BREAKING FREE FROM CODEPENDENCY AND DISCOVERING SELF-EMPOWERMENT THROUGH EROGETICS WITH AMY LEE WESTERVELT

Have you ever found yourself buried under the weight of pleasing others and neglecting your own needs? Do you ever secretly wish you could just run away, so that you wouldn't have to worry about what anyone else wanted or needed?

If so, tune in as I chat with Amy Lee Westervelt, a Master Neuroenergetics Practitioner and the creator of ErogeticsTM, about our personal experiences with codependency. 

Our conversation takes you through the labyrinth of people-pleasing we experienced, shedding light on how this can wreak havoc on our mental and physical health. We dissect if people-pleasing is a learned behavior or if it has a gender bias, and how it differently affects men and women.

In this discussion, Amy introduces the concept of Erogetics, allowing us to break free from codependent patterns and tap into our inner masculine energy. We promise you that by the end of this episode, you will resonate with the liberating feeling of unshackling from codependency, empowering yourself, and acknowledging the universe's profound love for you.

Join us on this transformative journey as we unravel the layers of codependency and discover the empowering world of Erogetics.

Let's do this.

Follow Amy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theamyleewestervelt
Check our her website: https://www.amyleewestervelt.com/erogetics

Are you ready to create a massive uplevel in your life and relationships? If so, use the link below to book your 90-minute Uplevel + Flow Intensive. This is a powerful 90-minute session where we go deep to energetically shift one relationship pattern you are ready to break free from, so you can magnetize more loving and supportive relationships without the chase...just flow!
https://thefemmecast.com/uplevel-and-flow-intensive

Are you ready to begin your heart healing journey today and manifest the love that you desire? If so, use the link below to register for my Uplevel + Flow Meditation Series . A 3 part series designed to help you heal from heartbreak and manifest love you've always wanted, but never thought you would find.
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https://thefemmecast.ck.page/21daychallenge

Transcript

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 0:32

Hey you guys, what is up and welcome back to the show. I am so excited and grateful to have you here and I'm very excited to share with you our guest today. She's a very good friend of mine. Let's hear her for, amy Lee Westervault. Amy is a master neurogetics practitioner and she is the creator of aerogetics. If you have never heard of aerogetics, you are gonna wanna look her up. We're gonna have her back on the Femcast to talk about that another day, but for today, we're gonna be talking about our journey through codependency and what that really looked like for us in our journey and our relationships and how we really evolved past a lot of those patterns. So let's get right into it. Okay, here we go. Amy, welcome to the Femcast. I'm so excited to have you.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 1:19

I'm so excited to be here, Maria. This is a long time coming.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 1:22

I know we've been talking about this for quite a while. Shamefully Long time, Long time. We both have very busy schedules. It is what it is. So how's it going?

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 1:34

It's going good, it's going really good. It's interesting when you start doing the work right, yeah, the work Like you have these days where you're like why am I even here? And then every once in a while, you have a day that's like this is what it feels like when you're in it and your body aren't so crap and limiting beliefs and stuff.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 1:53

Yeah, I know, and it can sometimes feel like when you get into that point where it's like you start to feel very disconnected from your body when you like, it's like you're having this whole out of body experience where you're just kind of go, go, go, go, go, go go. And one of the biggest things that I've learned is kind of just pulling back and bringing yourself back like inward, and it is the most empowering practice I think I've ever come across, cause you literally it's a practice that you really have to do again and again, moment to moment, but that's a whole other conversation. We're having that conversation. We're having that and it's definitely forced and not or forced into it yet or even forced into work on it. It's still now fighting that in the end, and that's why, yeah, so I think that is the biggest message that the whole bit that people know about being contemporary Talk to me like how did it show up for you? What were some of your patterns?

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 3:03

Yeah, I think that you know. Growing up I had a narcissistic parent and I had a emotionally immature parent. If you haven't read it, the book adult children of emotionally immature parents mind-blowing.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 3:18

That is a really good book, amazing book, if you guys haven't read.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 3:21

I recommend. I recommend it to a lot of my clients and I, I think, growing up, I became very aware that If I was to stay safe, I had to make sure that I was pulling my weight, that I was doing what I was supposed to do, and I was brought up in a Very golden rule kind of an environment of, like you know, my mom would always say I treat people the way I like to be treated, yeah, and so there's this idea that If I did the right thing, I'd stay safe, I'd stay in everyone's good graces. It was like the most beautiful proving ground for a people pleaser, yeah, yeah. And if you're into human design at all, I actually have an open ego which also lends itself to people Please, yeah, these Same open centers. Now, I think so. I think so. I'm. The only difference is that you're a joy person and I'm an apple person, but that's.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 4:25

