EMOTIONAL ENERGETICS | UNDERSTANDING THE POWER OF YOUR EMOTIONS AND HOW THEY CAN IMPACT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AND YOUR LIFE

Do you often find yourself suppressing your emotions?  Do you keep attracting the same toxic and emotionally unavailable relationships? Have you ever asked yourself “why mindset work isn't working for me?'

If so, you're not alone. That's why on this episode of The Femme Cast, we'll explore the misunderstood concept of emotional energetics and learn how acknowledging and processing our feelings can lead to more authentic connections and personal growth. Not to mention, faster and more life changing manifestations. 

We'll chat about: 

• What emotional energetics really means and how it plays a huge role in both our personal lives and professional success.
• Where the personal development industry might have got it wrong.
• Why so many of us have a hard time expressing our emotions.
• Why mindset work and affirmations sometimes don’t deliver the results we hope for.
• The impact of keeping emotions locked up versus moving through them in a healthy way.

I will share my personal story of how heartbreak and surrender became catalysts for abundance and success. With each story shared, the message is clear: embracing our emotions is not a weakness but a profound step toward healing. So, let's dive in and explore how to work with our emotions to create the life we want.

This episode is for you if: 

• You feel like you often suppress your emotions or struggle to express them in a healthy way.
• You want to learn how being in a healthy emotional space can help you manifest their goals and desires more easily.
• You want to enhance self-awareness amore to create more fulfilling relationships and a more balanced life.

We'll talk about the transformative power of facing our feelings, especially for women, and how doing so can unlock a flow of natural and necessary change. This episode is a heart-to-heart for those ready to let go of the façade and step courageously into a life of authenticity.

Let's do this. 

Are you ready to create a massive uplevel in your life and relationships? If so, use the link below to book your 90-minute Uplevel + Flow Intensive. This is a powerful 90-minute session where we go deep to energetically shift one relationship pattern you are ready to break free from, so you can magnetize more loving and supportive relationships without the chase...just flow!
https://thefemmecast.com/uplevel-and-flow-intensive

Are you ready to begin your heart healing journey today and manifest the love that you desire? If so, use the link below to register for my Uplevel + Flow Meditation Series . A 3 part series designed to help you heal from heartbreak and manifest love you've always wanted, but never thought you would find.
https://thefemmecast.ck.page/meditations

Are you ready to rewrite your love story + glow from the inside out as you become a magnet for the love you've always known you deserved? If so, use the link below to register for my 21 Day Radical Self-Love Challenge.
https://thefemmecast.ck.page/21daychallenge

Want more daily inspiration an tips on how you can uplevel your relationships and your life through the art of radical self-love? If so, use the link below to con...

Transcript

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 0:33

Hey you guys, what is up and welcome back to the show. I am so excited and grateful to have you back. Welcome, if you're new. This is probably going to be the single most important conversation that we ever have here on the Femcast. I am so excited for today's episode. We are going to dive into emotional energetics and understanding the power that your emotions actually have and how they can impact your life and your relationships. I'm going to break it down as best I can, but we may need to do this in a few parts. I'm just going to start talking and see where we end up. Hopefully this episode's not too too long, but we're probably going to go a little bit over time and, if I have to, I'll just split it up into a couple of different episodes so we'll see where we get. But basically, we're going to be breaking down what emotional energetics really means and how it plays a huge role in our relationships and our lives. Like I cannot stress that enough, we're going to be chatting about where the personal development industry might have got it wrong and may have misled a few folks along the way. We're going to talk about emotional energetics and how it changes the relationship that we have with our emotions. We're going to talk about why so many of us have a really hard time expressing our emotions in the first place, why mindset work and affirmations sometimes don't deliver the results that we hope for, and the impact of keeping our emotions locked up versus moving through them in a healthy way. So, again, we've got a lot of ground to cover today, you guys. So we'll do our best to get through all of it, but we may have to break it up in a few episodes. I'm going to keep an eye on the time and we'll kind of see what happens, okay? That being said, let's dive right in.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 2:19

So a couple of questions for you, and I'm going to encourage you guys to reach out to me at the Femcast on Instagram. You can find me there. I'll leave my handle and links and everything down below, but you can send me a DM and I really want to give some thought to these questions. So do you often find yourself suppressing your emotions or having a difficult time trying to express how you're feeling? Do you keep attracting the same toxic, especially emotionally unavailable relationships, and have you ever asked yourself or found yourself in a situation where you know you're doing the mindset work, you're doing all the things but it's just not working. If so, I want to hear from you, send me a DM and let me know, and let's have a chat about it, because these are all signs and symptoms that you know you've not learned to deal with your emotions in a very healthy and constructive way, and it's not to anyone's fault, you know. I mean, we're all just. You know, no one gave us a manual when we showed up here one day in our birthday suits.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 3:23

