SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO | CAN A RELATIONSHIP SURVIVE CHEATING

Have you ever asked yourself: Should I stay or should I go? Can a relationship really bounce back from cheating? Trust me when I tell you, the opinions out there are all over the map and it’s a decision that I struggled with myself, for a very long time.

That’s why in this episode of The Femme Cast, I'm laying it all on the table. I'm dishing out my two cents on whether a relationship can survive infidelity. Spoiler alert: it's a whole lotta gray area, sprinkled with a dash of black and white. 'Cause let's face it, every situation is unique, right? I'll be drawing from my own experiences, sharing what worked, what didn't, and how to navigate those murky waters. 

This episode is for you if: 

• You're in a relationship where there has been infidelity and you're trying to figure out what to do next
• You’re wondering if you even have options at all or if you should do what everyone is telling you to do, and just leave

I promise you that by the end of this episode, you’ll have a better understanding of what to do in your specific situation, so that you can figure out your next steps. 

We're diving deep into the messiness of infidelity, the struggle to rebuild trust, and the journey to reclaiming your self-worth. This is not your average podcast episode. This is raw, unfiltered real talk. Don't miss out—you might just find the clarity you've been searching for.

Let’s do this. 

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Want more daily inspiration an tips on how you can uplevel your relationships and your life through the art of radical self-love? If so, use the link below to con...

Transcript

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 0:32

Hey you guys, what is up? Welcome back to the show. I am so excited and grateful to have you here and I'm really excited for today's conversation. We're getting back into the infidelity you guys and we're talking about. Should I say or should I go? Can a relationship actually survive cheating or infidelity? And I've heard some very polarizing opinions on this.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 0:53

I'm going to be giving you my two cents today. I'm going to be sharing with you whether or not I think a relationship can or cannot survive infidelity, when it can, when it can't, and how to navigate the gray areas. And believe me, when I tell you there is a thousand, there's like a ton of gray area. It's all gray area with a little bit of black and white. Because you know what, there's always exceptions and there's always, you know, intricacies and nuances in every situation that doesn't really, that doesn't, that isn't the same as the next. So you really have to just be able to, you know, listen to what I share with you here. I'm going to be sharing from my own personal experiences and my take on everything. Take what you will leave. The rest, you know. Make sure you do what sounds, what feels good to you in your situation, right and, of course, if you need it, make sure to seek out support, like we talked about in last episode. Very, very, very important that you do not isolate yourself. It is a very slippery slope when you do that. Trust me, I know from experience. Okay, so let's dive right in. So this episode is for you if you're in a relationship where there has been some infidelity or you suspect there's been some infidelity and you're trying to figure out what to do, or maybe you're even wondering if you even have any options, because a lot of people feel like they don't even have options, like it's kind of like a one and done solution, right, but that's not always the case. So we're going to talk about it here today.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 2:15

So, as I mentioned in last week's episode, you know when I was cheated on, I stayed, for all the wrong reasons, right. So you know, going back to the details of the story, I was oscillating from fighting for a confession and let me tell you, I fought and I fought hard for that confession, which I never got, by the way to then the other extreme, which was happy denial. Here's how I explained and here's how that makes sense to me and why. Now, in retrospect, I understand why I was doing that.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 2:49

For me, fighting for a confession was almost like a writing of a wrong, like if I could at least get a confession, I felt like I could move on from this, I could move on from what happened and I believe that we could work towards healing together. But I needed to have that confession. And then you know when I would fight for that confession, and I would you know and believe me when I say I would fight, I would fight for this confession, and then I would you know it would get so intense we'd have these like eruptive blowouts, you know, again and again, and then there was a fear that I was going to lose them and then I would quickly go into unhappy you know, sorry, happy denial, right, trying to pretend that everything was okay, because at the end of the day, I was afraid to be without him. And that's what I narrow it down to. And that's why I think I was fighting so hard for that confession, because there was a part of me that believed that, listen, without that confession I can't be here, like I can't go on with this. So you need to give it to me in order for us to be able to come back and rebuild and I wasn't getting it. And so then it would push me into denial and then I would try and live there as long as I could and, you know, each time got a little bit longer but more and more feelings got repressed and then they would come out again and I would fight for that confession.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 4:09