Anyway, no, I want to have this conversation. I have it right now. No kidding, go ahead.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 4:32

Anyway, um, and so, growing up, it was very much this idea of like, if I do for you, then either you will I, you know you'll accept me. Yeah, there was just always this, this giving energy, and always feeling if you had to be on, and so I think that I kind of brought that with me throughout my life of like, okay, how can I earn my keep here, how can I earn my right to exist?

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 4:59

and you know I'm your right to exist. Wow, that is really powerfully said, right.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 5:04

Yeah yeah, and I kind of came to a head. I'll tell you about that in a minute, but I want to hear more about your story. But, um, it kind of came to a head when my brother came to live with us. Yeah, um, and I'll say that's right. I.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 5:16

You know, for me it was. It was like you said. It was the people pleasing right, and it showed up as Me always doing more than I needed to do to prove myself Me being oh god, forbid anybody in the room be unhappy. I would automatically assume it had everything to do with something I done wrong. Everything to do with something I. They don't love me, they're mad at me, they're angry with me.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 5:43

I'm doing wrong with my behavior. No, they don't know that like we're literally like what's wrong and they're like nothing and I'm like shut up, I can feel it. It's an under in your armpit, like right here.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 5:55

And you start to, like, argue with people no, I know that something's wrong with you, nothing's wrong my fault Um, so definitely the perfect that that there was. You know the empathizing there was, the overachieving, overdoing, over pleasing, overgiving, and then, as I got older and it started to show up in my personal relationships, just this insurmountable amount of resentment that came as a result of all that. Right, because here I am, I'm giving, giving, giving, I'm giving all of this, yo, like I'm not getting anything in return here, like what up with that? Like it made no sense to me and that to me, like it felt, like it started, it made me question who did or didn't love me, because this is what love looks like to me, so I don't know any other way.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 6:44

So when someone's not doing that, like reciprocating that, then it was like a whole other conversation of will do even love me, like if you're not bending over backwards, you know what I mean. So it it really created a lot of distortions and toxicities in my relationships and I think that was, I think, the biggest A-ha moment or turning point for me, when I started to actually see what was going on and I it triggered. It really just triggered me on my healing journey and on this journey to radical self-love that I've been going down for decades now. But I mean, it was like it wasn't without years of second guessing and overthinking and obsessing and worrying and always thinking that some way, somehow, I was falling short of everyone's expectations around me.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 7:40

Yeah, you know it's interesting you're talking about other people doing things for you because, like my experience was never that way. Nobody did things for me, I was just the endless doer. My brother came to live with us and right in the middle, at the beginning of the pandemic, so he lived in Vegas and then he came to live with us just to kind of get away from my parents. And you know, imagine living with two people my stepdad's in his sixties, my mom's in her seventies and it's during the pandemic and my brother's in his thirties, like living.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 8:08

Look at your little thumb.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 8:09

That's okay. That's my thumb up right now. It's like I don't know. And so your brother came to live with you. Now Go on.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 8:19

And so you know, to avoid my parents killing him and him killing them, because, like he couldn't go out all day and, like you know, just imagine a 30 year old man into like elderly people in a house together in the middle of the snow in Boston during COVID. Like it just doesn't. It was yeah.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 8:33

It was a good one.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 8:34

It was not going well. So he came to live with us and I like, rolled out the red carpet, yeah, gave him the upstairs room. Like we made him dinner every night, like everything was perfect. And what I had been taught is, if you do a, they will do be like. If you do the right thing, right, treat others as you should be treated, like the golden rule, this whole idea you do the things, someone else will do the thing. Yeah. And because my brother is mentally health issues because of whatever you know, I remember I bought him this. I have this stuffed animal I don't think she's over here right now, but her name's wrinkles and they made them in the 80s. They made like million. They were like the most popular toy the year that they were popular 87 I guess. Yeah, I bought one for everyone in my family.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 9:15

So I have a lot of girls and there's no two that are alike in the world. So good luck, because on eBay you'll never find the same one twice. Oh my gosh, but they're not the same. So I bought my brother one when he came to live with us, like just to be like, hey, you know, welcome to the family. And he got pissed at who knows what one day and I came back to my office and the dog was sitting on my chair like it was like it was like a screw you right. And I just remember thinking like what did I do? I could not for the life of me figure out what I had done to upset my brother, except roll out the red carpet. Be kind, we hadn't had a fight.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 9:50