So I've seen the impact of unprocessed emotions. I've experienced the impacts of unprocessed emotions, and it all stems from this unwillingness, or not so much unwillingness, but this lack of awareness of how to deal with them in the first place. And so what ends up happening? We end up stuffing them down and holding them in and using all sorts of ways to kind of avoid them, and it's, you know, end up, you know, either projecting them, trying to find a quick fix for them, denying them, numb them, cover them up with positive thoughts and affirmations, and it always blows up in our face at one point in time. So this episode is for you if you feel like you often suppress your emotions or struggle to express them in a healthy way, if you want to learn how being in a healthy emotional space can help you manifest the goals and desire your goals and desires more easily, and if you want to enhance self awareness more and create more fulfilling relationships and a more balanced life, so this episode is totally for you.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 4:32

So let's have a little chat. You know, going back to the days of my douchebag era, which you know I shared very openly about on the show a couple months back, you know I was manifesting a lot of very crazy, toxic, emotionally unavailable relationships and you know these relationships were kind of like the snowball of pain and heartbreak and lessons like. But the lessons were so jumbled up with all the pain and the heartbreak I don't really think I was kind of getting them. You know what I mean. They were just messy as fuck, like honestly, like my life was a hot mess at the time Still is sometimes, but you know it's a different kind of hot mess right now. It feels like a more balanced, healthier, centered hot mess at the time Still is sometimes, but you know it's a different kind of hot mess right now. It feels like a more balanced, healthier, centered hot mess than it was back then, but then it was like a legitimate hot mess right.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 5:28

And so, you know, fast forward, you know the period after that when I was doing a lot of my personal development work and I started to heal and unpack a lot of the traumas and the pain and the hurts from those relationships and even the relationships prior, because those were a symptom of stuff that I had experienced well before. You know, suddenly I felt like I was being shamed for my pain. You know, in the spiritual community and the personal development community it's all about the high vibes and the positive affirmations and the positive thoughts, and you know, your thoughts become things. So only think the things that you want to bring into fruition. And suddenly I felt like I was being shamed for my pain. I felt like I was being put in the spiritual corner with the dunce cap on, you know, and it was. It became really uncomfortable, like the space that I went to for healing ended up being one of the most unsafe places I'd ever experienced, because suddenly I was being judged for being vulnerable, for being honest about what I was thinking, what I was feeling and the pain that I was in. And so, you know, my approach was to just deny all of it and do what everyone was telling me to do, which was think positive, say my fucking affirmations, do my vision boards, do all the things and everything will be just fine.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 6:45

Fast forward a few years later, in 2020, I lost everything. I mean everything. I lost my business, I lost my career, I lost my savings, I lost my home. I lost most of the things in my home, like there was literally nothing left. I lost most of my relationships. Um, it was one of the darkest, most tumultuous times of my life and the most painful, and what I'm realizing now is the healing that probably would have taken me two to three years, maybe five tops, had I done it right the first time. Took me 10., 10. 10 painful, emotionally exhausting, tumultuous years to move through.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 7:32

It doesn't need to take a long time. You guys, you can shortcut it. It doesn't need to take a long time. You guys, you can shortcut it, and by shortcut it I don't mean bypass, it's it's. I like to describe it as the difference between and I think it's Native Americans who have this saying, or someone has this saying. I don't know where it comes from. Let me know in the comments if you know what I'm talking about.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 7:52

There's a saying that you can go around the storm, which usually ends up taking longer, or you can just go right through the storm. I think the buffaloes do this. Go right through it, go right into it, go head first into the storm, you guys. Yeah, it's uncomfortable as fuck, but it's the quickest way to the other side, rather than trying to outrun it because you can't outrun it. You can't run around it. It's too freaking big. You just got to go through it. Put a good coat on, put some goggles, bear down, go through it and stop trying to avoid deny shame, white light yourself out of it.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 8:31

Yes, all these things are, you know, spiritual tools of you know saging yourself and white lighting yourself and using affirmations. Yeah, these are all great things and they're very supportive tools, but they're just tools. They're not going to be the thing that saves you from the work that you need. Nothing can save you Nothing. You can run, but you can't hide from the work that you need to do. It will always find you. It doesn't matter how far you go. I went all the way to Southeast Asia, you guys. My shit still found me. I was like 9,000 miles from home. Okay, it will find you. You don't. There's no running. So, anyways, after you know years well, it wasn't the 10 years, I'd say probably, I don't know maybe seven years in give or take I finally made the decision to surrender to my feelings. This was back in 2020.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 9:20

I made the decision to surrender to my feelings and to not shame myself anymore and I said to myself self we're not going to play this fucking game anymore. We're not going to make ourselves feel bad for how we're feeling. We've been through some shit, we've dealt with some shit. Now we have some shit to deal with, to heal through, and that's okay and that gets to be a beautiful part of who we are. So we're going to do the damn thing and we're going to stop with the affirmations. We're going to stop with the fucking visualizations. We're going to stop with the what's it called the vision boards and all that crap. I mean, yeah, they were great and I had them and I still do use them today. So I use affirmations every day. I give my clients affirmations, but they're not the be all end, all right, and they need to really speak to where you are in the moment. But that's a whole other topic for another day.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 10:09