Ultimately, whether I was in denial or whether I was fighting or confession, I was fighting to stay in the relationship because I was too afraid to let it go, because I knew it was going to be painful. Regardless of the reasons for leaving like, regardless whether or not I was justified or not, I knew it was going to be painful. I didn't want to really face what had happened. I didn't want to face that I was so long about him. I didn't want to face that he was intimate with somebody else and experiencing that level of intimacy with someone else and I would, my imagination would run so wild it would make me want to vomit. You know, I didn't want to believe that he could do this to me when I loved him and trusted him so much, and ultimately I didn't want to face the fact that this was confirming a belief that I already held within myself, which was that I wasn't enough and although for the longest time, for the last seven years, this relationship had me convinced oh, maybe I am enough, maybe I am worthy, maybe I am lovable after all, boom, actually, you're not.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 5:28

Well, this is how it played out. This is how it played out in my subconscious right. Obviously I was, but you know that's not where my belief system was heading at the time. So you know, the most uncomfortable for me to do was leaving, because now I'd have to face my shit. Leaving meant I had to be in the realness that I didn't feel like I was good enough to be loved and to actually do the work around that. So I was doing anything and everything that I could to cling to this situation so that I wouldn't have to face that. Do you see, what? Do you see? Like? It makes so much sense now in retrospect.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 6:09

And I couldn't understand why and this is also the reason why I think I wasn't telling anybody what was going on in our relationship. I was kind of pretending like everything was fine. I told very few people what was happening, but for the most part the world thought we were like, you know, the couple of the year right, because nobody had a clue what was going on behind closed doors, because I was so afraid to say it out, I was afraid to even say it out loud. Every time I said it out loud I wanted to vomit, because I just couldn't deal with the fact that, in acknowledging this, I knew something needed to be done and that something, depending on which course of action we took, might be the end of the relationship. And I, just I didn't, I couldn't go there, I wasn't strong enough, you guys, and you know what. I give myself grace and forgiveness for that, because I could only do what I was strong enough to do at the time, you know.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 7:06

So I knew that my struggle in this situation was like I said. I knew that there was no coming back from this if there wasn't a confession. I needed that confession in order to really and fully come back from it. So, but there was no confession coming, and so I kept trying to fight for it. And you know what I was feeling.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 7:32

You know, the longer it went on, the angrier I got, the more hate and hurt and sadness and fear I felt, because now it wasn't just the cheating that was the problem, it was the lying and the gaslighting that followed and the making me believe that I was crazy for thinking that he was cheating. I think that was the most painful part of all of it. And then I started to doubt myself. And that's where I say like isolating yourself. You know it's a very slippery slope. Now I do say you know, if you're going to confide in people, don't confide in the friends that are constantly going to bash them and gang up against them. And you know, you want somebody who's unbiased, who has their head on straight and who can be objective, you know. But I mean the isolation and just like I can remember, like mentally tripping in my mind and it was like a circus in there, you guys, it was like, oh my God he cheated. Oh my God, I can't.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 8:34

I would visualize it and it would come in. It would come, it would come into my mind like a rush, like a movie screen where I would literally see, you know, situations playing out and then I would feel sick to my stomach and then I would put it away, and then I would go about doing what I was doing, you know, whether it was laundry or grocery shopping or whatever, and I would put it out of sight, out of mind and I would pretend everything was good and I would be happy and I would go about my normal life. And it was exhausting, to be quite honest, and, like I said, the whatever hate, anger, hurt, sadness was there in the beginning, when the cheating initially happened, was now compounding with the fact that I was being repeatedly lied to, repeatedly gaslighted and repeatedly unacknowledged with what I was experiencing or going through, like I was crazy for even thinking it and out of line for even bringing it up and talking about it. So it was building, and it was building really fast and I wasn't talking to anybody, so I was keeping this all inside. And then that's where I say isolation, slippery slope, don't do it. So you know, and here's what I was thinking, the problem was right. So I've heard the common perspective Once a cheater, always a cheater If he cheats once and out.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 9:58