I didn't understand what I had done and my husband and he was like babe, it's not about you, and I was what 37, 8, I don't know at the time and I was like, oh okay, universe, so me doing the right thing doesn't guarantee the other person does the right thing. And that was the moment when I really saw my codependency in like a big lens, was like I have this misconception that my behavior can control someone else's behavior.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 10:23

Yeah, exactly, and that is that. That is the lesson is is thinking that you can manipulate and control other people's behavior and then using that as a tool to kind of coerce people into behaving away that you actually want them to behave. It actually is quite toxic, but it comes from a really, you know, it does come from a very fearful place of never wanting to be abandoned or rejected, right, and that's really the one thing that we're so desperately trying to avoid. And I think, for me, my big, my big awake, like awakening moment was when I literally burnt myself out trying to, you know, really deliver on the expectations that everyone else had around me, whether it was there was my partner and his expectations and their, his family's expectations and works expectations, and there was friendships and there was dynamics going on and in my family that were, that were all kind of drawing on my energy and I felt like I felt like I was juggling 20 balls in the air at the same time of what everyone else wanted or needed, and then, in the midst of all of this, my body was falling apart. I was having like inflammatory reactions I was, I was breaking out in hives everywhere, I was having digestion issues and yet all this focus was being put on all these things outside of me to try and control reactions, expectations and avoid that fear of being just at the end, to the point where literally my body just kind of was like it was done.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 12:03

I had to go on like a massive, like cleanse. I had to go like gluten intolerant for gluten free for for several years because I couldn't eat gluten. My body was reacting to it and all all these things started to joint pain, itchiness, rashiness, acne breakouts, oily skin, dry skin, like it was, just like I was just a pile of hot, inflammatory mess. And it wasn't until I started to pull my energy back and I realized how much I was, how much energy I was exerting externally right and really able to see it and witness it and realize like I have not, like I've not been paying any attention to me, like at all, like I wouldn't even I would go a day without even having like a sip of water because I was so busy running around doing all like working, cleaning, tending, whatever, right. It was insane and I think that was the big, that was the big moment for me was saying you know, I was like I think I was at my doctor's office.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 13:07

I was 35 at the time and I was struggling with joint pain and my doctor's like, oh well, you know, it's just wearing hair. You know you're not. You're not a spring kitten anymore. I'm like I'm 35, like I should not be having joint pain. And then I dove in. I did a bunch of research on joint discomfort and muscular disease and what leads to inflammatory joint pain. That led me down the inflammation and I realized I had been having all these gluten reactions to food that I was eating. One of them was gluten and the lactose and all these other things went on a complete overhaul of my health and my lifestyle and now I can totally eat the foods I used to eat and not react the same way anymore, now that I've put some balance back into my life.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 14:03

Yeah, I think it's like debilitating nausea, oh yeah, like when I press down and I can't get rid of it, it won't go either way, if you know what I mean. So I'm stuck in this actual sense of dizziness and out of body ickiness and loraz, and so I think that that was really kind of how it manifested for me Also, just being in the energy of people. I mean, I used to work in Boston. I used to drive myself places and like I could navigate, like this one traffic place where, like you get off the highway, you have to get all the way, like you literally get dumped off way over here and then you've got one exit to go four lanes. Oh my God, I hate that I'm getting stressed just thinking about it.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 14:49

I did it just to go to work. I like cut off, you know, cut across four lanes, and like now I'm like I've got a Walmart, I literally have to get in the car and take three laughs and a ride. Like like it drains you to the point where you like have to build up the ability to be around people anymore because it's just so dense. You know, like you're just like I, literally been giving so much that my body when it gets around other people is like no, thank you.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 15:17

I that that, do you? So okay, comment and a question, because I'm the same way. I find like I love. I'm a very social person. I am very outgoing. I can have you're like that too, like we can literally have a conversation with anybody, but when it's downtime, it is down time. Doses mean something, right. It's like you can get out there, you can be social and you can engage, but there's a long. I don't know about you, but for me there is a long periods of hibernation In between, and I feel like I need that. Can you like? Is that the same?