So I made the decision that I was going to surrender to my feelings was going to surrender to my feelings, no matter how uncomfortable they were, no matter how good or not good they were perceived to be by myself or anyone else in the room or anywhere else, and to not shave myself for them. And you know, when I think of how quickly things have manifested for me in those years where I was actually really present with what I was feeling, what I was moving through, versus all those years that I was trying to block and deny what was coming up for me, I mean it is a night and day difference Because when I was not feeling my feelings and trying to deny them and doing all the affirmations and doing the mantras and doing the visualizations and having the vision boards, nothing was fucking manifesting. The exact opposite of everything I wanted was manifesting literally. And there is a very important reason, like there's a very what's it called? There's a very important and monumental, like essential reason that this was happening. It was a product of divine design that this was all happening. It was very intentional that's the word I was looking for. There was a very intentional reason why that was happening Versus to when I started to actually just feel my feelings and just let them be okay and let them be part of who I was and allow myself to move through them. And let it be a little bit uncomfortable for a fucking hot minute and come out the other side Night and day difference how quickly I was able to manifest shit, and I mean all kinds of shit Moves, homes, money, relationships, friendships, whatever. All because I was able to just surrender to what it was that I was feeling in the moment. Allow it to just be without any judgment, without attaching to anything, without making it mean anything about who I was or how good of a person I was, and just allow it to just be and moving through it that way. So I really want this. You know, if I have one intention for this podcast, for this episode, is for women everywhere to just stop avoiding what you're feeling or stop pretending that you're not feeling how you're feeling. Stop pretending that everything's okay on the outside when you know you're not okay on the inside. You know, and it doesn't mean you have to go out and tell everybody. I mean, there's ways to deal with emotions in healthy ways and we'll talk more about that, hopefully, either today or in other episodes, but for the moment, you know, just be able to acknowledge what it is that you're feeling and be able to let it be okay.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 12:57

You know, I can remember back, you know, when, I think, you know, when the whole douchebag era came to a screeching halt, I was in the car and I had just gone through a very, very tumultuous breakup. It was, it was such a mess Like I think there's probably one of the worst ones out of all of them. It was just a very toxic, um, very, you know, bordering on a narcissistic, abusive relationship that I was in, and it was. It brought up so much pain for me and so many of my abandonment issues and my fears of rejection. And I can remember being in the car and I was on the way to my parents' house, um, so I was on a rural road, it was, you know, pretty straight. For a long period of time I hadn't seen any other cars, it was just fields, like all around me. And as I was driving it felt like it felt like an eternity since I had seen another car, but really it wasn't that long, it was just I was, I was in my head, so much you know.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 13:53

So there, emmett's, you know, there was like gray, dreary skies, fields, you know, it's like early spring, so there wasn't a hell of a lot. Everything just looked kind of lifeless and dull and dreary. And I'm driving along this road kind of on my own, um, and tunnel vision to like kind of like the road I just let out, this scream, this blood curdling scream of rage and anger of this entire period, of what I'd gone through, and all the hurt and all the heartbreak and all the abuse and all the anger just came out in this. I thank God there was no cars around me, cause I can't imagine, like, even if you had, if you were in the car, like in front or behind me, I can't imagine. I screamed so loud, even with all the windows rolled up. I can't imagine anyone not hearing what was going on in that car. Um, it was like screaming, bloody murder, like I kid you not, and you know I did that.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 14:59

And then, as soon as it passed, I can remember just thinking okay, I just turned up my radio, I went to my parents' house for lunch and acted like everything was fine, but inside I was clearly, clearly not fine, like I was so not, I was so far from fine, but I was acting like everything was fine and then after that, I just continued on acting like everything was fine, when it was very, very, very not fine. So that remained inside of me until I found the courage to look at it many years later. So this was in, you know, probably 2020. But again, not until after losing everything. Okay, I held onto it, I ignored it for so long, I shoved it to the back burner, I denied it, I numbed it, I distracted myself from it, I kept myself busy, I told myself it was nothing. I did my positive mindset, work and my affirmations and all that shit, until I finally lost everything.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 16:02

And then then, you know, when I did, there was that moment of surrender where I just collapsed on the floor and I said you know, god, you know, whatever you believe in God, universe, source, you know. I said God, like I'm out, like I'm, I'm, I'm tired, I can't do anymore, I'm exhausted, I'm just gonna. I surrender, I completely surrender. I surrender to what is. I surrender to what I'm feeling. I surrender to what I am moving through and I trust that there's something in here for me, because otherwise, why would I keep becoming, why would I keep coming back here again and again, right To this pain, to this heartbreak, to this loss, to this grief. Right To this pain, to this heartbreak, to this loss, to this grief. And, sure enough, that was the gift that I needed to move through all of it. And I it was the one thing I was avoiding Like the plague. But you know what? It's okay.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 16:59