Like no room for compromise, conversation, negotiation, nothing like cheated done ended right. There's that extreme. And then there's the other extreme where you know anything, anything can be worked out in a relationship. Blah, blah, blah, blah, which you know, which was a certain degree. I do believe that anything can be worked out in a relationship if both parties want to work at it. You know, oftentimes we hear oh no, you know, there's always work in relationships. You have to just do the work and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and stick to it and make things, you know, move through the difficulties and make things right again. Well, that's great, but both parties have to want to do it, and I mean really want to do it, not just say they want to do it. They have to really want to do it, okay.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 10:47

So I think the reason you know I was struggling so much I was always the one to believe never stay after cheating. And so the situation was like fuck, this is actually like making me want to leave now and I don't want to and I don't want to face that and I don't want to go down that road. But without a confession, it was really hard for me to move past what had happened. It made it impossible for us to do the work, to repair the damage that had been done, to rebuild the trust. How do you rebuild trust when someone's still lying to you? Like? It's impossible to rebuild trust when somebody is still lying to you like flat out impossible to do, especially when they're telling you that you're the crazy one right, and then, on the other hand, I didn't have a smoking gun, like I didn't actually catch them in the act.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 11:33

So for me, like I'm very black or white, like that, if I don't see you with a smoking gun, there's always that glimmer of you know what do they call that in the courtroom? Anyway, glimmer of doubt, that, oh, maybe you are innocent, right, maybe just a little bit, maybe there's a 1% chance that you actually are innocent and I would cling to that, like there was no tomorrow. And then part of me believed well, without the smoking gun I really can't leave, because then it's just an assumption on my part which, in my defense, like it was not an assumption, like there was. I mean, it was obvious that there was cheating happening, like so obvious. So the fact that I actually needed hardcore evidence, like to catch him in the act with someone, boggles my mind Again. It goes back to that lack of self-trust, right. Without concrete evidence of what I knew to be true and happening in my relationship, I couldn't trust myself to take action. There was always that little glimmer of doubt, that little glimmer of hope, that 1%, that maybe this was all a bunch of circumstantial evidence thrown into the mix that made it seem almost guaranteed that he was cheating on me, you know, and I clung to that and I clung to that so deeply, but it never really worked, and so the damage wasn't being repaired, if anything.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 13:03

It was getting worse. The anger was getting worse, the hurt was getting worse, the resentment was getting worse, it was all getting worse, and the rage that I felt was getting worse, and the dreams that I was having were getting more and more intense every single day, and eventually I got tired of fighting for that confession, because it became exhausting, and then I just ended up parking it in happy denial for the longest time. So what ended up happening was, you know, there was a period where our fighting got really intense and then, like I said, I just I couldn't deal with the fear of losing him, and then we had a whole bunch of other stuff come into the mix and so I just went into happy denial and I just kind of parked it there, but the dreams continued, and then finally there was a massive, massive blowout, and I mean massive, and it had been building for months and months and I kind of saw it coming, but again I didn't want to look at it. But finally it was that nudge that I needed, like I talked about in the last episode. It was like in that moment, everything. It was like an off switch was flipped Suddenly, everything was gone. I didn't feel anger, I didn't feel pain, I didn't feel hurt, I didn't feel resentment, but I also didn't feel love and I didn't feel joy and I didn't feel connection. I was done. I was checked out of the relationship already and it was a few months later when it finally ended.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 17:00

And, looking back, would I have done things differently? Yeah, I would have. I would have. I would have. Obviously, I would have done the work. I would have made the adult decision to leave as painful as it was and I would have done the work. As painful as it was, I would have gotten the support that I needed at the time to do the work, to move through all those feelings of discomfort and all those beliefs of not enoughness and not being able to trust myself, and had been able to come out stronger and better on the other side. I did what I could. I wasn't a self-aware at the time. I hadn't. My journey to personal development was only just beginning after this relationship ended, so I had no idea. All I had was what I had seen and the relationships around me, which weren't always the best examples either. So I did the best I could with what I knew. So you know what. I forgive myself for that. And yeah, I should have left a lot sooner than I did seven or I think was it seven years, I think. After that I left and that was the 70 years way too long, way too long and way too painful. I would never in a million years do that again, but I know why. I understand why I did it then.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 18:16