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 15:53

Yeah, absolutely.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 15:54

I mean, I'm a two line, yeah, so yeah, I'm a hermit through and through, like when I go out with kids and my kids are all in the car behind me and their energy is just around me. They know, when mommy gets home like, don't come in my room. I need to regroup, I need, I need to get back into the equilibrium of my energy. Yeah, and it's interesting, you know, talking from a code dependent perspective. I think a lot of times M pads and code dependence, like we feel like we don't have a right to protect our energy. Yeah, know how we can do it or like, but is that really okay?

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 16:27

Is it all right Selfish to do that Like it feels, like it's selfish.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 16:31

And the funny thing is the other person has no clue. Anyway, it's not like they're like wow, you protected your energy, so mine couldn't get it. Like they'd be like good, I hope you do, yeah, but I think that that's one of the biggest things. Is we just we're conditioned to believe that we exist to be, to be consumed, like a product, you know, like like we just we're there so that somebody can use up whatever there is, and then we have to go and yeah, yeah.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 17:04

So I'd love to hear your take on this because I've seen this in my like I. So no one ever told me that I needed to be a people pleaser in order to get by in life, right, like this wasn't a conversation and we ever had, but there were dynamics and I could see it in my family, like from all all different, like my immediate family and my extended family, you know, going back generations, where I could see these people pleasing behaviors and where they kind of came from and how they you know, they kind of. It was almost like, you know, you were kind of learning, you were kind of teaching by example, right, no one told you you had to do it, but this is, this is what was being demonstrated, right? My question is do you think it's a, you know, do you think it's just a like a general thing that kind of gets passed down from generation to generation, or do you think it's specifically a woman issue?

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 18:01

Because I got to tell you in my family it almost showed up in both, but it showed up differently, like I could see where women were just catering to and taking care of, but then I also saw examples of where women were doing, the nurturing they were doing, the caregiving, right. But then I also saw examples of where men were trying to fix things, do things provide in some way, and if they felt and it was, it was, you know came obviously a way more masculine, not the kind of nurturing we would expect from someone who's a people pleaser but and would feel you would see, you would see their frustration when they felt like it wasn't pleasing. But it again came across very differently. Right, a feminine would embody a more emotional response to feeling like she's failed in some way, feeling afraid, feeling sad, feeling hurt, feeling maybe resentful or frustrated. But in from a male perspective it almost came across as not aggression but, you know, frustration and not wanting to try anymore.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 21:44

Do you see that Like? Is that something that you've seen in your world? How has that shown up for you?

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 21:50

Well, I didn't really have a lot of strong, healthy, masculine males in my life. So you know I have a dad and a stepdad and I guess I have a brother-in-law. So, starting with my dad, my dad was a narcissist. I won't say he is anymore because he's in his 70s and I think past his narcissistic prime.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 22:08

So, dad, if you're listening, I don't think you're a narcissist anymore, but you definitely were. And so that's my dad and then my stepdad. You know pretty much, by and large, I'm masculine by my mother, just very much. You know people pleaser in his own right.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 22:24

I mean everything he says is the gospel. I remember sometimes arguing with my mom and my mom you know my stepdad protecting my mom and I'd just be like this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, but like her way was the way. So that was very interesting growing up with that. And then you know my sister's husband. My sister is 11 years older than me so she got married young and divorced young too and you know he was never really. I mean he was masculine but also like he was kind of a soul and not very kind to her, although you know that's her and my first husband. Wonderful human, so incompatible. We were like college sweethearts.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 23:09

Yeah.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 23:10

Same movies we liked the same music, went to concerts, we did all those things but like there was no attraction whatsoever. When it came time to attract my husband, I was like okay, what do I actually want? I really had to stop and think about the qualities that I wanted in a mate. And not the things that I fell into, you know, because there was a lot of dating in between my first husband and my second husband, which still sounds so weird, but whatever.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 23:37

We should do an episode on that.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 23:40

Sorry, go on, we totally can. We can also just talk about it, but there was a lot. Yeah, let's just say that my body count like went up a lot between first husband, yeah, it went to like, oh, okay, it's on.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 23:57

Yeah, we need another page, please.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 23:59

But so when it came time for, you know, to meet my husband, it was just, it was different.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 24:06

I was different and what I wanted was based more on my results and like how I wanted to feel than it was about what I wanted, like on a list.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 24:16