So you know I will say this you know, not looking at you know you're not stuck. There's no way that you're physically stuck. We can physically move anywhere we want to move. It's the not looking at your pain or whatever other uncomfortable emotion that you've got coming up. That's what's keeping you stuck, because life is by divine design and it will keep us in exactly the places that we need to be in order to spiritually evolve and learn the lessons that we need to learn. So I want you to hold that thought as we move through today's conversation, because it's very, very, very important.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 17:37

So you know, if you're somebody who's been struggling to feel your emotions, you've probably got, you know, a lot of toxic relationships around you, very painful ones, ones that are kind of triggering all your abandonment wounds, your fears of rejection, all those things. Probably a lot of emotionally unavailable relationships as well, as they kind of tend to mirror back to you the relationship that you have with yourself. So if you're not emotionally available to you, guess what? Most of your partners aren't going to be emotionally available to you either, indirectly though.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 18:06

What you may not realize is kind of connected with this is, you know, you're finding yourself in very toxic work environments. You're constantly being feeling like you're being pushed around, no one's really listening to you, your feelings don't matter. Everybody else's agenda is more important than your agenda, or everybody else's needs are more important than your needs. Pay attention to that. Very superficial friendships that don't really that. Maybe you enjoy being with or hanging out with or doing things with, but there's nothing going on beneath the surface. There's no real emotional connection there. Keeping you tied to these people right, and blocks to all sorts of abundance, love, relationships, money, career opportunity you name it. It will block you. And then this is why I think it's the one thing you know the one thing that we're all avoiding is our emotional discomfort, and yet the one thing that we're all struggling to manifest more of is more love and abundance. So what if feeling our emotional discomfort is the key to all of it, literally? And I really want you to let that sink in. So here's where I think personal development might have gotten it wrong.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 19:16

Okay, you know, we always hear people say this in the spiritual development community and they use this as an argument for why you shouldn't feel your feelings. Right. And it's this whole concept of emotions are just energy in motion. So you don't want to put energy into things that you don't want to create, because you know thoughts become energy. What you think wait, what was I? Okay, thoughts become things, and you know if you, if you think about the emotions that you're not enjoying like you're just going to manifest more of that shit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. I'm calling bullshit. There's an art to this and we'll discuss that. But let's think about this for a second. Okay, if this is true, if this is really true, if emotions are simply energy in motion which I do believe that they are actually, I really do I believe that emotions are energy in motion and I believe that they have the ability to manifest on our behalf. And you know, emotions can manifest, thoughts can manifest, words can manifest. These are all energetic expressions, right? Thoughts are energetic expressions.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 20:30

What you say, your words, are energetic expressions and your emotions are also energetic expressions, but because emotions come with an amplified charge, there's an amplification to emotions that doesn't happen to what you speak, doesn't happen to what you think and it doesn't happen to what you write. So you can write your affirmations a thousand fucking times, but there is a charge to your emotions that is not present unless there's a connection, right? Unless your emotions are connected to the thought you're having or connected to the words. That is not present unless there's a connection, right? Unless your emotions are connected to the thought you're having or connected to the words that you're writing, then the charge is kind of shared between the two, right, so the emotional charge is shared and amplified by the words you're saying, right? Or the emotional charge is then taken and attached to and amplified by the thoughts that you're having.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 21:23

Right, when you're trying to have a thought that emotionally doesn't align for you, there's a disconnect. Right, like you can say I love money and money loves me, but you're broke ass and you're afraid to look at your bank accounts. Been there, done that. Okay, there's been days where I've, like sweated going into my bank account to see what funds were there and I'm sitting there going I love money, money loves me and everything's going to be okay. And it wasn't. It was far from and it wasn't. It was far from.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 22:01

That fear of checking my bank account, you know, was incongruent with the thoughts that I was having. And guess which one had more charge and therefore more power to move and create as energy? It was the emotion, it wasn't the thought. The thought actually triggered more fear because I didn't believe it. I was the emotion, it wasn't the thought. The thought actually triggered more fear because I didn't believe it. I was like that's not fucking true. There's a little void inside my head going that's not true. You know it's not true. It's fucking BS. You know it. Look at your account, go, I dare you Go. Look, your hands are shaking, okay, so we have to. So, okay, going back to because I'm going off on a tangent, I knew this was going to happen today.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 22:46

Going back to, emotions are just energy in motion, okay, so I agree with that, right. And again, all of these things are energetic expressions. Thoughts, spoken words, written words, even body language, I think is an energetic expression, right. But emotions, words, even body language, I think is an energetic expression, right, but emotions. Emotions are unique because there's such a charge to them. We feel it right, and especially if it's a good feeling, neutral, we don't feel so much. But if it's a really good feeling or really not so good feeling, there's an amplified charge. You guys, you know what I'm talking about. Or even, sometimes, if you have a thought that triggers an emotion, then that thought becomes amplified. Do you see what I'm saying? That amplification is very important to look at, and so the law of conservation of energy says that energy can neither be created or destroyed, and I'm literally quoting this verbatim.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 23:42

When people use energy, it doesn't disappear. Energy changes from one form of energy into another form of energy. Okay, so if emotions are just energy in motion, what? And and sorry, ifions are just energy in motion, what, and sorry?