Now, before we get into the reasons why I would have left, let me give you sort of my take on relationships and infidelity. And how do you know when it's time whether or not you should stay or leave? Right, because there is a decision to be made, regardless of what people will tell you. You have power to make a decision right. You have the power to make a decision that is aligned for you and your specific situation and never let anybody take that power away from you. Right? Here's where how I would navigate that and kind of things that you wanna consider when making that decision right.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 18:58

Is it a one-off situation or is it a recurring issue Is this person. Was this the first time this person's ever cheated, right? Is this the first time they've ever effed up? Was it a one-night stand? Has it been a longstanding relationship? They've been having all these things factor in, right? If this person has had a habit of having side chicks, right, whether with you or with other people. If he's always been like a serial cheater, if his last relationship ended because he cheated, guess what? Like, these are all red flags, right? Like, obviously that means he's got a pattern of doing this. You wanna be able to look at that specifically.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 19:41

Then there's the question of how serious is this situation Is? Has he been having a long-term affair with this person? Was it just a fling, a one-night stand? What are the parameters that you're dealing with here? Like, really look at it. Right, because there is a difference between physical infidelity and emotional infidelity as far as I'm concerned, right, physical infidelity is one of those things. You know what fuck? We're all human. We all make mistakes. Everybody has a weak moment, right? If it's a weak moment, I do believe you can come back from that and I do believe you can do the work.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 20:14

This guy's gone and fallen in love with somebody else, or buying someone else gifts, or taking someone else away on weekends Then you've got a serious fucking issue. Right Now he's emotionally I'm not gonna say committed, but emotionally attached to somebody else, and that is a very slippery slope, right. You know, unless there has to and I'm not gonna put any black or white on this but maybe he gets emotionally involved and physically. But maybe he has a moment where he comes to his senses and he's like, oh my god, I can't believe I did this and no, no, like you know, when you have that moment, when you know you take someone for granted, you have this thing with someone else, you think they're all like rainbows and roses, and then you're about to lose that person, then you realize how much they actually fucking meant to you, and maybe that person that you're having that rose-colored glasses relationship with didn't mean so much in the big picture.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 21:16

Maybe there was other issues in the relationship that led to cheating. And let me tell you, there are relationships that lead to cheating. There are situations within relationships sorry situations within relationships and dynamics that will lead to cheating, and both parties have to take accountability for that. So you know what was going on in the relationship when the cheating happened? You know that's another very important question Were you in a good place? Were you not in a good place? Were you disconnected? Were you spending time together? How was your communication? How was your level of intimacy? All these things play an important role, and that's not to put blame on the victim Like we're not victim blaming here, but let's look at the situation. You know from you know, a balanced and and and lens of a balanced lens, a lens of self-awareness and understanding. Okay, well, what, what co-created this experience between us? Right? So that's really important to look at. You also want to look at again.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 22:19

Going back to my situation specifically, is there ownership or remorse? Honestly, in my situation it was. It was clearly an ongoing thing that he was having with the side check and I suspect she wasn't the only one, but that's, that's an assumption, that I will say is an assumption, but she's the one that I know of for sure and it had been going on for quite some time. It was pretty, it was pretty gross, to be quite honest with you. So there was definitely physical infidelity and emotional infidelity there, like there was attachment there. This went on for quite some time and I think that you know, looking back, had there been ownership? Because he was fighting to stay in in the relationship with me, like he wasn't trying to end things, like he wanted our relationship to what's it called? To continue. He didn't want to end things, he was fighting to keep us together but at the same time he was entertaining this other chick. So that to me is just a whole other level of mind fuckery. But whatever, I think eventually it did end when, when things got really intense between us and there was, I think, a moment where, you know, we nearly ended, and I think that kind of made him look at the situation a little bit differently and I think he kind of took a step back from it, that that other dynamic, the side chick.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 23:48

However, I needed the ownership and the remorse right. I needed to own my part in what had happened, which I wasn't very emotionally what's it called? I wasn't emotionally developed enough to actually be able to do that, I don't think. But I really needed him to own his part, that he had cheated. I needed him to own up to it and I needed him to show some remorse, otherwise I couldn't come back from it right, and I think that there needs to be that ownership and remorse on both sides right.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 24:21