So, for example, I remember I would listen to the Taylor Swift song nine and I was like, okay, he's going to be in the car with me and he's going to put his hand on my knee and I remember thinking like that's going to kind of hurt, like where the pressure points are. But like I know what that feels like when a guy is like in the passenger seat and you're driving and he's like we's in, you know, your knee, he's going to have dinner when I come home from work, if I work that night, and like I had all these visualizations of what this guy was going to be like and what it was going to be like to fall in love with him. And well and behold, that's actually what happened. And my husband now is just I mean, we've been married for 12 years. He's everything I ever wanted, but that's because I was connected to how it was going to feel to be with him, rather than all the qualities he was going to have, if that makes sense.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 25:04

Yeah, it does make a lot of sense because we want the qualities, because we think that they're going to make us feel a certain way, which is another. It's a whole other facet of codependency. Right, you think you need people to have certain characteristics, certain income levels, certain like a degree, a car, this kind of a wardrobe, because you think it's going to make you feel something different or better about yourself, when what you really need is just the feeling of feeling good and regardless of what that looks like, right.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 25:36

Yeah, exactly. And so I just skipped ahead to what will it feel like when this feeling of good is my everyday. Yeah, and it was, he was. I mean I lost a lot of friends dating him because he was. They got sick of watching how in love we were, like they were jealous, I mean beyond jealous. He was deployed and like remember I sent him like 10 packages one time and the rest of the guys are like, oh, male. And they're like, nope, westerville, westerville, westerville, like all the packages. And you know he had an ex wife too and she was a nightmare.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 26:13

So we both really I'll tell you those stories someday. She gets her own episode check. No, but I'll find her for you. You can ever on the show? No, I won't.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 26:26

No ex is allowed on the show You're gonna make that a rule. But no, but in terms of, yeah, it was really interesting to recognize that like I didn't need him to do. I didn't want grand gestures. I don't even I know that he got me something for Christmas this year because there was something I really wanted and I just didn't for myself. But we don't usually exchange Like we don't do presents for each other every year, like we just do it for the kids. Yeah, you've never been grand gesture type of people. Like it's very interesting because we're so, we're so good, like we don't need to do a lot of that external stuff. And I don't say that to be like and if you do, I mean so there's something wrong. But I'm saying like, build your relationship based on how you want to feel in your body and the coherence between your thoughts and your feelings.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 27:16

A lot of that other stuff, kind of just like doesn't matter.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 27:21

I love that so much. Is that so okay? So, just to cause, obviously we've already done the intro in the show, but we know we mentioned that you know you've created this aerogetic system. Is that really what it's all about? Is it about feeling the feelings before the person shows up? Is there more cause? I've had a taste of it and we're going to bring you back to talk more about that, cause I love, I love the work that you're doing. I think it's so exciting, but give give us a little. Give us a little teaser.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 27:54

Yeah. So aerogetics is really about recognizing that you are in partnership with the universe. And then it's not like this sky daddy that's like, oh you, poor thing, here's the hundred thousand dollars, here's the bike. It's like I am so head over heels in love with you and you are the object of my obsession and I want to spoil you rotten.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 28:14

So it's more about recognizing the relationship between you and the universe as a significant masculine partner than something that's just there because you know it feels bad for you. It's not like a charity box at the church. You know, and and really stepping into that awareness, that in every moment that you are being courted, that you are being, you know, doided on in completely, you know, completely in devotion of it's kind of a turn on. It also increases a lot of the guilt that you feel around, like, well, is this really worth it for me? Like, should I? It's like shut up, like I'm spoiling. You Put your hands over your head, I'm putting handcuffs on them and if I see you try to, you know, reciprocate for one more second, like you're in trouble and I'm going to thank you.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 29:01

I love it. I was listening to what I was. I was. I was well, this isn't your post. The post that you put up, I think it was last week oh my God, it was the juiciest post I'd ever seen and I was just like well, I want to piece of that.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 29:12

I know, and I was like watch Instagram, not let anybody at all see this and turn off, like there's like 200 views on it. I'm like really, really, but it just goes to show you like the way the universe truly works and the way the universe is trying to like screw it.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 29:29

You know like not screw us, but like all the time like penetrate us with abundance, like all the time, and the powers that be are like no, let's let them suffer, let's let them buy more crap from Timu and all this Like let's let them just think that they need something external. And we're all like oh my God, you don't Like, you are it?