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 24:02

If emotions are just energy in motion, before I go off, and if energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only change form, then why the fuck are we all being taught to just ignore our feelings and assume that they're going to go away on their own just by doing some positive affirmations? They're not going anywhere. They're going to stay right there until you look at them, and the more charge there is behind them, the longer you're going to need to sit with them, or at least the more patience you're going to need to have to kind of move through them. The ones that don't have much of a charge, those move pretty quick, like it's, it's a no brainer. The ones that feel good oh my God, yeah, that's. You know, those are great, happy to feel. Those, the ones that don't feel good, the ones that we stuff down, that we're ashamed of, that we think we're bad people for having, those are the ones that we need to look at, because ignoring them, denying them, numbing them, distracting ourselves from them, is not doing us any favors. They're still there.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 25:08

And do you know how I know this Is every client that has ever come to me has been someone who has had repressed emotions that they've not been processing, that they never learned to deal with in a healthy way, and that's been manifesting toxic crap into their world or has been blocking them from everything that they desire. And, quite honestly like I hate to say this because, listen, I love my clients, if you guys are listening I love you dearly, so please don't take what I'm saying right now like literally. I love you dearly, so please don't take what I'm saying right now like literally, but I am very happy to take so many other coaches and spiritual development gurus sloppy seconds because and not to say that you guys are sloppy seconds, you're not I love you to bits and you all know that and if you've worked with me, you know how much love I have for each and every one of you. But, honestly, most of my people have come to me because they've gone to other coaches who have told them they just need to do the damn thing, they need to think positive, they need to say their positive affirmations and everything's going to be fine. And if things aren't fine, if things fuck up for them, if their world blows up and falls apart, that is their fault, because they were low vibe. I know this because I've been there.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 28:49

I had a very traumatic experience with a coach that I will never forget who just basically told me you just have to decide what you want and you just have to do it and you just have to just keep thinking the positive thoughts and the positive outcomes and everything will be just fine. But I'm afraid, I'm afraid I'm not going to be okay. I'm afraid I'm not going to survive. Well, that you're just being low vibe, you know. You have to just think about what you want. You have a choice. You always have a choice. You can choose to think about what you want or you can choose to think about what I don't. Okay, I'm just going to choose to think about what I want. I'm just going to choose to think about what I want. My life is falling apart right now, but I'm just going to choose to think about what I want. Oh my God, my bank account is in overdraft. I'm just going to choose to think what I want. Oh my God, I just lost my investment home. I'm just going to choose to think what I want. Guys, this has to stop.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 29:37

I want to see a revolution in the personal development industry, one where emotions become a healthy part of the experience, because they really do serve a powerful purpose, and ignoring them is not doing us any fucking favors. Can I get an amen, please? Okay, now let's talk about emotional energetics and how it changes the relationships that we have with ourselves and our emotions. So let's look at it this way, right? We've talked about how emotions are an energy in motion. We've talked about how energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be moved from one place to another.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 30:12

When we look at emotions as being, you know, part of who we are and part of our experience. Here we have to realize that emotions are essential to our spiritual growth and evolution. It is what we came here to experience. As spiritual beings having a human experience, we are meant to experience a whole range of emotion, from the most beautiful to the most fucking uncomfortable. Okay, we are here to experience and move through all of it. They tell us when we're on the right path. They tell us when we're not on the right path. They tell us what we need to heal, where our beliefs and our pains are coming from. And when we find the courage to move through them and allow them to transmute and evolve into a higher experience or a higher vibrational yeah, a higher they transmute. They transmute into a higher experience or a higher reality, then we also can pluck the wisdom that we need and you know the wisdom there is to gain from those painful experiences or those painful emotions, so that we can evolve as spiritual beings. So they're literally the key to our spiritual growth and evolution.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 31:31

So why, then, in the spiritual community, in the personal development community, are we telling people to ignore the very thing that's going to help them to come into self-mastery the fastest. Why, I don't know. I have not figured the answer to this question. I'm literally asking you guys why are people doing this? Is it because they want to keep us stuck? Is it because you know there's something to be said for keeping people stuck in this cycle, where they need the support and the mantras and the affirmations and the courses and the personal development work to constantly keep them on this?