And I think that if both parties can come to the table and actually own their part and be remorseful about what happened and really and truly stand behind the commitment that they made to the relationship and be willing to go the extra mile to repair the damage, and that's really the next thing is the willingness to do the work to repair the damage, to rebuild trust by both individuals, because it's gonna take effort from both sides. So if both sides aren't owning what happened, if both sides aren't owning their part, if both sides aren't being honest about what they're feeling emotionally or showing some sort of remorse over what happened, if they're both not willing to do the work to repair the damage that has been done and to rebuild the trust and the relationship, then there's no point in continuing. And then, lastly, is a relationship a safe zone where both parties can express their feelings truthfully and that typically operates with good communication and emotional maturity, which we did not. Emotional maturity was not a nerve vocabulary, okay, so I recognize that now. So these are kind of like the guidelines, right, these are the things that you wanna look at, these are the things that you want to assess.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 25:51

If you're in a situation and you've just been cheated on and if that's you, I love you and I'm giving you the biggest hug right now, because I know how painful it is to experience that and a lot of times the reasons why and I will say this, the reasons why it is so painful when somebody cheats is because there is that underlying belief that we're not good enough, we're always gonna be rejected and abandoned, and it's perpetuating and confirming that narrative right and that's why it's so painful and that's why we try to cling and attach to these relationships, because it soothes that core wound that we're not enough and we're afraid of being abandoned and rejected because of that right. So if that's the case, absolutely hit me up. You know what to do the link's below. But if you're trying to just decide whether or not this relationship is for you, these are the things I would look at. Is this a one-time occurrence or does this happen again and again and again?

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 26:46

Is this guy like a socio-jeeter, whatever you wanna call it? Is there ownership? Is there remorse? Is there a willingness to do the work to repair the damage? Is there a willingness to do the work to rebuild trust? And the rebuild trust one guys takes time. That takes time and commitment. So think about that Is there? Is it a safe zone where both parties can express their feelings truthfully and honestly and openly and where there's typically good communication and emotional maturity? That's not to say that there's never fighting. Of course there's gonna be fighting, of course, but if you can't have like a good communication, difficult conversations with emotional maturity, then it's gonna be really hard for you to navigate in this playing field, right? So these are the things that I would say are the things that you need to consider, right?

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 27:47

So, having said all of this, if I knew then what I know now, would I do things differently? Absolutely I would, because I will tell you why. Like I said, number one, this was a pattern, right, and I didn't realize it until much later, but this was a pattern and this was a relationship that you know. This side chick was not like a one-time deal where he just kind of, you know, in a moment of weakness, kind of slipped up. This was an ongoing thing that he kept deceiving me on again and again and again and again and then deceived me after it ended that it never happened. So a lot of mind fuckery, a lot of mind fuckery, a lot of twisting of the truth, a lot of gaslighting. That is toxic behavior. Bye-bye, that's number one. Number two there was no ownership, obviously no remorse. Well, I'm sure there was remorse, but there was no ownership. So I couldn't, that was a pill I couldn't swallow.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 28:50

There was a willingness I'm gonna say there was a willingness to do the work, but it wasn't really. It was more of the appearance of doing the work but not actually doing the work. Do you know what I mean? Like we were going to like couples therapy and having these sessions and he was like showing up disgruntled and you know whatever, like oh, I'm gonna have to be here, right. But he wasn't actually doing the work. It was just to say, well, I'm going to counseling, so what more do you want from me, right? And then is the relationship a safe zone? Absolutely not. We were both wildly emotionally immature and we could not have an emotionally mature conversation about what we were feeling at all. I was of the again either, the, what's it called, go. You know, have like this big, like emotional outburst modality to shutting down completely and pretending to be in happy denial. He would, you know, shut down completely and not talk about it until he would explode one day because he couldn't take it anymore. And so we weren't. We had all of these were like I was gonna say, like not a check mark, they were like an X in the box, like on all of them, x, x, x, x X. We did not stand a chance based on this. So, knowing now, had I known then, when I know now, I would have left. I would have left because there was really no coming back from that, given the situation that we were in at the time.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 30:27

Now, if you're in a situation, I'll give you some other examples. If you're in a situation, you know where your guy cheated on you. He was drunk one night, he was out with his buddies, there was his chick, whatever things got hot and heavy in the back of his pickup truck. You know, whatever the story is, I'm actually my friends could kill me. I won't say her name, but anyway, even it was a long time ago too. This was like this situation is over and done with, like decades ago. But so they got hot and heavy in the back of a pickup truck and you know, he was weird for a couple of weeks and not looking you straight in the face and finally you put two and two together and you called him out and he's like fuck, I did, it happened. Oh my God, like I'm so sorry. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 31:13

