be keeping you from it, and this isn't a supply to personal relationship. This applies to friendships, work, all kinds of relationships If they were once aligned. And they're no longer aligned and you're forcing things to fit together. You're just hanging on, trying to make it work and making always calling, trying to make plans and nudging people hey, I'm here, let's go out, just let it go. Let it go and let the pieces fall where they may and see where they fall. And I'll bet you nine out of 10, if it's a relationship that you've been trying to put too much effort into keeping it in survival mode, the minute you let go of the reins, it's just gonna fall apart. And that's not a bad thing, because it was wanting to fall apart, because it served its purpose in your life and it was time for you to let it go. But you were resisting that and that's why it was getting so hard to hold on to. So the relationships that are hard to hold on to that feel draining, it's time to let those go, and we're going to be talking a lot about relationship audits in the coming weeks, so stay tuned for that.
MARIA @THEFEMMECAST:But if you are in a situation where this resonates, let me know in the comments, send me an email at maria at thefemcoachcom, or DM me. Let me know where you're at with this. Are you? Are you standing on? Are you teetering on the edge of letting someone go, or have you been fighting, resisting what you know you need to let go of Because you're afraid to actually like pull the plug? Let me know. I'm curious. If you love this episode. Please leave a positive rating and review on Apple, itunes or Spotify or wherever you're seeing this, for Christ's sake. I mean, it's my third attempt at recording it, so please leave me a good rating. Massive love you guys. I'll see you in the new year.