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 32:08

What's it called this hamster wheel of trying to manifest their deepest desires only to keep them in struggle? Because that's what ends up happening when we learn to deal with our emotions in a healthy way. They are the most powerful tool we have to manifest, are the most powerful tool we have to manifest. Emotions are energy in motion. Imagine taking all that charge, clearing through everything that's there and moving into our power to actually manifest what we want and to know that, no matter how we're feeling, we still get to have what we want. We don't need to always be happy, we don't need to always be at peace, we don't need to always be in gratitude. We can be loved and supported as human beings even when we're angry, when we're sad, when we're in grief, when we're in shame, which is apparently one of the lowest vibrational emotions of all, even more so than rage.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 33:19

Okay, what if, in all of these experience, there is something beautiful to be gained and we choose to look at it that way, even if it is uncomfortable? What if, in all of it, is a beautiful gift and something to be gained? It is obvious what's to be gained when we feel good, because we've labeled them as good feeling feelings, but when they don't feel good, we've labeled them as bad and we've been told that nothing good can come of those feelings. And that's not true. The difference is in how we respond to those feelings and how we choose to deal with them, and that is what makes the difference. That is what separates us and makes us more. You know, act as you know. That's what that defines whether or not we're going to act as higher beings or not is how we act on those emotions when we experience them.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 34:15

Okay, so this leads us into why so many of us have a hard time expressing our emotions. And that's because, you know, we've labeled them as good and bad. Happy, joy, peace, gratitude these are all good feelings. Hate, anger, pain, loss, grief, rage, shame these are all bad feelings, or so we've been told. Right, I know they don't. You know, one feels one set feels good and the other one just doesn't. But they're not. It's not just because they don't feel good doesn't mean they're bad, and I think that that is. You know, that is something that we need to really rewire in our minds. Just because something feels not good doesn't mean it's bad. Just because the medicine tastes like crap doesn't mean it's not good for you. You know, I drank a shot of turmeric and ginger this morning. It tasted like crap, but it's good for me, so I took it.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 37:00

Okay, um, we need to change our perception, because you know what, sometimes it's the perception that the emotion is bad that is actually manifesting the crazy shit. It's like oh my God, I'm angry. Oh, that's bad, I'm angry. Oh my God, I'm in so much rage. Oh, I'm filled with so much hate. Oh my God, that's so bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Guess what? You just manifested a whole pile of bad because you thought that your emotion was bad. But it's not, it's good. Even though it doesn't feel that way, it is good.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 37:31

We just have to learn to deal with it in more healthy ways. You know, not the denying or the shaming or the distracting or the numbing right that we've all grown so accustomed to, right, and this looks like being too busy to feel our feelings. Constantly keeping ourselves busy doing tasks being in our to-do list. You know, working incessantly towards, like climbing that corporate ladder or wherever we are in our career. You know taking care of everyone else's needs, keep running ourselves ragged so that we don't look at the discomfort that we're holding on the inside with what we're feeling. Okay, and this is why oftentimes and this brings us to the next point that we're going to talk about, why mindset work and affirmations sometimes don't deliver the results that we hoped for. So we kind of touched on this in the beginning deliver the results that we hoped for. So we kind of touched on this in the beginning.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 38:31

You know, when you're doing the mindset work, you're doing the affirmations, you're doing the visualizations, you're doing all the things and you're coming to me this is my client and it's still not working. And that's because it's the emotions that you've hidden beneath the surface that are manifesting on your behalf and you don't even know they're there because you're so disconnected from them, because they've been there for so long and they're manifesting chaos around you, because they want you to look at them, because there's a gift in there for you, there's a there's wisdom in there for you, there is healing in there for you, and you keep avoiding the very thing that's here to help you spiritually evolve as a human being. So, yes, it's going to keep calling your attention with more pain, with more disappointment, with more hurt, with more abandonment, with more rejection, with more whatever you keep attracting into your world. For me, it was all of it. It was the toxic relationships, it was the constant financial struggle, it was constantly, you know, the constant struggling to, to, to be seen and be heard. All of that kept manifesting again and again and again, because there were emotions that I needed to look at on the inside, and those, the reoccurrence of those dynamics and those situations and those manifestations, were the very things that I needed in order to trigger the wound, the pain, the emotion, so that I could look at it and stop with the affirmations and the visualizations and trying to ignore it.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 40:12

I just needed to look at and move through what was inside of me, and a lot of it was a lot of hate and a lot of anger and a lot of rage and a lot of shame and it was very uncomfortable to move through. But the more I moved through it, the easier it got, and the easier it got, the faster I was able to manifest shit, crazy shit. That made no sense to me Like it was. It made no logical sense that I was able to manifest it. That's not to say there wasn't still difficulties. There was still difficulties.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 40:44