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 29:52

Let's see how long we can make her scroll before she realizes she's not going to find what she's looking for.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 29:57

I know, seriously. I mean, there are so many warehouses popping up around here right now just full of stupid stuff coming over on the boat. You know, like, look at this contraption, it makes it so that you don't have to stick up your thumb, it sticks up a thumb for you, like you know it's so crazy. Eventually it's going to be like literally the matrix, like live in this pot Just look through this window and you live where you want. Just kidding, that's called meta.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 30:24

Uh-huh. Oh my God, do you think, would you say, that it was the work that you did with aerogetics that helped you to break your codependent patterns, or did that lead to it?

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 30:35

No, 100%. First, Chicken or the egg. I definitely think that the last remnants of my codependence died with the birth of aerogetics, and I'll give you a little tiny taste of that just so that you guys want to listen to the other episode. My husband did a water fast and he became like so we have a DS relationship, so dominant, submissive, all the fun stuff that you're mentioning. And when he did this water fast he was non-existent. He was not around. He like went inside of himself to go have his like. He should have been on the top of a mountain like a monk or something. He wasn't. Yeah, so he wasn't there. And when you have this dependent relationship, when you're in DS right like you're literally waiting for commands. He wasn't there and we didn't know that was going to happen. And by the time it did, he was in it.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 31:21

And so what do I do? Do I go find a new boyfriend? Do I start flirting on the internet? And so I kind of want to low key crazy and create the energy of like OK, if I was being supported in this way, like what would this look like? And that was when I started to tap into the true inner masculine and have conversations with him and I would get excited to hang out with him and I would get excited for him to, and I'd ask him questions and he would answer me. And I started to feel these tingly feelings in my body and they weren't sexual, but they were like arousal feelings. Yeah, so I started doing some research and come to find out this is something that has been practiced for 5,000 years, doing it back in the temple of Inanna and all that stuff. And, yeah, it's one of those disciplines that kind of disappears for a generation and comes back and certain people have these downloads, and so that's what hero genetics is all about.

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 32:12

Yeah, so I got to when he came back from that fast. I didn't need him anymore. I wanted him, I desired him, I was a whole woman that he came back to and he's like you're not upset. I'm like, no, why would I? Baby, I'm good. And so, all of a sudden, that's so better and everything was better. And clients were coming out of the woodwork because, all of a sudden, instead of gleaning energy from everything around me, I was making my own energy, which was then maximizing my field, which was bringing everything right to my doorstep. It was like, hi, I'd like to work with you and I'm like OK, sure, as opposed to like, please come in. It shifted the. It was like a vacuum that you changed from up into like blow.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 33:03

My god, I love it and I think that I think I really do believe that the universe puts us into these timeouts of separation, whether it be with a partner or a friendship, or money or a career, because it's really pushing us to break those codependent ties, whether it's for ourselves, so that we can live fuller lives, or, like yourself, you're going to go out there and you're going to be a teacher about the art. So it's really important. And I think, if people are listening, if they can take one thing away, if you're feeling number one, like you absolutely need to have someone or something, something to look at and explore and go deeper, or if you feel like something is being pulled away from you and that you're being denied or you're being put in a timeout whether again, it's a person, place, job, money, whatever think about how it might be calling you to expand and grow out of those codependent patterns. Because this is something that I've consistently seen, both in myself and my clients, where we literally get yanked out of situations when we're supposed to break those toxic cycles, because we are meant for better. I believe that wholeheartedly and it's breaking these patterns that leads us down that path for sure. That's amazing.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 34:19

I love your aerogetics work. I can't wait to dive into it more deeply on the next episode. Oh my god, you guys are going to die. If anyone signs up for your training, you should put a disclosure. Please make sure you have time to shower after this training. I love you, amy. I have so loved having you on the show. I cannot wait to have you back. How can people get in touch with you? How can they follow you? Where do you want them to connect with you?

AMY @THEAMYLEEWESTERVELT: 34:53

Yeah, you can find me all the places Instagram, the Amy Lee West Revelle because it's be real, there is no other. And then you can go on aerogenicscom. That fun little five day training that Maria is talking about is sitting right there waiting for you to devour it, or maybe it's going to devour you, I don't know.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 35:10

Probably the other way around. Yeah, you can find me on Facebook. Oh my gosh, thank you so much, amy. That about wraps up this episode. You guys, if there is anything that you're struggling with, curious about or just dying to know, send me an email at mariethefemcoachcom. Who knows, you just might inspire the next episode of the Femcast, and if you loved this episode, it would mean the world to me if you would leave a positive reading and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever the heck you're seeing this. That is all for now, you guys. Until next time, massive love and keep loving yourself up.