You know that still stings not saying it doesn't still stings but I do believe people can come back from that. I really do. And I think that again, is there remorse? Right, he's owned it, he's owned up to it, even though you had to kind of call him out first, but still, he owned it. Right, let's give him that he owned it. There's definitely remorse. Next thing you wanna ask yourself is he willing to do the work to repair the damage, to build the trust back? Right, can we talk about it openly? Can we talk about the uncomfortable feelings that are coming up on both sides? Right, then I think, I really do think that you can come back from that. Like I mean, I may have a lot of like man haters like commenting below no, no, no, when's a cheater? Always a cheater? Fuck that. Like we're all human people, f-up, you know it's gonna happen. I mean not it's gonna happen, but it does happen like it's natural. We're only human. We make mistakes. Let people make mistakes and then decide what's right for you. Now, again, I'm telling you you can come back from that. That doesn't mean you have to. If it's a deal breaker for you, walk away. If you can't come back, if you think no, you know what, based on where I'm at right now, I don't think I can come back from this. I don't think I can do the work to repair the damage, then that's your decision. Right?

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 32:38

This guy's been having a pattern of cheating, right? If he cheated on his ex and ex before and ex before that, honey, walk. Don't even give him another chance. Like, just keep fucking walking, because in that situation, yeah, of course he can change. That's not to say that he will never change. He can change, but he has to want to change. You cannot make him.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 33:07

And if he's not I'm assuming if he's not owning up to it or showing remorse, or willingness to do the work and to communicate, and blah, blah, blah, blah, then you have your answer. And you know what. Honestly, if they have a habit of cheating, there's something deeper going on there, like it's not even about you anymore, you know, and when those pains come up, those triggers come up, it ain't even about you, honey. It's never about you. It's never about whether or not you're good enough. It usually has everything to do with how good enough they feel, and when they don't feel good enough, it's almost like a dopamine hit right Usually. Listen, I'm not a psychologist, I'm just saying this is what I've seen right.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 33:54

But a lot of times there's also there's distance in a relationship. People take each other for granted. Life gets busy, things get stressful, we're not as intimate as we used to be. We don't talk like we used to. We don't. Maybe there's an emotional disconnect. Maybe they were. There's a thousand reasons why people cheat you guys, and it's not all. So cookie cutter. It's very complex.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 34:18

So here's my advice to you. These are my kind of questions that I would ask yourself to really assess your situation, whether or not you should stay or go. And you know what, if you're really having a hard time deciding, seek out a relationship counselor. Go to couples counseling. See what they say. Maybe go out if they're not willing to go with you. Maybe you go and speak to someone and have the conversation. Weigh the options. Weigh the different options that you have in front of you and on what you need to do to approach this from your most empowered place and never let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't do.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 35:01

Right, you always have the power to make a decision that is aligned for you, even if it's not something that other people would agree with. What is aligned for you is up to you. Did I make the best decision back in the day? No, I didn't. Was it aligned for me at the time? Yeah, it was actually, because, even though it was painful and I wish I had those seven years back and I hadn't wasted them you know what I learned a lot, and I wouldn't be the person that I am today had I not gone through that experience. So it's very important to honor where you're at and what you feel, what feels like the aligned thing for you to do, and that is how you take your power back in these kinds of situations, okay, so remember, love yourself the way you wanna be loved, and I promise who you will be.

MARIA @THEFEMMECAST: 35:46

And if you're ready to create a massive up level in your relationships, click the link below this podcast and the show notes and book a 90 minute intensive with me. These are powerful sessions where we will get laser focused to create massive change in transformation in your relationships and your life. And if you've got a question or if there's anything you're curious about or dying to know, hit me up at mariethefemcoachcom. Who knows, you just might inspire the next episode of the Femcast. Last but not least, if you love this episode, please, please, please, please, leave a positive reading and review on Apple Podcast or Spotify or wherever you're listening to this episode. That is all for now, you guys. Until next time, massive love.