But now when I went through difficulties, I looked at it from the lens of okay, I'm here, I'm present, I am trusting that there's something here for me. This feels uncomfortable right now. I am not loving this right now. I want to cry right now. I want to scream into a pillow right now, but I'm trusting that there is something here for me and there's a reason why I'm here. So I'm going to be open to seeing what that is.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 41:03

And that's the mindset that I brought to those situations moving forward and it has allowed me to move through very difficult things so much more quickly and to be able to extract the lessons so much more quickly, rather than being in the resistance of constantly, when we're constantly doing the affirmations, when we're constantly doing the mindset work, when we're constantly keeping ourselves busy, when we're constantly numbing and distracting and doing all these things. We are in the resistance of just surrender, surrender, surrender to all of it, surrender to what you're feeling, surrender to the discomfort, surrender to all the stuff that you've been told time and time again isn't good for you. And I'm telling you it's safe to do so and it's going to be okay. It's going to be better than okay. It's going to be the best decision that you ever made.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 41:56

Okay, because honestly and this brings us to our last point the impact of keeping your emotions locked up instead of moving through them in a healthy way is, you know, like we said, you're going to end up in situations where you're constantly attracting toxic relationships, emotionally unavailable relationships, toxic workplaces, you know, maybe some financial struggle, maybe some, you know, loss of opportunity. You know all these things that are basically going to trigger all your worst fears and limiting beliefs and those emotions that you keep trying to bury so that you can see them. You have to remember we're hardwired. Like I'm not hardwired, let me put this we're spiritually inclined to manifest the things that we need to see our shit. So, if there's something that we're not looking at, let's isolate this to one thing, because I know I've mentioned a lot of different examples. Let's say, for example, you have this inner fear of abandonment, like it is so icky. You know your worst fear is being abandoned. Let's just say and you know this comes from I don't know, maybe um, feeling like you were abandoned as a child, you know, maybe you had.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 43:22

Um, you know, for me, I had a rough, I had a very rough experience in daycare when I first went to daycare when I was, you know, three years old. It was a very abusive environment and you know my family, who obviously meant the best and wanted the best for me you know that was never their intention parents, they really didn't know and didn't know how to deal with stuff. And you know, when they realized that the abuse was happening, you know they immediately yanked me out of there. You know my dad gave, you know, went in there, gave them, you know, gave them a mouthful and walked right. We didn't know about. You know, they didn't know to report it, they didn't know to talk to anyone about it. They just kind of took me out and brought me back home. My mom, I think, left work at the time and stayed home with me until I went to school full time. So, you know, they did the best that they could right and the best that they knew how.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 44:11

What they didn't realize is that on the inside, I was holding on to all this shame and self-rejection, self-loathing and this fear of abandonment. So you know, for me, you know, as I got older, this fear of abandonment started to show up in a lot of my relationships. So what I ended up manifesting was a lot of partners who would ghost me, a lot of partners who were there one minute, gone the next, a lot of partners who would cheat on me, who would lie to me, who would break up with me for like stupid reasons, who would basically just use me until the next best thing came along. And so this fear of abandonment in me right, this story, this fear was being triggered again and again and again and again, because I wasn't looking at it. And it wasn't until I looked at and acknowledged okay, I have this intense fear of abandonment in me.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 45:08

It feels scary to be alone. It feels scary to lose this person. It feels scary that I may never hear from them again. If I get off the phone with them right now or they're not calling me, what if I never hear from them again. What if this is it? What if I'm about to be abandoned and this fear that I'm feeling, this belief that I have about myself that I'm not good enough and then I'm going to be abandoned again and again? What if it's actually true?

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 45:37

And I sat with it and I cried and I journaled. And I cried and I journaled and I screamed into pillows and I was, I just sat with it and I let it just be there and I allowed myself to just be in a season of just being sad for a little while, moving through the pain, moving through the grief of all those lost relationships that had made me feel that way, moving through all that pain and discomfort, moving through all the reasons why I didn't believe myself to be good enough, and I just I let myself cry. That's not to say that I didn't let myself find some happy moments in that era, but I let it be an era of healing. I let it be an era where I just said you know what, I'm not feeling my best and that's okay. You know, like we always say in tapping, I'm feeling sad right now, but I am choosing to deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway, because I'm a good fucking person and it's okay that I feel sad right now. I've been through some shit, so I'm going to give myself a minute to feel sad and I know and this is the important thing, I know that it won't last. It will move, joy will come back, happiness will come back, peace will come back.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 46:54

When we get into those very heavy emotions, we make them. Not only do we make them mean something about who we are that's number one that we do but we also make we also come to this almost this belief, this mindset that it's never going to go away. It's always going to be like this. But that's never the case. Emotions are always moving. They're moving in waves, they're moving in cycles. What goes up must come down. This too shall pass, and every time I go through a phase where the emotions are a little bit difficult or a little bit heavy, there is always a jewel, there is always a gem within that. Maybe I don't see it while I'm in it, but I can usually find it after where there was a gift in all of that somewhere. Maybe it's directly related, maybe it's indirectly related, but the wisdom, the learning, the person who I am on the other side of it is never the same person that I was before, even if it means you went through some really heavy shit and now you're stronger, now you love yourself more, now you see your worth and you're not about to fucking settle anymore.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 48:03

And that may take some time, depending on how difficult the circumstances. You know, not all circumstances and emotions are equal. Sometimes we can go through some very heavy, difficult shit and that can take some time, and that's okay, let it be. Sometimes we can move through these things pretty quickly. Also okay. The important thing is that we move through them and stop avoiding, stop numbing, stop distracting, stop running and definitely please stop projecting. Like just because you're going through something doesn't mean you have to start projecting it.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 48:37

Scream into a pillow if you have to talk to people, but don't, you know, don't, for the sake, don't look for that quick fix. Don't look for other people to fix what's going on for you on the inside. You can talk, you can vent, you know, you can say what you have to say, but know that this is still yours. This, this is yours to deal with, to move through. It's nobody else's because it is serving you in a very, very, very, very powerful way. And if we keep trying to pass the buck off to everybody else around us, not only are we going to piss off everyone and no one's going to want to be around us anymore, but we're also going to avoid doing the work right, and the work is really to move through it and to let it be uncomfortable. Things like movement help, exercise, help, you know, dance helps moving, anything that moves the body. Drinking lots of water, getting lots of rest all these things very therapeutic and helping the body be a vessel to support you in moving through a lot of these more difficult emotions.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 49:42

But the important thing is giving it a voice. So use your method that speaks to you. For me it's writing, but you can also talk to an audio note right on your phone. You can do that. Do it, you know. Delete it when you're done so that nobody ever finds it. Write it in a notebook. You have an online journal. Lock it. Delete it when you're done, so nobody ever sees it. Make sure to empty the trash if you never want that stuff to be read, that kind of thing Like. There's always tips and techniques of how to do this and do this in a healthy way, and just remember that you know, no matter how shitty it feels, you will move through this and you will get to the other side and there will be joy and there will be sadness and all those things will come again. You just need to honor where you are right now and trust that when you do get to the other side of this, not only are you going to be more spiritually evolved and, you know, be able to learn the lesson from this experience, but you're going to open yourself up to so much more.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 50:47

Because when we start to hold all these emotions on the inside, what do we build? We build a container. What's a container? A container is a containment. It's a wall, it's a barrier of holding things in. Well, that same thing that's holding things in is also holding things out from coming in. It's holding out the joy. It's holding out the wealth, the love, the relationships, the friendships, the experiences that you're wanting so desperately to call in. You can't allow in because you've got this wall up that's holding in all the ickiness and blocking out. You know ever feeling anything like that again, but it's also blocking out all the other stuff too. So now, when you move through stuff right and you allow yourself to be in that space for a hot minute. Once you've moved through it, you've opened yourself up to a whole new level.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 51:39

This is what my clients experience on you know, on steroids. Basically, because when we, when we sit down in session together, we use this process to move through the energy, the emotional, energetic crap they've been holding on to. That's not serving them. We move through it really quickly, like at like lightning speed. We move through a couple of layers at a time and what they notice is after each session, they've opened themselves up to so much more, so much more of what they've been blocking and what they've been trying to manifest with the fucking affirmations and the mindset work. That hasn't been working right, because now they're open to it, they're emotionally available for it. Now you're emotionally available, so guess what? You start to manifest More emotionally available things and people.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 52:28

Okay, this is really the key. The key is in feeling our emotions and allowing them not to mean something about us, allowing them to just be and not to have to be, something that we need to always fix and avoid, right? So do the journaling, do the audio recordings, delete them after you're done, throw them in the garbage, shred them, do whatever you need to do, scream into a pillow Cry for days on end. If you have to Take a sick day, do what you need to do to allow those emotions to move through you, I promise you. Every time it gets quicker and every time it gets easier, and there's always an up level on the other side, always Guaranteed. Sometimes big, sometimes small, but always an up level. Okay, so that is all for today.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 53:15

We made it in one session. I'm so excited I don't have to split this in two parts. It's a little bit long, but that's okay. I think it's all a lot of solid stuff, so I'm going to leave it as is. If you're ready to create a massive up level in your relationships and your life and you're ready to really do this work, click the link below this podcast and book an intensive with me.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 53:35

These are powerful 90 minute sessions where we get laser focused to create major, massive change and transformation, and that's by literally doing this work at lightning speed. So remember to love yourself the way you want to be loved, and I promise you you will be. If you've got a question or if there's anything you're struggling with, curious about or dying to know, email me at mariaatthefemcoachcom and let me know all about it. Who knows, you just might inspire the next episode of the Femcast or send me a DM. That's cool too. If you love this episode. It would mean the world to me if you would leave a positive rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you're seeing this. That is all for now, you guys. Until next time, massive love.